what does one do, when the greatest day of one's life comes and goes and one never knew it happened? tell me.

i have taken the time to categorically analyse the small things in life that makes life the bitch that she is. or well in some cases just proves that evolution never really evolved us monkeys.

1. ironing. dont u tink its kinda stupid? we spend time to make ourselves look neat, but mess it up the next minute. but we still do it aniway.

2. hair cuts. i still tink its very cheeky how people take money from you by taking things off you. i mean, things like clothes, make up etc all are put ON you, and you pay for them. haircuts they take thigns OFF you, and you pay for them. its kinda dumb really. its almost as if hair keeps growing to give these people a means of making a living.

3. moving advertistments. by far one of the dumber inventions by mankind. i mean, wads the point of an advertistment when it goes past so fast you dont have time to read them? the other day i was in the car, and we drove past this van advertising for smthn. i was like: "uh, does one like pace the van just to read the advert? hopefully its an insurance advert, so at least i'd know who to call when i'm in my hospital bed recovering from the crash."

4. ask-dan. the section on 987 where u ask daniel ong stuff. the show basically is an advertistment for 1) daniel ongs stupidity or lack of intelligence 2) his not very funny sense of humour. it gives him a chance to laugh at himself after trying to act smart. and we all just cringe. its not as if the questions werent his...

5. missing clothing. especially underwear and socks. i am very pissed. i somehow keep losing underwear and socks. i HAD 6 pairs of black ankle socks. now i have 2.5 pairs. and i'm losing underwear too! other things that have gone conspicuously missing are my $45 aiddas shirt which i actually spent my money to buy, my fila tennis shorts, my brooks shorts, among other shit.

6. whiny pple. seriously i still dont understand why they were invented. i mean, they have no function except to make life hell for you. hell i could find more use with a stone. i could use it to kill them whiny ones.

7. the handphone pouch. seriously think about it. you take extra effort to put your phone in another casing, so that in tehh case you need your phone you have to exert extra effort to remove it from the casing. oh and waste valuable rings too. stupid i say.

8. james blunt. the very epitome of a gay ugly despo fag using his 4-100 mins on tv to strip.

9. dumb statistics. such as the 0.01% rise of flu cases last week. i mean like WAD??? seriously does it raelly make it a difference?? its like, 0.01% of 4 million is......a very small number. hang on while i get my calculator. ah yes dats 400 pple? ok so now i'm scared. its like who ima gonna be among those 400 pple doomed to get flu! so i better stock up on my panadols in case!! i bet with you these stupid stats are just a ploy to boost panadol sales. afterall, pharmacies pay tax?

10. mind readers. they are serioussssly annoying people. which is why i avoid talkin to them. it jus sucks all the fun out of communication. its like,
me: "hey you..."
him: "yea yea. i agree man. that totally sucks..."
me: "uh, si..."
him: "hm sweet. no problems on that. matter of fact i'll get to it right away."
me: ><

11. fat girls with short skirts/shorts. one word. DISGUSTING. wassup with these bitches man? don they understand the simple rule? ugly legs -> cover them up. it hurts to look at these girls. i don haf a prob with girls wearing short skirts and shorts, PROVIDED they have nice legs. ok i'll settle with decent legs. but no FAT legs. argh. why dont these people understand that it is a crime to hurt others?? if i had my way all fat girls will wear long pants for the rest of their lives.

12. moments of absolute boredom, resulting in pointless acts like this. suck man...

its so easy...to rock it all niiiitttteeeee!!!!!

whoa. the following is what was going thru my head whilst i was in the toilet awhile ago:

homchelah, mehnokah.
chikichikichikichikicholahmoh,
chakachakachakachakahomchumkah!

the following is what is going thru my mind as i am typing this, realising how strange all teh above is:

WTF?!?!?!?!?

