of darkness and deep valleys

sigh. theres so much work i gotta do. i haf to hand up all my overdue work by 12 noon 2day. sian. i haf 4 physics stuff, 3 maths assignments and an ss essay to complete. fuck. and i havent even started. shit. i'll be up till 4... bitch.

i look up at the lights,
all hanging over me.
greet the strangers that
walk past me.
yet time has gone past,
memories will fade away.
looking at the pages of my life,
watch as they fade away,
so far away.

took that shot in life,
only to realise,
i was mistaken.
every hour, every minute,
everytime i look at you,
i realise,
you're all i'm living for.

never a good time to say goodbye,
like a distant memory,
of times that keep slipping away.
time will be the one which holds you down.
those words come out,
when those you want have gone away.
give me one more moment,
if i beg would you please.

stars shine, only to laugh at you.
stones turn to mock you.
dawn breaks,
but i cant see the light.
life so tangled up
in all the shit i'm through.

even the best fall down sometime...

fuck the girl i'm looking for

bah after many days of inactivity on the guitar my fingers have become all crappy again. bleh. shall start playing again. yay.

BAH I HATE THE FUCKING CLICK FIVE AND ALL THAT SHIT.

ali baba, ali ali baba...

muhahahaha!!! i am so very happy now!! ah!!!!!!

ok so my performance jus ended a couple of days ago, and overall it was wonderful. i mean absolutely fantastic. haha. the performances went really well, with no major screw ups or anything. and everyone wad so high!!! hahaaha!!

sigh i guess we'll all miss alibaba 06. and rightly so. all the fun times we had, playing a fool, listenin to the oh-so-lame jiantong, watching/listenin to yunkai and junyi fool around... lol. the qiang dao 'deng deng deng' mv. lmao. yihao and jiarui's jokes and all the crap. and the feeling after performing. the feeling of accomplishment. i think dats wad we'll all miss the most.

sigh. i am already missing alibaba so much. but its over. the show will go on.

onward!!!!!!!

tales of a tormented soul, sounds of the dredged past

its so hard to put the past behind you.
cos it always seems to come back to haunt you.
as much as you want to leave it behind,
bury it and leave it to die,
somehow it never does want to stay still.
either people will bring it up,
and you yourself will recall the past.
regret is the biggest culprit.
regret makes us worry.
regret makes us want to look back,
makes us need to look back.

your mistakes,
they will haunt you.
forever.
people change, things change,
i guess people jus don see it.
but i shall abstain from saying anythin,
less i be framed or smthm.
but lets put it all behind,
and start over.

as nobodys.

that, or fond memories.
of the times we had.
the life we enjoyed.
its like the feeling is gone,
it doesnt feel right anymore.
how i wish that we could turnback time,
but sadly we cant.
we haf to live with it.
i haf to live with the mistakes i made.
and i cant say id on regret them.
i do, very very much.
i would give almost anything to haf those times back.
to undo what i've done.

but sadly the show will go on...

i want to change the world,
but all i have isnt enough.
yet i will change the world.
jus wait and watch.

i want you here tonight,
i need you by my side,
for jus one more moment,
for jus one more moment with you...

dont phunk with his heart

diane is in love with dang lah. seriously.

to those hu will say i'm 'jealous': well i'm not. theres notin jealous to be about. don believe me too bad.

i lie and i'm proud of it

the horrors of homework and the bloody lit essay

work has been piling up like crazy this term. and i suspect (yes i really do) datits gonan get a whole lot worse. this doesn nto bode well for me. den again when does work every bode well for anyone?
point is, i believe we all must work out some strategies to dela with this impending doom that will be homework, and all the other projects to boot.

desmond's guide to surviving homework overload

1. DONT DO ANYTHING.
hey this is a very effective method. at least you won be all stressed and all. and u don really haf to work very hard for this. downsides: parents, teachers, ultimtaely your marks. effectiveness: 2/10

2. DO SOME AND DON DO OTHERS
well this isnt dat difficult to do either. u can choose to do the subjects you like, and forget about the rest. u'll be kinda relaxed to :) downsides: parents, teachers and ultimately ure results, but to a lesser extent den in method 1. effectiveness: 4/10

3. DO MOST AND MISS OUT ONE OR TWO
i believe by far the most widely used method. probrably because of the effort:end result ratio. this methid gives u the most pay off for that amount of effort. downside: stress lor. effectiveness: 7/10

bah i'm sleepy. jus finished my cocked up lit essay. screwed is the new me. muhahahaha. shall continue this some other time if i'm bored enough

some weird and funny shit. props to subra.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Desmond!

1. According to the story, Pinocchio was made of desmond.
2. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than desmond.
3. When provoked, desmond will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.
4. Desmond, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
5. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing desmond.
6. Medieval knights put the skin of desmond on their sword handles to improve the grip!
7. Desmond can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!
8. In his entire life, desmond will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
9. Europe is the only continent that lacks desmond!
10. South Australia was the first place to allow desmond to stand for parliament.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dessy!

1. If you drop dessy from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
2. A thimbleful of dessy would weigh over 100 million tons.
3. Apples are covered with a thin layer of dessy.
4. Dessyocracy is government by dessy.
5. Originally, dessy could not fly.
6. Baskin Robbins once made dessy flavoured ice cream.
7. During World War II, Americans tried to train dessy to drop bombs!
8. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, dessy is the victim.
9. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to dessy!
10. Dessy cannot be detected by infrared cameras!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Noraa!

1. The air around noraa is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
2. The number one cause of blindness in the United States is noraa.
3. Noraa was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
4. Originally, noraa could not fly!
5. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but noraa can not!
6. Without its lining of noraa, your stomach would digest itself!
7. Noraa is the largest of Saturn's moons.
8. Noraa can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee.
9. If you blow out all the candles on noraa with one breath, your wish will come true.
10. The only planet that rotates on its side is noraa.

lmao.

diane/pea

pearlyn and diane have turn lesbian. seriously. i mean, the way they fondle each other and make eyes at each other, and contstantly leaving impressions (read: marker stains) on the other jus goes to show how lesbian they are. but in all seriousness, they haf changed for the worse. as henry put it, they've become mroe childish. much more. and i haf to qutoe subra here: "they are not the same pple whom i once could talk to about.... things". how true. its like i don noe them anymore. they arnt the same pple i used to know. i don like the new look diane and the new look pearlyn.

generally, nowadays they are jus plain irritatin. not funny, jus irritatin. maybe its jus me, but i tink the reason i'm so irritated by the both of them is because i used to know different people. and i am saddened to see them having degenerated to this current state. sigh. i'm jus hopin things will change for the better. but i doubt it will.

changing lanes, changing worlds.

gay gilbur

gay and theres no denying it

well, i have come to the conclusion that wilbur is gay. not a hard one, but still a conclusion nonetheless.

so, why do i say this? well the reasons are as follows:

1. wilbur is actively against gays/homosexuality etc. this is due to the fact that he wants to keep secret his sexual orientation, and the best way to do this was to claim to hate gays and want to kill htem all. this is but a facade. in truth, wilbur is actually gay. so do not be fooled by him.

2. when u touch him, wilbur reacts very violently. the reason for this is that he gets instantly turned on, and thus displays a very sudden burst of emotion. wilbur loves to be touched, but again claims to hate being touched so we won suspect him of being gay. so do not be fooled by him.

3. wilbur touches ganesh. i've got nothing more to say, except do not be fooled by wilbur.

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY WILBUR!!!

confessions

confessions of 300 unmarried was a bad play. seriously. it was pretty bad.

i'm too sian to blog about it jus yet. maybe another time. ATOMIC JAYA!!

belief in all that you must. know that you are wrong on all counts.

franz ferdinand

FRANZ FERDINAND!!!!! AHH!!!!

woohoo. the concert rocked.

pluses.
1. alex kaprano standin on the bass drum (lols at lester who missed it)
2. 3 people 1 drum
3. nick mccarthy's dancing (woohoo)
4. great music (!!)
5. take me out.

minuses
1. serious lack of covers. lester told me they covered watcha waitng 4 in one of their concerts >.>
2. relatively short concert.
3. no encore.
4. painful lights. sometimes.

franz ferdinand rocks. woot.

liking her for me

liking her for me

i've been thinking. people our age, we're always liking people/getting into relationships. but is there really a need to? lets analyse this logically and systematically.

what are the advantages of getting attached?
- to feel wanted. to know for a fact that someone desires you. its good for the ego.
- to feel needed. its also good for the ego.
- to boast. like look i haf a bf/gf. coolness is me.
- emotional comfort. being attached gives someone that sense of comfort, the sense that theres ssomeone to fall back on.
- physical needs. not sex, but physical intimacy. we're genetically engineered for it.

what are the disadvantages of being attached?
- distraction. one loses sight of own priorities. slowly.
- isolation. to diff extents, but essentially you are creatin a world of your own.
- restriction. theres alot of things you cant do when you're attached. or at least you will set some boundaries on yourself. wheres the fun in that?
- break up. its inevitable. can you deal with it?

so is being attached a good or bad thing? my conclusion is that as long as you dont let it get to far, it wont hurt you too bad. yes it'll hurt, but the pain is necessary. we will all experience the pains of "love" sooner or later. so why not sooner? as long as you dont take the relationship too far (we are only 15-16 after all), then why not? the experience should be good.

however, there is a problem. the problem is finding that person. a person who you like, and likes you back. liking people isnt hard. finding people who like you isnt that hard. finding someone who likes you and you can like back or vice versa is the diffucult part.

but hey. dats what we live for isnt it? answers, conclusions and ultimately, problems.