I WANT TO BE A ROCKSTAR

really. watching rockstar supernova makes me feel that way. honestly, the show rocks. pun not intended. compared to this american idol is shit. i quote marty casey (<3): "i'm too good for american idol." absolutely.

aniwae i tink the new batch has more talent. last time round last 8 already still got weak pple. however i tink previous batch more personality. there was suzie, ty, jd, and MARTY.

from ep 1 my reviews.
large chick - notin spectacular.
iris dude - woohoo!! i liked his performance
aussie dude - this guy rocks. his version of knocking on heaven's door was wonderful. and i laughed out loud when gilby clarke went "i've played this song a gazillion times." hilarious i tell u...
third girl - was aight.
icelander - boo. poor song choice, cos its so blase.
screahy chick - sang bring me to life. i absolutely loved the intro, but i realyl hate her voice. its too audrey like ><
guitar chick - i like her. abit to bland, considerin she's singing nickleback, but at least she's good at her guit.
soul guy - i'm ok with his soul concept, but i jsu don get his voice. too clear.
coldplay dude - ok LAH.
DILANA - she abssolutely rocked. at first i was like "oi wtf why u standin there not moving like a total idiot?" den she went off and i'm like "WHOA". top 5 at least.
baby girl - she has an AMAZING voice. really. not sure she's supernova tho.
wobbly guy - i agree witht he band. he aint got stage presence. too wobbly.
4-11 chick - dunno why but i don take to her.
bad tie guy - ewww. he murdered the song lah. i was like WTF.
mcr dude - he absolutely rules!! very mcr. but has a much more interestin voice and style. and funk hair too!!!!!!

yay supernova. now if only they'd get someone to sing a gnr classic. i'd die.

wah seh lamamama

die you irritatin assholic act cool ugly bad fashion sense ugly shoes ugly bag bad hair irritatin rude arrogant proud myopic poseur.

i gave us some place to go

here are some games you MUST play, jus for that little kid in you.

1. bomberman!!1
2. banzai brothers (brudders) - old old old nintendo 64 game, but classic shit.
3. pikaball ><
4. street figther, becos its so damn great.
5. worms. its so damn cute!!
6. pac man. wad can i say.
7. super mario!!!! woohoo this is like the all time greatest game.
8. monster rancher. another gay but cute game.
9. sonic. really. theres nothing like it.
10. bomberman. again cos its really so damn great.

enjoy!!! and release that kid ure holdin yea? thnx.

even when your hope is gone move along move along jus to make it thru...

here are some kinds of people i really dont like:

1. poseurs. all kinds really. they are jus serious loseurs.

2. fakes. ahh this one i have serious issues. i honestly cannot stand people who are fake. meaning they dont have a fixed persona, identity, character etc. these kinds of people act differently around different people. they conform their identity to the situation. i feel this is really pathetic and quite sad. one should take ownership of oneself, and impose your identity on the situation, instead of the other way round... i have a policy of doing things for oneself, not for others.

3. dumb people who try to act smart. this kind of people are jus so paradoxical. on one hand you want to laugh at them, on the other you also feel sorry for them for being so stupid. these people are really hopeless, cos half the time, well actually mroe than half, they are ignorant fools. you want to help them, but theres no point. theres no changin them. best to leave them alone.

4. egoistic people. they are sooo irritatin. theres the kind where they never think they are wrong. and when you prove to them they are, they still don see it and go "wadeva..." or smthn. they are so sad... then theres kind where they think everythin is their right. like say X doesnt really know Y, den X asks Y for some info, and when Y isnt willing to give, as Y is unclear of X's intentions, and also that Y doesnt really like X, X goes like "aiya fuck you lah. dont give dont give lor." i mean, you cant expect everyone to give you what they want rite??

5. people who try to act popular. i'm like go away...

6. people who are all of the above. i hope i dont know you. if i do, take it i dont =D

dont you swear at me. you aint got no right to...

the long way round

ok since i'm seriously bored and wayyy to sianded to do anything else, i have decided i shall write a very long blog entry about i'm not sure what in particular.

ok so let me start with the topic of biology, specifically the shit taught in schools. seriously, do we REALLY need to know how plants reproduce and how the artery comes after the vein? is it VITAL to know that humans are of so and so species or kingdom or what not? i mean, is there any significant bearing on our current lives? which is why i seriously tink its a stupid subject. and having a boring shit teacher helps alot too. i mean, farah doesnt jus make the lesson boring. she makes the world world slow to a friggin crawl. i honestly think she has powers of some kind, where during bio lessons she makes time slow down, prolongin the torture that is bio, den makes you drift off into sleep, only for her to pointedly ask you a question. i mean, ????. dats jus seriously inhumane lah. seriously i tink farah can be used as a means of torture.

now its not that i'm against the sciences. i think the sciences is a very honerable cause, and without it, society and the world in general would be in shits. however, the way in which teh sciences are communicated to the scientifically un-inclined or the un-scientifically inclined, its wrong. they dont make it not-interesting. they make it boring. there is a difference. whilst the former indicates that the lesson, whilst not being interesting, still has btis and pieces of value in it. the latter is berift of anything. the only thing usefull from a boring lesson is time to do other stuff like writing songs or poems or thinking up strategies of world domination.

sidetrack: here are some strange things i do when i'm very bored in class.
1. write stuff that bear fleeting resemblances to poems.
2. "draw" its more like making marks on the paper that are suppose to resemble actual or non-actual objects.
3. write down random lines of random words jumbled together.
4. write a journal entry. although i don actually have a journal.
5. hold a written conversation with cheryl, but writing in mirror. hey i can actually do that decently. and read it too. =)
6. tink of soccer formations. (since invigorate soccer is now over this prob will not happen anytime soon.)
7. write down names of things (generally bands) i like, occupying and thuis wasting a whole side of paper in my notebook.

ok sidetrack over. where was i? (nb hate me ROXXXXX!!!!)

oh yes the sciences. yea so i'm pretty much a very arts inclined person. i mean i cant draw for nuts, and i'm not even sure i can draw nuts, but i'm inclined in the sense that my humanities outstrip my sciences, and i'd pick a piano/guitar over a pipette filler anyday. however we must look at the stats. in a typical jc, say vjc, there are like 5 arts classes, compared to like 20+ sci classes. what does this tell us? 1. alot of pple actually seriously like sci, or seriously dislike arts, or suck at humans real bad. 2. alot of pple are doing what they think is best for their future, as opposed to what they want. you could say its a matter of need vs want. 3. herding instinct. everyone's doing sciences, so i shall do it oso! also, this invariably means that there will be alot of people going to uni with As in science subejcts, and prob graduate with a degree in engineering and what not. and this results in a society with lots of sciency people and not too many (some say not enough) arts inclined people. this is unavoidable. we are moving towards a society that places much focus on the sciences. the government emphasises the need to develop the art scene, and at the same time building a biohub, in ADDITION to all the other science related industries already out there.

so what is my point? my point is that whilst science is safe and ultimately perceived as the better option, other then the sciences wizs and the really interested people, i ask that people give the arts some consideration. dont listen to your parents. what do they know? think of what you want, when you want. if its still science, den go for it. but don overlook the arts so quickly.

btw yes i'm bent on taking the arts. anything else and i might as well fling myself off some building in bedok. no wait make that orchard. then sure reported in the papers one. esp if i land on some dude.

so on to my next topic. my dream house. i remember some time ago over 2 chi lessons me and eileen discussed each of our dream cribs. money not an issue of course. so what is my dream house? i havent got an exact idea, but i know what i definitely want to have. oh and i figured a 3 storey terrace with a rooftop terrace would be sweet. i base the following on it.

1. a view of the sky, unobstructed by nearby buildings. this is a must. cos i luv looking at the sky. its very zen. i'll set aside one balcony, or if possible a rooftop garden, just for me to lie back and watch the sky. on a clear night of course. and i'll jus lie on the floor. chances are half the time i'll fall asleep. if it rains? better still.