be careful what you wish for...

i am so dead.

thurs, 16 feb
sch: 7.40 - 3.05
interhse bowling: 5.45 - ?
franz ferdinand concert: 8 - ?
homeworl: eat shit.

fri, 17 feb
work due: 2 maths assigments, 1 lit essay, 1 ss essay.
sch: 7.40 - 3.05
sl meeting/physics meetin: - 3.30 - ?
go check out air rifle with subra: ?

i'm like so screwed.

woohoo to me.

new template

haha yay i got a new template for my blog.

some reasons why i did so:
1. my old template was gettin pretty old
2. time for some change i guess
3. its best to disassociate myself .

everyone say "yay!!"

kiss my arctic monkeys

stop making the eyes at me

this is a story.
a story about a rabbit.
this rabbit, he was different.
instead of the usual floppy ears,
his ears were stubby.
useless for hearing, really.

but no, this rabbit was not discouraged.
he did everything he could to fit in with the rest.
he walked like they did,
he talked like they did,
he even slept as they did.

but there was no denying the fact,
that he was different.
too different.

dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness!

now this rabbit,
he wanted to badly to be like the rest.
but sadly, maybe he didnt know it,
but his antics,
they'd seen it all.
they were old, last century.

scantily clad under the clear night sky

the rabbit, he persevered.
everyday he would watch them other rabbits,
watch them as they laugh,
as they made merry.
then the rabbit, he would bug them.
wanted a share of their carrots he did.
he persisted,
made himself a pain in the ass,
just so maybe, he could be like them.

but he never did.
and he never will.
because why?
this rabbit, he never learned.
not with stubs for ears.

the point's that there aint no romance around there

when i die who's gonna be there to catch me?

school so far hasnt been too good. lagging in hw, sleepin in class, playing bridge during lessons (slbeit only clhi), all these don bode well for my academic year ahead. but still, all these should not be happening. i am supposed to be catching up with my work and shit, but i am evidently not doing so. playing too much nba live doesnt help.

why? i often ask myself this question. and the answer is surprisingly simple. i aint scared. nto enough for me to start working damn hard. when will i start becoming gan cheong and everything? i dunno. i seriosuly dont. i noe alot of people will say i am digging my own grave, and to an extent its true. i'm putting faith in the fact that i will eventually deliver.

happiness. sweetness. the smell of silence.

we should all think positive.
really.
i mean, why bog yourself down with negative thoughts?
think happy, and think free.
it'll only make you happier,
more relax.
why worry and be sorry?
instead we should adopt a positive attitude to life.
yes optimism someitmes only leads to greater disappointment,
but if you dont even take the rest,
you'll definitely never understand the beauty of life.
for optimism opens your eyes to the smaller things,
to the finer details, to the tiny beauties,

succeed, or fail.
make, or break.
hunt, or be hunted.
live, or let live.
choose.

Let my weakness be my strength

weakness is a virtue.

no one wants to appear weak. everyone seeks to put on a brave front. we all put on a strong face, not wanting to be hurt. not wanting to show our weaknesses. weakness is feared. despised. why? weakness should be embraced. we must learn to accept them and not be afraid to appear weak. the person who accepts his weaknesses, who embraces his imperfection, it is he who is strongest. all of us are weak. we all have our weaknesses, some mroe than others. some hide theirs betetr than others, but we all want to hide our weaknesses. cover them up in hope no one will discover them. afraid that people will prey on them. afraid what it will show of yourselve.

but realise this. to be weak, yet to be able to strive on inspite of it, now that is strength. weakness is no fault. it is a test. of your character, of your ideals, but most importantly, of your will to succeed.

boohoo

why must i fall sick 2 days before x-country?? this is so sad... wtf.

bleh.

RAWRER part 2

rawr!!!

i was held at ransom by my own money lah!! wtf. aniwae i bought a new pair of shoes. not adidas, but quite nice lah. haha.

on a seprate note, aaron is a bitch. really. wa lau i chiong my lit essay like free liddat, and he tells me he not going back to sch cos got some dinner with his aunt. so it is highly possible i will get a 0 for a completed essay. WAD THE FUCK!?! aaron should die. DIE!

RAWRER

RAWR!!!!!!!!

today is 11 days to my bday. and u all had to give me my present so early eh? rawr.
ser en is sick lah... tink of all these kinds of weird things to do to pple..

proof:
1. subra having toothpaste squeezed all over him. dat was so funny.
2. me having all sorts of shit on me. dat was so not funny.

wa lau its damn sad lah... having whipped cream poured down my back IN THE CANTEEN! WTF!! and the whipped cream was nice lah... wad a waste. and i hate u lah wilbur + ser en + diane + pearlyn + audrey. i went to laugh at aaron and den kena until like free liddat. wa lau i looked worse off den aaron for once in my life lah... dats seriously sad...

and i looked like a monster can. its a disturbing sight, having lumps of flour stuck to ure collar, and ure whole back soaked with whipped cream. i jus threw away the shirt wtf!!

u all are so gonna pay lah. ser en u especially. all i can say is this: beware. u never know whats about to hit ya.

rawr.

you drive me crazy

this is madness. and if u didnt already noe, no 8 is kobe.

holy shit

like holy crap. there is a national swimmer named joscelin yeo. and its a guy!! like wtf?!?

i aint jokin. check out today's URBAN. the 2nd last page. joscelin yeo is a MAN. i repeat A MAN!! she's jus plain scary.

i know you're out there, somewhere out there

everytime i see your face,
it brings back those times,
the joy we shared,
the sorrow we beared.

lost in the haze that is tommorow,
our dreams,
aspirations,
hope.

what do we really want?
is this world too much for us to take?

every move you make,
its a wonder,
the life you lead so beautifully.
oen chance,
thats all there is.

could it be?
the world we love falling apart slowly.
out of place,
lost out in space.

i don want this to chnage,
i cant bear to watch you walk away.
but in the end,
nothing really does matter.

cos this is all that i have.
all that i am.

being the good little boy i am

today was more or less the start of the academic year for me.

lang arts was cool. mr chew is pretty funky. and lang arts was pretty damn interesting today.

some things to ponder upon:

1. why is science so successful? is it because it jus is so successful?

essentially yea. science is successful and so widely accepted/embraced very much because of how much it has contribtued to mankind. science has given us so much, so much so dat alot of it we take for granted. because it has achieved to much for mankind, we hence all take it dat science is thus a success.

2. generalisations. true or false? jus because the sun rises everyday, does it mean it will rise tom? can we assume something based on general behaviour?

i thot this was a pretyt interesting point dat was brought up in class. it deals largely with the human mindset. we are so accustomed to certain things, we don actually realise its there. the process dat is. like the sun rising. will the sun rise tom? can anyone say? theoretically it will, but practically will it? i think this is one of the major problems faced in science and the scientific method. we assume many things to be true. and hence from there we draw our conclusion. yet we never do consider the fact dta, maybe, factors might change.

-> from here i came out with this qn: is the truth really the truth? how do we define the truth? by theory? observation?

so, lemme try to answer this qn. the truth, in my belief, is but how we view a certain situation/phenomena etc. it is but wad we choose to believe. so is it really the truth? its hard to say. maybe, mayeb not. we define the truth, through many different methods. philosophy, science, religion etc. but how den do we "know" the truth? is it by observing a particular pattern, and hence deducing that to be the truth? much like aristotle observed dat heavier objects fell faster, hence deduced that to be thee truth. wad it the truth? at that time, yes! people believed. in that, hence that was, to them, the truth. but as we now know, they were all wrong. hence wad can we deduce? that truth, as we define it, is not fixed. it is ever changing. our understanding of a particular object/situation cannot be fixed. it has to evolve with what is considered true.

3. science vs religion.

which is more important?
its hard to say which is more important. they are both impt in their own rights. different means to understand similar things. different truths to the same phenomena. imo, science is an outward understanding, whereas religion is an inward understanding.

science does what religion cannot, which is to put figures and statistics to phenomena. science tells us more about the world around us. science lets us explore the world around us. it gives us an idea of what things are made up of. simply put, science gives us answers.

but religion gives us answers too. answers of a different sort. answers about the self. religion lets us explore the world inside of us. an inward, possibly egocentric, realisation of the self. its does not tell us wad things are made up of. instead, its attempts to tell us why things are what they are. religion puts down phenomena to the doing of a greater being.

it is often argued that religion allows for a more emotional understanding of the self. why you're here, instead of how come you're here. in religion, everything has a purpose. in science, theories are carved out of essentialy, ideas. brainwaves. sometimes totally random things.

but all in all, science and religion share one common purpose. they are both man-created ways of understanding, of trying to understand and make meaning, and finally to discover the truth.

singing two steps too fast, do make me laugh

back from camp!!! weee!!

camp was pretty fun.

ok so how was the camp? it was ok lah... i mean, the activities and all were not bad, tho some i and prob many others have played before, so theres no kick in dat. not that it aint fun. there jus isnt dat kick. u noe.

i tink this camp allowed us not only to learn wadeva shit we did, but to also noe each other better. and i tink in some ways it did. its like, when we wilbur henry and mark were up at night tokin, we, ok no at least i, did find out smthn new about each person. in terms of perspective, mindset etc.

also, i tink the camp was fun, largely due to the kind of weird things dat happened. everything from muthus to 21 to the weird bridge games to wilbur removing the flush button. weird stuff dat really made me laugh out loud. its was like sooo funny...

and it seemed to me dat the girls from our class seemed to haf clicked kind of. i mean, at least like be one group. i mean, the guys in our class are generally, in my honest opinion, more united as compared to the girls. lets hope dat changes yea.

its a new school year.
new beginnings?
guess not.
but hopefully,
things will change,
people will see,
and everyone will understand.

as they search the night for someone to hold onto

ADVERTISMENT

uh, ok. theres this performance i'm gonna be involved in. its basically a chinese performance of ali baba. yea.

when: 10 - 12 of march (fri - sun. the start of march hols)
where: kallang theatre (near indoor stadium)
show times: fri - 8pm
sat - 8pm
sun - 4pm

ticket prices: $22, $18, $15 (i not sure i haf anymore discount tix. prob not :p)

uh, if u wanna go do tell me soon. cos they havent released tickets for sale to public yet. thus pple who book thru us ie the cast will get better seats lor. so yea do tell me b4 this comin sat. yea.

hope to see u there. someday.

high high oh so high

today i went to suntec to massdance and hence soak up the victorian spirit. and i remembered jus how great it feels.