2. water feature/s. i haf this crazy idea of water flowing through every floor of my house, such that like from the terrace, theres a water feature, then it spirals down to the 3rd floor, where next to the staircase it flows down via small steps to the second floor where it waterfalls to the first floor. cool rite!! yea thing is i really like water. and i think more than anything for the movement.

3. a basement. it'll just be way cool.

4. a bridge of some sort. it'll also be way cool. maybe a structure for my house such that they are "2" buildings? connected by a bridge, where water runs beneath it. so cool!

5. a totally sound proof room. also an absolute must in my dream house. den i'll pack it with drums guits amps basses a keyboard. then we can jamm!!!! yea yea. throw in a violin or sax.

6. a garden place. some place that is green lah. cos i tink i'm quite a nature person. i enjoy natural surroundings. maybe even a corner with a little hut to sit and meditate or smthn.

haha. anyone very very very free wanna come up with some kind of design for me? i'll be eternally grateful.

so dats some things i want in my dream house. excluding the ferraris of course.

ok on to my third topic, which is that of inter-personal "relations". specifically the act or process of hating. honestly, i think hating is bloody stupid. i mean really really really dumb and pointless. of course i'm guilty of having hated people, but in retrosepct, its all dumb. i mean, when you hate a person, you're wasting time and energy to dislike someone, and the funny part is you never get anything back in return. so its a matter of throwing money away, instead of spending it. its dumb lah. when u hate someone u centre ure attention, ure energy and if bad enough your life around this person. and does this person actually feel like all sorry and bummed?? of course not! it'll onyl make him more arrogant and cocksure and feel all powerful and shit. the whole concept of hating is very paradoxical. technically the point of hating someone would be to make a persons likfe shit or something to that effect, but you're also making your own life shit. we've learnt in ss econs opportunity cost. by hating, you're giving up being happy. you're giving up enjoying your own life to worry abotu anothers life. isnt that stupid?

instead, we should all try to either like someone, or disregard someone. instead of hating, just don care. half the time, actually more, the person you hate is probably not worth hating, esp if he's a person many pple tend against. to hate a pathetic person you make yourself pathetic also. it means you're going down to his level. no point. while loving everybody is possibly impossibable and overly idealistic, we should at least try smthn to that effect. treasure those you have, and don give a shit about those you dont. dont however make it a point to hate anyone. its also bad for your health. i should know.

i have up to the previous sentence typed 1477 words. haha. accordin to ms word.

hm ok fourth topic. lets see. ok i shall discuss some things i more or less live for. the first thing is most defintiely and undoubtably music. i love music. all kinds minus most rap, heavy metal, i'm not big on techno, boring classical and crazy frog. i know how to play tow instruments, although i wish that number was a lot larger. i want to learn to play drums, bass, the sax, the violin and probably upright bass.

so why do i like music so much? there are a variety of reasons i can think of. the first would be that its something i can immerse myself into. much like playing soccer (to be discussed). it allows for me to lose myself in something, and that i dont haave to really think about other things. which is why i liek taking the mrt/bus alone. can spend quality time with my ipod. its not that i dont like takgin with people or i'm a loner or wad. its differnt lah. taking with people you can joke and talk and shit. i mean you cant tell youself a joke in the mrt rite. -.- whilst listening to music i can really lose myself into almost another world.

the second thing i like about music is how it reflects one's moods. well for me generally shit moods. i dont really listen to much happy music nowadays. but thing is, when you're, or i am, feeling down or wad, and i listen to sad, depressing music, its comforting. yea prob in some demented way, but for me its quite comforting. and like when i'm all pissed and all i can listen to music and sort of soothe myself. i reccomend the slow jimmy eat world songs, coldplay, mcr and maybe some oasis.