--

victorian.

its about believing.

confidence. ability. excellence.

trust in all that we do.

order of the day: passion.

rest in joy and laughter.

ignition. fire.

action.

--

of brotherhood and love. victoria thy sons are we.

woohahahaha!!!

yay!! ok so i'm not really happy. i mean, its hard to be when ure wrist is bloody killing u... ugh. pain. and i realised smthn. acupuncture isnt dat bad lah. its jus...weird. esp when they start putting current through u. l was doin my wrist, so it felt lyk there was a heart beating in my hand. lol.

and another thing. i now noe wad its like to have ure hand chopped off. its bloody difficult doin things with only 4 fingers and a thumb. its a serious handicap... lol.

on a happier note, this whole blog entry was done on my pda. ^^ haha.

wft

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
juhrjeu43koi59tu85iot987yui85rueiaoq4897uuuuuuuuuut5j4sgues]
[matchbox 20 revival] cause i'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape says:
hfhydhyd

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
4t54utgrbf[

wft. what fuck the.

my name is...

i realise smthn. in alot of my dreams, there area always guns in it. like firearms guns. and i'm always bein shot at in some way or another.

so last night/this mornin i had another series of weird dreams. nuff said.

somebody saaaavveeeee meeeeeee....

christmas wishlist

ah yes xmas is here again!! like woohoo happiness!!

ok ok so i aint dat happy. hell if there werent smthn called presents i wouldnt be happy at all. but keepin in tradition of christmas, i shall thus create a wishlist. so.

dearest santa:
wattup santa. u noe, i've been a really good boy this year. yes i really have. look, i only failed my overall by 0.2%! and i passed half my eoy papers! and i only pissed about a few dozen people off this year... AND i only 2 huge arguments with my father. that just proves how good i've this year. i don really want to go into the minor details, such as me and my friends (last time dat is) causin a huge class riff.
so in light of all the good things i've done this year (no i did not donate to no beggars), could u pls give me the following for christmas? i want:
1. an electric guitar and amp
2. chelski to start losing (i noe i'm askin for quite alot here, but pls...)
3. man u to win everygame from now till the end of the season
4. england to win the damn world cup, and erikson to drop becks
5. a new pair of adidas shoes
6. franz ferdinand's newest album
7. john steven's red
8. a 80gb external hard drive. ok ok i'll settle for 40.
9. a xbox 360 (!!! pls pls pls)
10. a tonic that will ensure i pass my re-exams. come on santa i noe u got that hidden somewhere...

u see, jus 10 things. so pls santa, make my christmas a merry one. for once.

ps. to my frens: my bday is only 44 days away...

fight kill fight kill fight kill

pain...
yea my leg hurts like fuck now. jus now went bbq was barefooted for like mroe den 7 hrs lah... played soccer, bball, ran around... my leg jus hurts. bleh. and i ate like so little... wtf.

ok so i figured vanish O2 is plain crap. MY SHIRT IS STILL DIRTY!!!! like wtf?? the stains won bloody come off >.< ugh.

on a happier note, i havent done any holiday homework at all!! wee!!! ok ok i lie. i've read wutie abit of air-conditioned nation. yea, so i've done smthn. woohoo. and i also havent really studied for my re-papers. yayness. ok ok i lie again. i've revised chem except stoichiometry and acids and bases, and i've gone through the bio eoy paper. abit. haven really touched maths. i'm like sooo screwed...

ok so i resolve to spend the next wk REALLY studyin. i really cannot afford to fail. failin is bad. i repeat, FAILING IS BAD!!! UNDERSTOODED?!? good. so, i shall be online alot less, as i shall in some miraculous way find a way to distance myself from my laptop as much as possible.
--
wonderful now to more serious things.

i've been having alot of dreams lately. however, for the past 2 nites, i've had dreamless sleep!! yay!! (ok so i haf no idea why i'm happy or anythin. blah.) if u've read my dream theory (which doesnt make alot of sense i will admit), u'd noe dat... uh, i dunno. notin really. it's jus, i dunno. its strange dat for like a gazillion continuos nights i've been having weird dreams, and den suddenly i haf dreamless sleep. strange...

oh yes another thing. KOBE BRYANT IS TH3 MAST3R!!! wahaha. he's sick man... wtf he singehandedly outscored the mavs. dats plain sick.

oh yea and another thing. i read this article in today about ronaldinho bein named TODAY's sportsperson of the yr. u noe, the guy who wrote the article, dunno wads his name, i like his articles. he always writes these kind of articles, and i like readin them. cos they tell the truth, but in this very fictional way. as in he tells it like a story. i dunno. its..inspiring.

ok yea i'm bein totally incoherent here. wtf.

i'm waitin for this sky to fall,
i'm waitin for a sign.
and all we are,
is all so far.

one more day with you...

if you only knew

treasures the ones you have,
so that you wont have to live in regret.

i heard this somewhere.

forever?

i need you to show me the way from crazy.
i wanna be so much more than this.
no one would know,
us and the moonlight.

i always believed in futures.
the past is told by those who win.
what matters is what hasnt been.
believe your voice can mean something.

please keep in sight what makes you care.
you know time heals nothing by itself.
and if you were here with me tonight,
i'd sing to you just one last time.

it doesnt seem there's hope for me,
i let you down.
the world we love forever gone?

you'd be lucky to get out of life alive

memories.
looking back, we all do that.
recall, remember, regret.
we look into the past,
hoping to find answers,
when there are none.
we all have memories,
happy, sad, all kinds.
and i realise,
its not the sad ones that hurt.
its the happy ones.
times of joy, of laughter,
of fun.
all that now in the distant past.
and on looking back,
then u realise how much u miss those times,
how much u wish it could be dat way again.
and yet, it'll never happen.
things change, they always do,
and nothing we do can stop that.

everytime i look back,
back to the times we were all so innocent.
back to the times no one really cared.
back to the times i really had fun.
looking back, i really do miss those times.

why do the happiest memories hurt the most?
its cos u realise, they are gone.
forever.
theres no turnin back the clock.
theres no way to undo whats done.
and its then u realise how much those times mean to you.
happy memories,
they are the ones that you remember best,
but that also means they are the ones hardest to let go off.
and if you cant let go,
you cant really move on.
you get trapped in your past,
clinging on to things already gone.

then,
when you realise how its stoppin you,
then it hurts the most.

the dream theory

yes. so this is a strange weird theory i've come up with.

wad do dreams mean?
do they tell us things?
about others, about ourselves?
these are some questions i seek to answer.

dreams,
i believe they are the product of our subconciousness.
disclaimer: i haf done no research whatsoever.
i believe that dreams reveal what we really think.
well after interpretation.
as far as my own dreams go,
they are always...extreme situations.
my dreams, there are real people.
people i know,
yet in foreign situations.
scenarios that have no apparent relation.

take my dream last nite for example.
this is one of the few occasions i remember anything at all.
basically it started of with me and my family leaving my grandma's house.
well in reality she stays in tamp,
but in my dream i had no idea where the hell i was.
den i got onto a 31 (which does go to tamp).
den i dunno wad happens here.
oh yes, i was rushing to school.
when i arrive at sch, and i haf no idea how,
its not vjc.
its some weird place,
and i have a strange feelin i've seen/dreamt it before.
its a school, and there are 7 floors.
one floor for one level.
top floor for staff.
yes, it was a primary school.
kong hwa primary, judging by the uniform.
i run up to the top floor, and i see...
ms sharma, my sec 2 geog tr.
she gives pieces of paper,
with stuff on it i didnt comprehend,
and i don rmb wad the hell it was.
weird stuff.
and i look out of the window,
and in the neighbouring school i see...
dunmanians.

here i wake up.

ok so lets analyse this dream.
i went to kong hwa from p1-3.
significance? not sure.
my sis studies in dunman.
meaning? dunno.
ms sharma? uh, dunno.
my family? dunno.
pieces of paper with no meanin?

so wad does this all mean?
well, my dream was made up of fragments of my self.
so are dreams that?
unrelated fragments of our thoughts, our past, our selfs?

i tink in some part yes.
but there must be meaning somewhere.
there always is.

one thing i remembered from my dream.
acutally alot of dreams are as such.
i'm always running.
wad does that mean?
i'm not sure really.

someone, somewhere,
do enlighten me.

dreams are the manifestation of our subconcious mind,
they, i beleive, show us what we really think.
when your dream includes people you know,
i could possibly be showing you how you really feel towards them.

that is of course,
if you first can rmb anything.

--

i think i'm goin crazy.
help.

SOS

um, my template kinda disappeared. like woohoo. ok so i discovered this some time ago, but nvm.
leon?

so aniwae the song now is hear you me by jimmy eat world. damn nice song, but i suggest you don listen to it if ure feeling really down. lets just say it won help.

sigh. i don really believe it, but i shall start work and revision soon, soon bein like a few hours from now. what the hell.

is this how it ends?

is it?
must it?

you know i wish it werent this way.
i dont want it to end.
not ever.

but, i dont know.
am i giving up?
i dont even know.
i tell myself not to,
but things just dont seem that way.
as much as i dont want to admit it,
i guess it is true.
this could just be the end.

i really dont want to,
but if it really is for the best,
if there really is no other alternative,
then i guess i dont really have a choice.

holding each other's hands,
it only takes one to break away.

and well, you've got Him now.
more so then ever it appears.
and it seems this is where our differences lay.
in faith.
at the end of the day,
i guess you're right.
it will be for the best.
for you, maybe for me.

if you're reading this,
and i believe you are,
i'm sorry.
for your sake,
maybe it really is time for us to part ways.
you've got things to do,
a faith to believe in,
and i wont stand in your way.
i promise i wont mess it up.
yes, our lives are so different,
and i think we both need some time apart.
i've got thinking to be done,
re-papers to be faced,
and its probably best i do it alone.
you once said maybe you were too reliant on me.
i'm thinking, was i too reliant on you?
and i dont know.
i guess its also time for me to face this world on my own.
we promised never to say goodbye.
and i hope, maybe one day,
we can talk this over.
again.

i'm sorry.

love,
desmond.

please. i beg you.

i'm sorry. but why? i dont understand.

if this is really it, at least...

at least give me a conclusion.

deadpan

death is over-rated.










































































~to be continued~

please read this

hello everyone. i have a book reccommendation to make. At the present moment, i am currently reading a book titled Skeptics and True Believers: The Exhilarating Connection Between Science and Religion.

This book basically looks at the difference between science and religion, and how the two are related. It looks at people's general perception of science and religion, the progress of these two schools of thought throughout time, and how today's society is influenced by the forces that are science and religion.

I believe that everyone should read this book. This is for a variety of reasons:
1. It is very well written. The writer, Chet Raymo, writes pretty damn well.
2. Chet Raymo uses alot of statistical evidence to support his claims.
3. The book will give you more insights about science and religion, and their roles in today's society. Raymo analyses the various different aspects very thoroughly, to give a complete picture.
4. The book is written as objectively as possible. Raymo tells the reader at the beginning his stand, but also looks at the pther poinht-of-view.
5. The writer was a christian when young, hence he has experience with Christianity.

Nb. I think that especially Christians should read this book. I'm sure we all know my stand on religion and Christianity in particular, but this book gives you an objective take on very pertinent issues. Also, Raymo does not in any way put down or malign Christianity. He does not attack it, instead showing how Christianity is relevant in the past and now, just as science is. He does nto take a particular side fuly, instead putting forward the claim that without either facet, science or belief, the human mind isnt complete.

better than this

haiz.
its the holidays once again,
and i'm reminded once more,
why school was such a wonderful place.
reminded why i enjoyed myself so much.
reminded why i really do miss times in school.

the holidays.
yes its a break,
but is it really?
do we actually get a break?
i dont.
everyday is a bloody torture,
everynight bleeding painful.

someone tell me.
why is it that parents cant shut up?
why is it that parents never see the need to chat with friends?
why is it that using the computer for personal purposes is wrong?
why is it that listening to music is wrong?
how is it that a father can come home irritated, shout at everyone, and expects everyone to do exactly as he demands?
i seek answers,
answers that arent forthcoming.

its times like these,
when i realise just how much home means to me.
or doesnt.
everyday having to listen to the same old crap,
over and over again like a broken record,
its tiresome.
and i realise,
i dont really care about this family.
i really dont.
the value of family is lost to me.
whatever it stands for,
i no longer believe.
i've lost faith.
or rather my faith hsa been broken.

walking out is not an issue.
not now.
many might say i'm jus bein rebellious and shit,
but in all honesty,
i'm more than willing to leave.
if someone, somewhere,
could take me in,
or if i could somehow find a way of supporting myself,
i will leave.

we should plan for our future.
yes i agree.
but different people plan different things.
and i have some of my plans made.
i'm running away.
is it a short term solution?
yes.
is it a feasible solution?
i dunno.
but will i live to regret that decision?
no.

i guess yeah we must plan.
but dont over-plan.
well maybe its just me.
i don like the structure,
the need to fix things.
i'd rather take things as they come,
to live for the moment.
i want to enjoy my time.
to enjoys the times.
planning, it takes away that sweet sensation.
the exhilaration.

sweet emotion.
its not rock and roll.

ouch

ok i'm like having mental block, so cant really blog properly. so i shall jus be bloggin short reandom posts.

ok so like yesterday i went for cai pai, and den cos we damn free notin to do, so we took out cards and played. i learnt dat:
1. betting push-ups sucks. for me that is. i mean, when u play daidi and like haf to do 44, and ure as weak as me, it aint good.
2. playing poker nailbiting. what more with the kind of people we haf. i mean, its the kind of chiong pple who don worry about doin push-ups. like one round we bidded until 55 push-ups. ow. lucky i won dat one ^^
3. bballers are scary. like strong scary.
4. this is ideal for our performance, cos we're gonna be close to bare bodied. if we keep at this everyone's gonna haf a 6 pack by then...
5. it hurts. my arms are closeto dead now. i cant even swing them, nor can i carry anythin much...

zz dats it. i'm in pain. and bloody bored. this is so crappy. shall find somethin to blog about soon.

i just want you to know

another ripped quiz:

Are you currently grounded?
nope.

Do you snore?
i've been told...

Are you a lover or a fighter?
both ^^

What's your worst fear?
failure prob.

As a kid, were you a lego maniac?
yep. still haf ALOT of lego at home.

What do you think of 'reality' TV?
boring nowadays. and largely fake. ROCKSTAR IXNS IS THE BEST REALITY SHOW EVER!!!!!!

Do you chew on your straws?
dunno. sometimes.

Were you a cute baby?
yes.

Is single life for you?
hopefully not.

What colour is your keyboard?
black.

Is Barbie sexy?
nope. her boobs are too big, her legs too thin, head too empty and has no cunt.

Do you sing in the shower?
sometimes.

Have you gone bungee jumping?
nope. but i really want to.

Do you have any special talents?
erm, dunno. its relative. the talent to irritate people?

What is your ideal vacation spot?
many actually. england, new york, paris, canada, portugal

Can you swim?
yeah.

Are you a virgin?
yeah.

Do you care about the ozone?
no.

How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop?
i dunno. 1. wad the fuck is a tootsie pop? 2. why the hell do i want to get to the centre of ir? 3. must i lick it? i'd rather suck...

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
doubt it.

Have you ever been on an airplane?
yeah. its nice.

Are you an only child?
no.

Do you prefer mechanical or electrical pencil sharpeners?
i use a mechanical pencil.

What's your stand on hunting?
hunt all the hell u like ^^

Is marriage in your future?
dunno.

Do you love your handwriting?
nope.

What are you allergic to?
dust mites.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
never happened. i tink.

Do you cry at weddings?
nope.

How do you like your eggs?
fried.

Are blondes dumb?
depends. the prettier ones usually are.

Where does the other sock usually end up?
on my foot.

What time is it?
dunno. oh yes 10.26.

Do you have a nickname?
yah. many in fact. progressed over time.

Is MacDonald's disgusting?
no. but the food is kinda boring and lousy.

Who's your hero?
myself.

Are you in love?
head over heels. (goes and check tagboard)

When was the last time you were in a car?
jus now. on my way back home.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
don care.

Is Santa Claus real?
yah. santa claus = me.

Do you like having your neck kissed?
dunno. never had it happened. although i tink i mite :P

Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes.

What are you addicted to?
sugar, music, sports, football, myself, food, sleep, my guitar.

Crunchy peanut butter or regular?
not a big fan of peanut butter.

Can you crack your neck?
yah.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
nah.

How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
once.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
yes. very much so.

What colour are your eyes?
i dunno. brown -> black.

How loud do you sneeze?
depends. sometimes loud sometimes soft.

Do you like your life?
YES!!!

Do you play any musical instruments?
piano, guitar (kind of), dats about it. but i can pick up stuff relatively fast ^^

Can you skateboard?
yes, but badly.

Have you ever stolen anything?
yep. 7-11 is too easy.

Do you like camping?
yeah. it is fun.

Are you horny?
depends. if i feel like it i could do it. the gel i'm using now is this weird nivea one which is pretty strong. and i still haf clay. i now to go get wax and spray. >.>

Do you snort when you laugh?
uh, doubt it.

Are dogs man's best friends?
nah. girls are man's best friends.

Do you believe in divorce?
not sure.

What's on your mousepad?
i don haf a mousepad. or when i do its like my guitar pick or smthn.

Can you do the moonwalk?
sadly not.

Are you a racist?
kind of. like i don particularly dislike any race, but i do laugh at them. for fun.

Do you make a lot of mistakes?
yes.

Is it cold outside?
dunno. my aircon is on...

only one

things i really need to start doing:
1. taking more photos. i seriously need to start getting more photos. my collection now is rather sad.
2. read the bible. i'm at exodus >.<
3. hit the gym and go running.
4. read. in general. i wanna get some non-fic books to read, in addition to the usual fiction.
5. get an amp to play the elec i borrowed from daniel. i seriously need to start palying my guitar. well.
6. write.
7. write.
8. write.
9. my webfolio. possibly.
10. shop. i'm deprived.

heres to the night

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not. - George Bernard Shaw

He looked out of the window, watched as the rain fell down onto the earth. Watch, as the heavens opened up, looked up to see but a bird flying in the sky. He stared long and hard. It was an eagle, gliding through the clouds that lined the horizon. The rain fell steadily, yet the eagle kept flying. airborne for the endless depths of time.