and the third i'm not sure whether its a legitimate reason. its nto a reason per se. its more something in me that makes me musically inclined. i enjoy playing music, whether on the guit or on the piano. its abit of the above two, but also something more. i dunno.

ok dats all i shall think for today. chao and i'll see you again.

remember, its better to have a little sense of humour in times of war, then to have no sense of humor at all. at least you die laughing.

pr0n!!

love is terribly wonderful. so is it so terrible its wonderful or so wonderful its terrible?

whats happiness if it cannot be shared? would one be able to experience the emotion of happiness if theres no one else to share it with?

why is the hardest part of having something letting go? they say you dont miss your water till its gone. i say lets all drink wine.

whats more terrifying? knowing or not knowing?

why do we believe in monsters? its but another way of looking at people non?

they say the quickest way to a man's heart is food. bullshit.

what are answers, but questions to the questions we are asking?

does one stoop low, or does one fall?

if you succeed, another must fail. so are you selfish or selfless?

there are no truths. there are only lies, bigger lies, or fake truth.

dont believe it when someone tells u something. instead, believe what they aint telling you.

i'm not gay.

how happy can one be!

YAY!!! i am so happy!!! haha. although the girls lost cap ball (i'm tryin not to ref kayu), the guys won soccer!!

ok so lets rate the performance of our player today.

jobo: 10/10. !!! the only fault i can find is prob the overkickin of freekicks. but otherwise he won the game for us with some inspired keepin. woohoo!!

henry: 8/10. he worked bloody hard lah, running all over and there. only thing is never score even tho had a few opportunities. but still played a big part in the team.

subra: 8/10. solid 4 games. esp defendin. attacking did pretty well too, but was a rock when defending. hard to imagine yea?

john: 7/10. again another tireless worker. helped out with the defence alot. although kinda off attacking, with shots goin off here and there, still worked very hard.

joel: 6/10. did a pretty decent job defendin. had a few nice attacking moves, tho lost the ball a few times. but a gd performance too.

jonathan: 6/10. did a pretty nice job defendin. although at times sucked out of position, overall not a bad job.

eugene: 5/10. helped out in the attack. tho not very defensive minded, did very well in the final match defendin. so give him credit.

dessy: 3.5/10. terrible day more or less. crossin poor, passing not too gd, no shots (expected actually), it was pretty much lousy. only plus is probably in defence, where managed to help out. clashes with lemuel and cephas >< sorry guys. must do much better!!!

yay so dats how our players fared today.

so f'in irritatin

BRAWRRRRR!!! I AM LYK SO PIZZZZEEDD... ZZZ.

really the way italy beat australia was jus blain disgraceful. i mean, whilst yes we all wan to win, must one stoop THAT low????? to blatantly cheat??? its really very disappoiting and ultimately very sad for football in general. the referees of this world cup are seriously effed up. i mean, shamsul is no 1 on soccernet?? dat proves how pathetic the refereeing has been. nb i personally think shamsul is a ball of crockshit, buts dats jus my opinion. back to point. the only other instances of such blatant and pathetic cheatin i have seen are france and arsenal, who are somethin like the french club of england. i swear to god a french training schedule would look smthn like this:

0900 warmup
0930 passing
1000 set pieces
1130 break
1300 diving
1400 drills
1600 diving
1700 dribbling
1800 diving
1900 cool down
1930 diving
2000 end

i wouldnt be surprised at all. so my point? SCREW U DIVERS AND CHEATER AND ITALIANS AND FRENCH. BIATCH!!

10 ways to become a genius (proven!!)

10 songs i cant stop listening to:
1. hate me - blue october
2. blind - lifehouse
3. spin - lifehouse
4. i dare you - shinedown
5. makedamnsure - taking back sunday
6. move along - the all-american rejects
7. the adventure - angels and airwaves
8. chu mo - chen wei lian
9. saying sorry - hawthorne heights
10. the click 5 - good day no i havent lost my mind. you're all i have - snow patrol. fo real.

10 things i love to do for no reason:
1. download songs i never heard of
2. blog surf
3. do my hw
4. read my chi book
5. stone at the wall
6. read random books which i discover are actually pretty gd.
7. play pokemon red. again.
8. fire pellets around my room with a pellet gun. which if u didnt noe is illegal.
9. write stories.
10. this.

10 ways to kill me:
1. lock me in a room and blast click 5. no THE click 5.
2. poison me with CHO(KN2)
3. lock me in a room with all the contestants from singapore idol. i cant gurantee all of them will come out alive, but i can gurandamntee you dat i'll be dead.
4. drop an elephant on my head.
5. hire barney to entertain me.
6. TaLk tO mE iN StIcKy f'In cApS. bIaTcH!
7. gimme a gd book to read. a very very very very good book. i'll read myelf to death.
8. get jimmy eat world to come eat me.
9. stab me.
10. hm i'm not too sure. you tink of smthn.

10 things i should learn to say less:
1. a word dat starts with f, ends with uck and isnt firetruck. hey i'm tryin :D
2. sigh.
3. haiz.
4. muahahahaha (in real life)
5. not sure leh.
6. um/uh before ensuing sentence.
7. wee. i suppose.
8. i rock.
9. u suck.
10. insert ( ) here.

10 places i want to visit:
1. old trafford.
2. lourve
3. the arctic. to see the polar bears (:
4. the antarctic. to see the damn penguins (:
5. mexico.
6. hawaii.
7. brazil.
8. the amazon.
9. the pyramids.
10. bill gates bank. safe deposit box. wadeva.

10 places i definitely do not want to die in:
1. my house.
2. my fren's hse.
3. the sea.
4. the sky. or falling from it.
5. a rubbish dump.
6. a musuem.
7. in the midst of a crowd.
8. the toilet.
9. on public transport.
10. on stage.

10 random facts which may be true.
1. the world is ruond.
2. the earth is flat.
3. i am almost as tall as yao ming.
4. heat won the nba finals (!!)
5. i am very very bored.
6. this post was suppsoe to be up 3 weeks ago.
7. i'm in love.
8. high school musical is a great show.
9. i think jocks are pretty hot.
10. the song playing on the radio now is balls.

NOW. if u haf followed the above steps exactly, you would have taken ure first step towards becoming a genius!! now its jus for you to keep working at it, and someday you will be the smartest person the world has ever known. PEACE>>>

i am in a good mood. seriously haha.

yay today i went my family to corduroy and finch. hehe. the place rocks lah. i ate teh cheesecake and a truffle. haha. den the tiramisu bowl thingy is super cute/pretty. and the tiramisu tastes gd too! oh and yea the tap in the toilet is uber cool.

disclaimer: pls don ask me wads the point of this post. i don noe either.

realli. tHe tHings i reSort to wHen i aM boreD. wooHoo.

quiz. HAHA.