Everytime he looked, his life was in shambles. It had been this way for as long as he could remember. He had fallen so hard, so many times already. How was he to get up?

He walks in the rain, hoping it will all come true one day. He dreams.

--

a man without dreams is like a bird without wings. without dreams, a person cannot fly, a person cannot soar. without dreams, everyday is but anyday.

we must dream. dreams makes us more than who we are. it allows us to become the person we want to be. it elevates us to that special place, the place where truly nothing is impossible. dreams allow us to make things happen. dreams let us accomplish things we never thought we could do.

my father always tells me, dreams are nothing. they will get you nowhere. the reality is that the world is out to get you. and to this i say, you're wrong. yes the reality is that the world throws shit at you. but if you do not dream, if u restrict yourself from doing so, then you are but stopping yourself from going higher, from goin further.

dreams fuel the human spirit. it is that that makes us tick. as much as it is cliched, it is true. dreams do come true. granted msot wont, but if you give up now, will they ever come true?

--

Candles we all hold,
Aid the very sorrow we dont know.
Rain we all will fall,
Raw is the skin he wears.
Yearn for sweet beginnings,
My life to make it seem.
Young is that heart that burns,
Lost is the hope he was made to earn,
Over the rainbows he wants to walk.
Vain are the ones who saw this life,
Earnest are the souls who truly have gone.

Living for the times we both will share.
Long for the love we cannot bear.

in the end

tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesnt even matter.

i'm running through my problems again,
they keep crawling right on under my skin

if i think like you think,
it dont make my load much lighter.

i figured out what you're all about and i dont think i like what i see.
so i hope i won be there in the end when you come around.

love doesnt have to hurt

what is frenship? the term is commonly thrown around, but do we actually noe wad fens really are? to different people, friendship means different things. and to me, friends are very important.

friendship to me, is a commitment. or rather it must be a commitment. friends must be willing to sacrifice for each other. the saying "friends in need is a friend indeed". i tink dats wrong. a friend should be there, regardless whether you are in need or not. u must be willing to go the distance.

yet, i still believe friendship is a giving relationship. give, and hopefully get back some returns. one should not expect anything from the other party. be willing to always give, and in due time, you will be rewarded.

for true friendship to hold true, the simple element of trust is all important. it is the thing that seperates normal friends from the ones that truly matter. it is the defining factor of a working relationship. not just must you trust the other party, you must be able to place your trust in the value of the relationship itself. to be able to trust, and thus to know, that the bond between two people will ultimately transcend all petty issues. belief that it will hold strong. sounds impossible, but it can be done.

in any relationship, there are always problems. its inevitable. i have seen frienships degenerate, just because one or both parties weren't willing to give in. its of course easier said than done, but it can be done. even if it takes weeks of silence, it can, and will still work.

how quickly will you give up? how badly do you want that person? your answer will tell you jsut how much that person means to you. if he or she really means something to you, you won't ever give up. i believe in this. true friends must believe in one another. the cant just trust that the other party will act in a particular way. they must know it. they must make sure of it.

do u remember the time, back in primary school, where you told your best friend "friends forever"? i'm sure you've heard the phrase countless times, yet is it possible? i think it is, but you must be very clear how dear that person is to you. don't make empty promises. and it could work. it just could.

friendship hurts. it always does. which is why it should not be taken lightly. i believe a person is made by his or her friends, so be sure you pick the right people to surround youreslf with. it will sustain you or fuck you up real bad. nowadays, i think kids like us take friendship too lightly. we realise how important it is, how crucial it is in our lives, yet i'm not sure we're doing anything about it.

real friends must be willing to face the problems head on. one must not cower, must not run away from the problems. because it will ultimately cost each other each other. a lack of communication is key to breaking up two people. so we must be willing to talk. resolve issues as quickly as possible. yes give each other time, some space to think, and when that is done solve the problem.

i guess for me, themost important part of a true friendship is that both parties must put in the utmost effort for it to work. to do the above and more. to do everything within your capacity to understand the other, and to let the other understand you. its a gamble we have to take, lowering our walls, exposing the fragile inside. its a gamble that may pay off, if one puts in the effort. its hard work, i must admit.

true friendship. it asks for so much more than just a normal bf-gf relationship. and its so much better.

its hard to find someone like that, but if and when you do, its special aint it?

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. - aristotle

whats cooler than being cool? ice cold!!

i don understand why pple are so worked up over their marks. come on. stress ureself once over the exams, why stress ureself after them?? wads the point? jus accept what you got with a smile, laugh about it, (i find my chem marks or lackthereof very amusing), and get on with it. the fun that is.

note: grace chua is a horrible and lame dj. guy tells her its a gd day and asks for daniel fucking powter. grace chua: "its a gd day why are u asking for a song called bad day? -laugh laugh-" like >.<

so back to point. i tink pple are somewhat over-reacting to the whole exams thing. i dunno. maybe i'm jus under-reacting, not caring enough blah blah blah. hus to say? at least i'm all smiley and happy.

on another note, i jus had to major arguments with my dad in two days. yes. on sunday i almost walked out of the hse. almost. i was halfway through packing my staff when the whole family was forced into my room to "settle the issues". and well we jus argued. i was losing/lost my temper at my dad. we were really shouting at each other. oh well, too bad i didnt get to get the fuck out of this place.

its good to know there are pple there for you.
its nice to know pple stilll do care.
i'm thankful that there is someone to fall back on.
we plan to run away when we grow up.
its sounds like what two small kids will say,
but its the truth.
i plan to run,
and at least i know u'll run away with me.

it'll be you and me

i shall rip this thingy off wilbur's blog.

10 YEARS AGO I:
was 5.
was botak.
was short.
was in a christian kindergarden (ie church).
learnt how to play football.
was at my babysitters.

5 YEARS AGO I:
was 10.
was in tao nan.
was kinda crazy.
got into ALOT of trouble.

2 YEARS AGO I:
was in vs.
was still short.
stole from 7-11.
fought with yb.
got into alot of trouble again.
fucked up my eoys.
sat through a lesson by mr koh on "fuck".

1 YEAR AGO I:
had possibly the best year of my life.
started liking pink.
stopped stealing.
started disliking religion.
learnt that i haf horrible memory.
began talking to sher regularly.

YESTERDAY I:
played badminton.
played lan.
fucked up my arm real bad.
stayed up to watch the eng-poland match.

TOMOROW I WILL:
go to school for fucking j2 farewell assembly.
prepare for openhouse.
go out. hopefully.
chiong cs.

3 PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
england. london or manchester.
usa. new york, la, florida.
brazil.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
prove the non-existance of god.
travel the world.
earn lots of money.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF :
coolheadedness.
my ego.
ability to pick up anythin with relative ease.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF :
weak.
low eq.
inability to trust people, bar one.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
fire.
loss.
failure.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
wakeboarding.
playing bass.
working a job.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
i am partly peranakan.
i hate god.
i've played cs less then 5 times in my life.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
get an amp.
master palying the guitar.
borrow cs form jared so i can play.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
journalist.
entrepeuner.
physcologist.

i can see clearly now

yay the exams are over. whoopee...

so.

these are the things i want/need to get, in no order:
1. an elec guit + amp
2. new shoe (canvas, maybe adidas)
3. new shirts
4. a ball pump
5. new picks
6. strings 4 my acoustic
7. bball shorts
8. boardshort or 2
9. a new bag
10. wax, hair spray
11. new pair of specs with tinted lens
12. contacts

things i want to/will do during the hols:
1. cut my hair (read murder)
2. dye my cutted hair
3. work on my guitar playing
4. get a job
5. shop like hell
6. get together with (ex)tuition mateys
7. play soccer alot
8. play bball some
9. watch movies, the more the merrier
10. change my plan (oct 22 actually)
11. blog more
12. hit the gym
13. go jogging
14. crash pple's hse
15. stay overs (?)
16. go cycling
17. re-learn to wear contacts

hm i'm having writers block. kind of. actually more like bloggers block.
fuck.

XXX

ok everybody. i'm now a pornstar. yay.

etuare

austria cheated.
they fielded a non-austrian player.
Andreas Ibertsberger wasnt austrian.
he was fucking french.

jus look at the way he reacted for both challenges by becks.
come on ever sonce that asshole left man u i loss all respect for him.
but yesterday he didnt deserve to be sent off.
i mean, the first challenge:
he went for the header,
stuck out his arm for leverage,
got very little contact.
wad that french bastard do?
crumple to the floor like he's been owned by a roy keane tackle.
come on. its becks.
he couldnt tackle so hard to save his life.
wimp.
so yes yellow crad, tho it mite haf been for smthn he said afterwards.
no matter.

second challenge.
i was thoroughly shocked.
becks didnt even make a tackle.
he pulled back from goin all in jus in time.
trailing leg clips the fucking french asshole.
wad he do this time?
the french way,
he falls like he's jus been crunched from behind.
flailing arms,
loud scream,
body snapping back,
falling and tumbling on the ground in exuberent fashion.
isnt that just so typically french.
and i tell u,
it is one of the better dives i've seen.
notin beats the viera one,
but this is close.
the yellowcard was so unwarranted.
ref can kiss my ass. bullshit.

so austria cheated.
fifa should do smthn...

open your eyes

sigh. i cant get over her. hm. its strange. considering i saw her for wad 15 mins?

someone help me.

what the hell??

yay. i failed maths. honestly. i rule.

so, i'm bored as hell and cant give a shit about the papers tomorrow.

wonderful.

the shit playing on 987 totally blows.

fuck it.

wad the hell am i doing?

ok i guess this is really random.

sigh.

ok ok i noe.

i shall make song/artist recommendations.

everyone should listen to this kind of shit.

1. anything marty casey. i highly recommend trees, everlong, wish u were here, creep and mr brightside. and baby one more time.

2. sugar we're goin down. woot.

3. anything creed. mp3 only. do not, i repeat DO NOT watch any of their vids or look at pictures of the band.

4. everlong. original and acoustic.

5. bohemian rhapsody. queen, suzie mcneill, elton john & guns n roses. ONLY.

6. journey.

7. chicago.

8. my chemical romance. helena and i'm not ok. and if u can all the rest.

9. good charlotte ^^ special mention for riot girl. plus the normal selection.

10. scars. original and acoustic. papa roach.

11. alterbridge. open your eyes, down to my last, broken wings. and the reat if u can.

12. air supply.

13. swing swing. all american rejects. by far their best song.

14. i am the walrus. the beatles. its just plain funny shit.

15. freestyler. bomfunk mc.

16. boyzone. great songs.

17. unconditional. the bravery.

18. busted. !!.

19. jimmy gets high. daniel powter.

20. save tonight. orignal and acoustic. eagle eye cherry.

21. hotel california. eagles. plain classic.

22. eric clapton. u noe the songs. i hope.

23. doa. big me. foo fighters.

24. wake me up when september ends. greenday.

25. smoke on the water. metallica version.

26. november rain. guns n roses.

27. i predict a riot. kaiser chiefs.

28. photograph. nickleback.

29. somewhere out there. our lady peace.

30. pieces. sum 41.

31. under pressure. my chemical romance and the used.

32. velvet revolver.

33. westlife.

yeah. dats all i can tink of.

now for shit u must NEVER listen to.

1. britney.

2. jessica.

3. ashley.

4. hillary. nb i now somewhat detest joe madden.

5. avril.

6. james blunt.

7. travis.

8. jd fucktune.

9. pussycat dolls. look don listen.

10. s club anything.

11. rem.

12. gwen stefani.

13. keane.

14. jesse mcfuckney.

15. jay chou.

16. the reason. if u've heard it more than 50 times. limit air time of this song to once a month.

17. boulevard of broken shit. i mean songs. its sad...

18. holiday. greenday.

19. goldfrapp.

20. madonna.

21. lindsay.

22. G4. they suck balls.

23. dido. ew. i can only rmb it as dildo minus the l. >.<

24. destiny's child.

25. craid david.

26. bep. jus keep lookin at fergie.

27. barenaked ladies. they are pretty much crap.

28. a1.

29. 50 cent. he's, uhm, borin.

yes that will be it.

now u noe wad to and not to listen to.

enlightenment.

my dreem guitar - BIlly Martin SE

lose yourself

i am kinda screwed. the bio paper is 9 hrs 45 mins away and i havent done any revision today. AND i'm pretty sure i've forgotten everything i haf already studied >.< sigh.

oh yes my guitar string snapped!! the high e string. i took out the rest. now theres one less distraction. one down, many many to go... sigh.

wad the fuck am i doin?? fuck. i shld be studyin bio, the subject i can go suck cock with. its like, wad the hell. i'm so fucking screwed. ugh. couple that with falling asleep in class. best.

i rule.

girl on the mrt

sigh. i'm really sad.

ok so i shall start from the beginning. i was on my way back from toa payoh, after my cai pai. it was 6+, on the 1 of oct. i stepped into cabin 18 (accordin to toa payoh numbering). i then walked over and leaned against the pole right at the centre. picture this. u walk in. turn right. the seat on your left in front of you, nearest to the door. there.

there she sat.

and damn was she pretty.

ok i've said this many times actually. she isnt wad you'd conventionally call pretty/chio/hot. i dunno. maybe and probably its jus me. point is she struck me, kind of. and its like, i was wearing a cap, blasting my ipod in my ear. irrelevant facts actually. point is, she jus sat there, playing with her phone (i seriously don tink she smsed).

so she was roughly our age, give or take one year. not very tall, judging from her sitting height ie how tall she was sitting down. she was wearing a apir of adidas (!!) shoes with pink (!!) stripes. yellow socks. short brownish skirt, the pleated kind if dats wad its called. she as wearing a black top, with like a jacket thing on top. i cant really rmb wad the jacket thing looked like, except that it covered her arms till abit past her elbows. she had on this pair of really cool/nice specs. it was the half frame kind, maroon-brown, moderate thickness. and she had her hair tied back in a ponytail. i guess her hair is about shoulder length, maybe abit longer.

she was relatively slim, not anorexic. she had damn fine arms and legs. nice tan, proportionate. she had rather nice hands. if i rmb correctly, she had pretty lips. rather small, not poutish but not too straight either. and she had ncie eyes. yes. judging from what i could see at least. and she had a nice bag too. brown-grey, with some pattern on it which i tink is pretty nice. and it was a shoulder bag ^^.

so.

what now?

when you haf an exam tomorrow but don really give a fuck

as u can tell by the title, i am very much wasting time. which is good. ok. i shall rip the thingy of wilbur's blog. haha. its...interesting.

The rules:
1. Write something about people you know.
2. You CANNOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks which is about them, you CANNOT tell. This also applies to people asking about who other people are.
4. Some may be a bit the obvious (that's the idea), but don't try to guess less you get it wrong.
5. The good thing is, you all may take whichever one you think refers to you, and post it on your blogs, but i won't tell you whether you're correct or wrong.
6. Clue: None.
7. You cannot ask me anything I don't want to answer.

ok here goes.

1. where do i start? we go back quite a long way. its been almost 5 yrs now. haiz. the times, the times... you've been a great friend, and i know you always will be. so many promises haf been made. lets jus hope we will follow through on them. smile yeah? and pls do take care...

2. yo bro. wattup? haha. oh well wad can i say? 1. you're gay. 2. you're a bleedin fag 3. you're a pal. i tink. we've had alot of fun times. memorable really. and i hope it'll be this good forever. (yay i'm quoting everlong. lol) brush up on ure guit and we can go jam! and honestly, jd sucks core.

3. hi tai tai. i haf to say you are fast. not like runnin or anythin (duh) but u noe... go through..stuff fast. haha. maybe its true. u do wan to beat your sis? maybe, jus maybe.

4. hm. fire boy. hows things? esp with, u noe... one month? we'll see... haha. u noe, having u around is useful. we could use u for "stuff". haha. i dunno wad to say. you shld maybe be less gay with ure boyfriend? and be more accepting of "her"? haha.

5. yo black. (and here i haf to admit wilbur's one was motherfuckin hilarious) wattup man. you shld be mroe open u noe. i mean, come on no one goes through a yr, at this age summore, and can say you never liked anyone rite? haha. and don let ureself be bullied so much eh. yeah.

6. hm. mr don give a fuck. interesting person u are. come on man. some things call for commitment. don last minute always pang seh can... ugh. and u owe me a guit. and a jammin session.

7. its kinda strange. we can actually talk now. but i must say you've changed alot since the start of the year. and for the better too. maybe dats why he... uh nvm. lets not go there shall we? haha. but yeah. its a good thing i guess. although it'll be alot better if u'd stop usin markers so much >.<

8. hm. i personally feel dat you're fine to talk to. however, there is a serious problem, where around certain people, and i shant say who, you become someone else almost. its really like two different peoples. or maybe they jus bring out the other side in you. which is not good. and don live in denial.

9. hm. the above very much applies also. you two are very much alike in that way. but you. man... work a little bit harder, and you won haf to worry so much. and control ureself.

10. sigh. you're so different from the guy i knew last year. good? bad? i would hardly know. we don really tok now, but i wish you all the best. and with her too!

11. its strange. i'm actually kinda surprised you havent jus put this all behind you. i mean, wads the point of asking for forgiveness? does it really matter? we both haf more impt things to deal with. i know. i wont ask you to change, jus as much as you wont ask me to. keep it like that. theres no need for anything more.

12. ok i shall cheat abit. hey you two!! haha. thanks alot for the bible. its very much appreciated. and i understand your desire for me to see as you do. but sorry to say i'm still very much a non-believer. now at least. will it change? who knows? haha. thanks alot again.

13. bitches never do come harder den you do they?

14. the kind of relatioship we have is really strange. its maybe again the issue of the environment. and for you its drastic. but with them aside, hell its fun. don keep dwelling on the past yeah? things here arent really that bad u noe...

today is a good day

is nice jus an excuse?
i dunno.
maybe people say that so they don have to explain.
or maybe they don want to face it.
come on...
i seriously doubt jus cos a perosn is nice is reason enough to like him/her.
there must be other reasons.
haha.
i'm confused.

dont you worry.
i'll be back for you.
it'll only be a matter of time.
cos i'm out to get you.
muhaha.
so is she pretty (nice)?

roflmfao

arrogant selfish brat.
how lovely.

one day,
just waiting for that time.
and when it comes,
i couldnt be any happier.
its lovely,
to must see you again.
lovelier,
if i do never wake up.

on the road of self-rediscovery

"what is my biggest flaw?"

those who wish/have an answer to the above question, pls email me at desmondchan11@hotmail.com. i'd be very glad to hear from. thank you. and yes even if u don like me, i would actually really like to hear from you.

talkin to her on the phone

i hate secrets.
really.
but i have so many.
and i know quite a fair bit too...

ugh.

the thing about secrets,
it binds you.
it controls you.
it gives others power over you.
control.
and i hate that.
u can say i'm ego or wad,
but i've never been the most sharing person in the world, bar one.
but that has changed alot.

and i really thinks its takin too much.
i've made my first step.
lets see if i can keep it up.
or not.

how i wish, wish you were here...

times like these

watching people is very fun.
ok so i come up with crazy thoughts,
but dont we all?
thats where the fun is isnt it?
and come on.
if u noe the truth,
nothing others say will change it.
(and no i shant go on about how the pomo man believes there is no truth etc).

haf fun while you can.

nb. people should stop living in denial.

music, makes the people, come together..

i realise that there are always song that reflect exactly how u feel.