1) smoked - nah.
2) consumed alcohol - yea! wine is actually quite nice. but red wine sucks.
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex - chalet.
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex - see above.
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex - nah.
6) made out with someone of the same sex - nah.
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex - countless times.
8) watched porn - i haf frens.
9) bought porn - you can buy pron??
10) done drugs - technically yes, considerin panadol and all are drugs. but no not to get high or anything.
11) taken pain killers - who hasnt? wait haf i? tink so ><
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine - yea my mom's cough mixture.
13) lied to your parents - come on.
14) lied to a friend - come on.
15) snuck out of the house - nope don tink i haf. not snuck out per se. not dat i haven thot about it.
16) done something illegal - jaywalking? haha. of course i've done smthn illegal.
17) cut yourself - ah DUH.
18) hurt someone - yep.
19) wished someone to die - anyone who hasnt shld be dead. hey i haf jus wished someones dead.
20) seen someone die - nope.
21) missed curfew - -.-
22) stayed out all night - chalet? other den that not sure. prob.
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself - YEA!
24) been to a therapist - nope.
25) been to rehab - nope.
26) dyed your hair - yay. well highlights, but same lah.
27) received a ticket - nope.
28) been in a wreck - nah.
29) been to a club - not after 7.
30) been to a bar - yep.
31) been to a wild party - not reallyyy...
32) seen the Mardi Gras - excluding the tj shite? nope.
33) had a spring break in Florida - i wish.
34) sniffed anything - uh, yeah?
35) wore black nail polish - nah. i will sometime tho.
36) wore arm bands - don tink so.
37) wore t-shirts with band names - nope don haf dem.
38) listened to rap - yah.
39) own a 50 cent CD - .|.
40) dressed gothic - nah
41) dressed prep - uh, don tink so. hist drama don count rite ><
42) dressed punk - not really.
43) dressed grunge - nah.
44) stole something - hehe :D
45) been too drunk to remember anything - nope never gotten drunk.
46) blacked out - nope.
47) fainted - almost. almost.
48) had a crush on your neighbor - nah.
49) had someone sneak into your room - zz cos not. u cant really sneak into a tiny box can u?
50) snuck into someone else's room - nah.
51) had a crush on someone of the same sex - uh, nope.
52) been to a concert - of course.
53) dry humped someone - dry humped? wtf is that??
54) been called a slut - nah.
55) called someone a slut - yah.
56) installed speakers in your car - my car. yea the ferrari sitting outside my bungalow. yeah.
57) broke a mirror - nope.
58) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house - not sure. don tink so.
59) brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush - yah. accidentally tho.
60) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper - .|.
61) seen an R rated movie in theaters - nope.
62) cruised the mall - wtf is dat? but i suppose.
63) skipped school - yea.
64) had an eating disorder - yea?
65) had an injury - ><
66) gone to court - yea. but i wasnt being charged. so i guess no?
67) walked out of a restaurant without paying - i always do dat. teh adults pay mah. but no i aint so cheap lah.
68) caught something on fire - haf i? ummmm. no.
69) lied about your age - yah.
70) owned an apartment - and i'm donald trump.
71) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend - my boyfren/girlfren?
72) cheated with someone - see above.
73) got in trouble with the police - nope. :D
74) talked to a stranger - yah. flag day ><
75) hugged a stranger - nah.
76) kissed a stranger - nah. i aint crazy or despo.
77) rode in the car with a stranger - not stranger stranger.
78) been sexually harassed - nope.
79) been verbally harassed - countless times.
80) met face to face with someone you met online - no.
81) stayed online for 12 hours straight - ah duh.
82) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight - nope not yet.
83) watched TV for 12 hours straight - don tink so.
84) been to a fair - yea.
85) been called a bad influence - countless times.
86) cursed - WHAT??? ARE U F'IN RETARDED??
87) prank called someone - i tink.
88) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex - yes?
89) cheated on a test - :D
90) cheated on homework - no duh.
91) held hands with someone of the opposite sex - pri sch was a traumatising period of my life.
92) been pushed into a pool - i tink so.
93) played pool - yah.
94) watched 5 hours of mtv straight - nope. i tink i did 3 tho.
95) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you - no lah.
96) had a crush on someone younger than you - don tink so.
97) wear eyeliner - yeah.
98) skinny dipped - no.
99) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt - footballers?


10-20 = Goodie-goodie.
21-30 = A little rebellious.
31-40 = Almost rebellious.
41-50 = Rebel.
51-60 = Total bad girl/boy.
61-70 = Bitch/ass-hole.
71-80 = Can't believe you made it this far.
81-90 = Fucking bad-ass.
91-100 = See you in hell!

TOTAL SCORE: 45

so i am a rebel. yay.

sleeping as an aphrodisiac

sleeping, as we all know, is oh so wonderful. but do YOU know how you're sleeping? for that matter are YOU aware of the different ways of sleeping? i shall break them down for you. and also rate them.