Broken Wings - Alter Bridge

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
in our souls
Leave the peace alone
Now we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold are always first to go
And who's to say we won't end up alone

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
in the same place with all I love
Mend the broken homes
Care for them
they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give will always carry you
And who's to say we won't survive it too

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

Set a free all
Relying on their will
to make me all that I am
and all that I'll be
Set a free all
Will fall between the cracks
with memories of all that I am
and all that I'll be

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

all i ever wanted

i like lessons.
any lesson.
cos at least there is some peace.
i need to read my bible in peace.
and no i'm NOT converting.

nb. people should learn to shut up.

crumbling empire of infatuation

i turn around,
upside down,
turna turna turna turna turn around.
but all that i can see,
is just a lemon tree...

words of wisdom indeed.
for thats wad its like now.
and how it shall be.

find peace.
that is my objective,
one of my greatest desires.
nah i don give a fuck about wad nobel peace prize or what shit.
fuck world peace.
i don care.
i'm looking for something else.
my peace.
selfish? maybe.
self-centred? yes. 100%.
why?
cos its my life,
its my resposibility,
for my actions determine who i am,
and who i become.
and one of the most important things to me,
is the ability to find peace.
withint myself.
and yet its so hard.

finding peace.
maybe dats wad yoga is for.
but is it really about meditation?
of course not.
"peace. its does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart." -unknown
those words can be no truer.
and my failure no bigger.
that is my goal.
to find the calm within,
and sadly, its not happening.

its a dangerous little game we all play.
with each other.
especially in the 2 years in vs,
i've seen quite abit of shit.
tolerence issues,
conflicts of every kind,
and i've learnt one thing.
if one is to find peace,
one must know turmoil.
one must face the problems.
and only then can one find true calm.

den i qn myself.
haf i done that?
face up to my problems,
tackle my issues head on.
have i?
i'm not sure.
i cant say i havent,
btu then again i cant really say i am.
its like climbing a wall.
i'm climbing,
yet i don noe if i want to go over.

its really doesnt help with the kind of people i have around.
really.
after awhile it gets frustrating.
i'm beyond irritation.
its part of me now (sadly. an issue i have to address).
its a whole new level.
well kind of.
considering things don change,
how its the same thing repeated over and over again.
much like a broken record.
nb: is it me or am i surrounded by broken records? maybe i've walked into the wrong shop.
i'm sicked of it.
and sadly its always the same fuckin people.
the same fucking table.
the same fucking voices,
saying the same fucking things.
the best part is,
what they say,
its all meaningless banter.
"oh my god!!"
"really??"
"goodness!"
"hurhurhurhurhur"
"aiyaaaa..."
"don liiidaaat laaahhh..."
"you're so fat."
"you're ugly"
words that have absolutely no meaning at all.

well my point is that all these is really wearing down the patience i've tried so hard to build over the years.
i know my limits.
and i know they werent as they were last year.
maybe its the people.
or the school.
i dont know.
i'm not trying to make excuses,
cos i know alot of it eventually boils down to me.
i'm living in a past.
or actually i'm trying to recreate the past.
trying to find what i found,
even though i know its already all gone.
things here arent the same.
people are immensely different.
you get a whole new spectrum of things.
pms, bgr, scandals etc...
i tink its hard to say i've not moved on,
but i guess i have yet to let go.
yet to allow the past to be my past.
as much as i try to make it my present,
i know it won't happen.

i guess one leads to another.
to find the peace i so desire,
i must learn to let go.
well actually its more like learn to accept,
that it won be like before.
it cannot be.
i cannot be.
for things have changed me.
i've become a much different person than before.
much.

i have to clarify.
its not that i don find peace.
i'm not some turmoil filled angst machine or anything.
its jus dat i've realised that in sch,
it harder and harder for me to keep myself in one state of mind.
the numbed one.
the one that advocates violence,
in al its manifestations,
i've tried my hardest to supress.
i really have to be thankful that i'm not really alone.
for i tink i'd probrably go mad.
its very comforting to know there can and will be someone there for you.
someone you can turn to in need.
for that's usually what pushed a person forward,
instead of over the ledge.

calm in my heart.
its difficult.
bloody well so.
but nonetheless,
its must be done.

ever felt lonely?

cos i'm in too deep, and i'm trying to keep, up above in my head, instead of going under

hm. swamps are pretty fun. ok scratch dat. VERY fun. yeah. i'm not joking one bit. today we were suppose to do some coastal clean up at sungei buloh, but it turned out to be a mud party ^^. ewll for us vipers aniwae. which is why i say we rule. i mean, i could only imagine if any of the j1s had gotten as dirty as say subra of olivia. they'd freak out. i mean, they are really hopeless. and accordin to marjorie, one j1 girl said that the were "smarter cos they kenw where to step, hence they did not get dirty". well dats true. it doesnt really matter where u step, as u don really sink in sand. normal sand. with mud its a different story altogether.

hm. j1s are wimpy. subra is wimpy. daniel ho is wimpy. well dats the truth. like what the fuck ure already dirty. does it really matter how dirty u get? i tink wilbur would make a good adventure partner. maybe one day i'll climb mount something with him. yeah. but back to the wimps. j1s are jus plain hopeless. they are too afraid to get dirty, and claim to be smarter than us cos they won be dirty. wads their agenda? cip never is about cip. well involvement yes. but its mainly about having fun. rolling around in mud is fun. subra is a scaredy cat. afraind to get dirty (the irony). lol. and daniel is a plain wuss. i would bet my life on it that we wouldnt haf dared to even touch the mud. (sidenote: when i was washing my shoes jus now i found some mud still in its exact condition. thought about keeping it, then decided against it.) so aniwae, he didnt turn up, cos he's prob (and almost defnitely) too afraid to get his precious little (touching) hands dirty, to scared to be a man maybe? oh no i forgot. his hands are for a different purpose. dirty, but defintiely not muddy. lmao.

hm. playing in mud is fun. even though rolling around with (and like) the worms in there can be abit freaky, its still fun. and walking in mud is WAY cool. the sensation is really unique. like suction baby... the feeling of ure foot goin in and out of ure shoe when u try to extract ure leg is, erm, sensual to say the least?

hm. diane lost a shoe. roflmfao. well its not funny but it doesnt fail to ammuse the careless stranger. and diane does weird things. like asking guy(s) to play with her, admitting to liking nuts, wanting to cut jus cos her shoe got stuck in mud (must be depression) and getting her clean shirt dirty. smart girl she is.

hm. being hosed down by ms toh is jus so wrong. must take special care to ensure u come out the same person (read gender) u were. protection is key here. ms toh is perverted in the head. seriously.

hm. the whole experience was really cool, since the last time i actually walked on/in mud was like 3-4 yrs ago. and i definitely want to do it again. although i'll prob wear my fbts or smthn. and an ugly shirt. maybe i'll find a chelsea jersey. hm.

hm. pity the wimps werent there. well wimps/bimbos. u noe. the like. people like beatrice, yx, amanda, cheryl, audrey. lol. it would haf been bloody amusing. watching them whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine... u get the idea. it would really be funny. not forgetting those from the other classes >.< imagine:
bimbo 1: "oh my god! we're suppose to go into that?? -squeels-"
bimbo 2: "-shriek- so dirty and disgusting!.."
bimbo 3: "yarh..."
me: -rolls eyes-
bimbo 4: "eeyugh... hmph i'm not goin ANYWHERE near that."
toh: "oi all of u! what are u all doin? standing there like a bunch of taitais."
bimbo 5: "but miisss tohhh..."
bimbo 1: "i am SO not goona dirty myself."
me: -rolls eyes-
wilbur: -laughs-
bimbo 2: "wad lah."
bimbo 3: -crosses arms and refuses to go anywhere near the swamp-
bimbo 5: "i noe!! lets jus pick up all the stuff here. den don haf to touch the mud."
bimbo 4: "eeyugh u mean we must touch all this stuff? so diirrtyy..."
me: (to them and subra)"wa lau don be a cheebye and jus go in lah."
subra: "shit up/fuck u."
imagine. (note: this has been re-recreated cos somehow it got deleted o.0 wtf.)

hm. i realise i jus began all my paragraphs with hm. hm. interesting.

hm (wtf). the coastal cleanup thingy was hence fun, minus all the irritating noises. we haf a plan. muahahaha.

propaganda

great songs dat everyone should listen to:

1. trees, marty casey
2. everlong, marty casey/foo fighters
3. photograph, nickleback
4. here by me, 3 doors down
5. helena, my chemical romance
6. home in me, mig ayesa
7. wish you were here, marty casey/pink floyd
8. bohemian rhapsody, suzie mcneill
9. live and let die, any of the numerous covers
10. suspicious minds, JD fortune
11. dead on arrival, fall out boy
12. sugar, we're goin down, fall out boy
13. mr brightside, the killers/marty casey (i strongly reccommend the former)
14. leader of men, nickleback
15. be my escape, reliant k
16. right here, staind
17. it's been awhile, staind
18. sweetness, jimmy eat world
19. knocking on heaven's door, there are jus too many
20. down to my last, alterbridge
21. somewhere out there, our lady peace
22. bittersweet symphony, the verve/oasis
23. another brick in the wall, pink floyd
24. listen to your heart, DHT
25. jimmy gets high, daniel powter
26. make up your mind, theory of a dead man
27. hello lonely, theory of a dead man
28. suteki da ne, ffx (i tink the composer is nobuo umatsu)
29. middle of nowhere, hot hot heat
30. jouney songs
31. making love out of nothing at all, air supply
32. all out of love, air supply
33. 98 degrees songs
34. hard to beat, hard fi
35. boys of summer, the ataris
36. be yourself, audioslave
37. like a stone, audioslave (audioslave luvs the wa-wa peddal)
38. ALL backstreet boys songs
39. ALL westlife songs minus the jazz
40. stay together for the kids, blink 182
41. living on a prayer, bon jovi
42. bowling for soup (you cant really go wrong)
43. meant to live, switchfoot
44. dare you to move, switchfoot
45. beautiful letdown, switchfoot
46. u2 (again u cant really go wrong. although i never liked vertigo much)
47. velvet revolver (u mite go abit death, but nonetheless...)
48. forever, vertical horizon
49. you're a god, vertical horizon
50. blue orchid, the white stripes

anone who wants any of these songs (and are too wimpy to download it yourself), or haf any reccommendations fro good songs, pls drop me an email. haha. down with piracy!!!

knot tied tight to last forever

extreme boredom + good music -> extreme music + good boredom

eh the above equation sucks core.
wadeva.

i tink i'm goin crazy.

i haf marty's trees on repeat. >.< i tink i've listened to it about 20 times already.

this is stupid. but wad the fuck the song rules!

fanboyism

Trees - Marty casey

i, don't wanna go through this life,
without you, by my side.
and i, have got it all worked out
in my head, here's how it's got to be.

it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.

we, we make believe,
in a world we rule together.
we,can build our dreams,
with a know tied tight to last forever.

it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.
it'll be you and i,
up in the sky,
it's a combination for disaster.

yeah yeah yeah... yeah yeah yeah...
we got one shot,
so what are we gonna do.
it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.
it'll be you and i,
up in the sky,
it's a combination for disaster.

and i know there's more for us in this life...

this song owns all. 

sing it! i love rock and roll...

It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best. - E.R. Bulwer-Lytton

are we but living in the past?
move on, only to realise you really are standing still.
you seek trust, but do you give any?
you want respect, but do you give any?
much as this world is about give and take,
whos giving, and whos not taking?
jus how often do we ask ourselves this?
its so comfortable for all of us,
such that we forget,
the fact that the world is much bigger.
even as the world gets smaller,
with technological advances and the likes,
i cant help but feel,
its fucking ironic,
that though the distance between new york and singapore is getting much smaller,
the gulf between two people,
standing side by side,
is increasing by the day.

friendship seems so far away now.

this isnt about anyone in particular,
but if u tink i'm referring to you,
good.

like some punk ass kid sitting in front of the tv, then migrating to the laptop, wastin time typin crap, listenin to music and running out of space...

i'm bored. what can i say?

little boys and virgin girls

since the issue is bein discussed on my tag board, i shall give my view.

pretentious: Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified. (dictionary.com)

are the people in the vip pretentious? yes. without any doubt at all, positively yes. vipers are pretentious. however, i realise the word has many negative conotations, and in many circumstances varying definitions.

vipers are pretentious. no doubt. but their ways are largely different. there are a few kinds, revolving around different factors.

the first is academic excellence. here in the vip, we are the elite in singapore. or we're suppose to be aniwae. anyhow, the point is that there is alot of competition. and because of this competition, this desire to be better than others in terms of marks, it results in neccessary distinction. this distinction makes people pretentious, whether you want to believe it or not. people here base much judgement on marks. examples are ample. how many times haf you heard or asked "eh wad did you get for the test/assignment/ws?" it jus goes to show how much emphasis is placed in academic execellance, over anything else. no, not by the teachers, but by the students themselves.

the second factor is that of ego. of sorts. people (or course not all, but many) want to show, possibly even prove, that they are better than others in a certain aspect, or in different aspects. i don haf a problem with people who ARE better, beyond reasonable doubt. you jus haf to accept it. i mean, your're so not gonna beat wilbur in sailing. but as the definition goes, "especially when unjustified". i don jus refer to the people in v14. i mean the WHOLE ip. there are many, and i mean MANY people who are like that. we should all "want to be the best". that is the correct attitude. but those pretentious ones constantly TRY to APPEAR profficient in everything, when they arent. dont we all see it every day? the wannabe attitude, that ultimately spawns the pretentiousness. (is there such a word?) pretending to be something you arent, petending to be someone you aint.

the above are but the extreme.

but in the vip, people are all pretentious, in their own little ways. its a matter how how much they show, and how much you (choose to) see.

absolutely nuts

stupid things i do when i'm bored as fuck:

1. do random searches on letssingit and download the songs dat haf "interesting" lyrics.
2. search an artist on limewire pro and download any of the songs which look remotely listenable.
3. create dumbass quizzes. like wtf??
4. write weird poems dat are specifically about no one (although my brain has ceased to function recently)
5. jump around in my room. yes mindlessly jumpin. i mean it. i actually do this...
6. throw a tennis ball around the room, accidentally hitting my guitar or laptop or smthn...
7. strum my guitar >.<
8. listen to bohemian rhapsody 10 times (i haf 5 diff versions. lol)
9. think of stupid ways of murdering my hair (!!)
10. this.

nobody will break my heart

friends are there when u need them.
true friends are there when u don want them.

a friend shares his cake with you.
a true fren eats it, then brings you to the pastry shop to but one.

i never realised how important friends were.
or not.

we need each other.
survival is mutual,
or none at all.

been living for tomorrows all my life, searching, waiting, watching...

i haf to say this.
some people are irrtatin the fuck out of me.
(yay, some of u will say...)
with no particular individual(s) in mind,
these people get on my nerves:

people living in denial.
they are so fuckin (here i refrain from usin goddamn) myopic about things, its sometimes amazing. shocking that it can actually be that way. i mean, some things are jus so bloody obvious. its also hilarious, when a person can immediately do what he(for simplicity's sake i shall use he.) claims no to. in the space of 5 secs.
people all haf impressions, some call it stereotypes. i noe it too fucking well. hell start failing and u'll noe wad i mean. i noe i'm looked down upon. i noe my marks give me a bad name. people here in the vip base alot of judgement on academics. hey i aint saying this is fucked up or anything. well it is, but there is basis for it. i mean, in such a competitive environment, marks is the first and sometimes only comparison.
so when placed under a particular image, i tink its bloody stupid to claim to want to fight it, and den do nothin. wait, i'm goin off point. point is, some people keep tellin the whole world who they don wan to be, yet they are exactly that. claim to not be a suck up, yet act cute in front of trs. and then deny it. thats really the cherry on top man...

bimbos in v14.
there are a specific couple/threesome here. but that doesnt matter. the thing is, i'm getting so irritated with all the stupid brainless remarks, the wannabe actions, the acbc attitude.
its like, its tiresome after some time to say the least. i mean, we are all smart. duh. we're the fuckin vip. but when these people start becoming stupid, as in un-thinkin, it fucks up everything. its like i don recognise them anymore. people haf changed too much. for the worse. and now it gets on my nerves. bloody hell it does. fuck it if its jus me. it doesnt matter. the point is that bitch or not, they haf changed. mutated. and in all honesty dats not a gd thing.

people who don stand by what they say.
this is qutie an issue. a personal one too. cos i've witnessed this many many times. i really cannot stand it when people say one thing, then becasue of something, probreably popular opinion etc, then revise his or her stand. i haf a big problem with these kinds of people, mainly becuase of my nature. i am one who will stand by wad i say, wad i believe, and fuck u if u don agree. but i hate it when people's stand keeps changing. its all in the futile attempts to fit in isnt it? and its not jus 14. i also see alot of it in 13. in wanting to fit in, to be accepted by the mass, one changes and confirms to the norm, even after statin clearly that he or she would stand by his own stand.

like fuck u all.
i cant stand it.
i'll make it fuckin clear.
if u tink i'm being egoistical and all,
so be it.
i don give a fuck anyway.
i'm allowed my own opinion.

this is but the tip of the fuckin iceberg.

all the things she said

even within the eng language, there are words with absoutely no meaning at all. not literally, but they haf no siignificance. GENERIC WORDS. (nb: this after some lang lesson last yr lol). i've learnt never to use any of this words. as much as possible.

1. nice.
2. good.
3. bad.
4. mean.
5. evil.
6. etc the words of this sort.

why? because there is no meaning fixed to the word. like, i'm nice. compared to osama of course i'm nice. there is signifcance in using the word. i've seen it so many times. "oh my ure so nice!". "omg ure very nice too!" "no no URE nice!" me: -_-"
jay taught us this last yr. if u must "express" the above ideas, you haf to show it. you cant jus go "oh ure mean..." and leave it at dat. mean? fuck mean. prove it or shove it.
it shows a few things: limited vocab, limited brain capacity, limited intellectual abiltiy, etc.