1. the forced sleep. this is what is common in alot of people, where they go to sleep for one or more of the following reasons: nothing to do, habit to sleep at a certain time, being forced to sleep by a superior authority, unknown. the point is, you arn't actually tired or anything. but you go to sleep anyhow.

pleasure value: 2/10. really theres nothing much to this. you wont wake up feeling very muich different.

2. the shagged sleep. this is also pretty common, where you get ureself so exhausted you more or less knock out. yah. this can happen in many instances, such as after playing sports for a long period of time, working long hours, and any other form of physical exhaustion.

pleasure value: 4/10. you're tired, so you'll wake up feeling refreshed. which is nice.

3. the drunk sleep. this happens when you get yourself drunk, and then knock out.

pleasure value: ?. it has never happened to me, so i dont know. but i would reckon maybe a 6/10. 2 for the sleep, 4 for the alcohol before.

4. the never sleep sleep. this refers to when you keep yourself from sleeping. often happens at sleepovers (the irony yes) and chalets and the like. while one is mentally exhausted and sometimes physically too, you force yourself to stay awake.

pleasure value: 8/10. when you finally do sleep, its like "yeahohmygodfinally!!" and you konk out. and then you wake up 32 hours later feeling like a new man. or women.

5. the drugged sleep. specifically the anesthetic kind. ga that is.

pleasure value: 10/10. yeah! it feels really good, when the anesthetic is moving through you're body, slowly creeping up to your head. it really gets you high. and at least you go to sleep feeling real high.

so, what kind of sleeper are YOU?

AHHHHHH!!!!!

ow. pain pain pain pain pain pain pain. brawr.

the back of my upper arms are hurting from yesterday's wakeboarding. but i figured wakeboarding's still pretty funk.its a whole lot of fun.

but the jellyfishes are the bitch!! rawr!

me and meh doggies put it dowwn on da girls on da floor goin zizikizamzam zizizazum

sigh. last nite had another weird dream. firstly it was in an unknown location which looked abit like orchard mrt the control station there, but it was an airport. or at least a place people go to to go to other countries. then there were weird pple in the place. students mostly. den henry (the dream one) told me smthn about putting me and someone's pics on everyone's display pics. huh. rite. den this girl walks up to me and like asks me if we can talk. i'm like yea ok. so dat girl as far as i cna rmb (note my memory sucks) was qutie chio, short and had nice eyes. heh. den we walk and talk, and apparently she is a tjcian. >< and den we click and blah blah blah go eat lunch/dinner/some meal.

den i nto sure wad happen. forgot liao. but it was smthn along the lines of smthn major happened, maybe an explosion or smthn. cant rmb ><

oh yea and sher appeared too. weird.

and i woke up and i'm like "wtf".

and now i'm sitting in front of the comp with my chinese book on my lap waiting to be done but instead i'm blogging shit. shit.

i like long stories. like long long stories. HAHA!!

apparently theres gonna be a new fantastic 4 movie. so says shan/jessica alba. hm.

and now i shall end this post with a quote: "poo".

brawling in the dark

seriously, this is quite sad. i haf taken to replaying pokemon. red. wtf.

honestly!

terrible i tell u. terrible!!!

sheep some times i wonder if i noe u at all. its quite sad really, how things have turned out. so many questions, so few answers. so many things to do, so little time given to us. i sometimes think to myself, maybe it aint worth it after all. but den the devil says: "shuttup and get up already.." and i look at him. and i really want to slap him. but u and i both noe i cant.

its always as i dream it. so different. things are always so much more...beautiful in my dreams. so much more...right. how i wish things could turn out like they do as i dream them. but i know it cant. it wont. for its all but a fantasy. reality's a whole different bitch.

nein?

since i aint got inspiration to blog i haf resorted to a meaningless entry with some meaning

yay.

i haf made a list of strange resolutions. well i haven physically made any list in any form, but i've planned on some stuff.

1. be less bitchy. i shall try very hard to do this. the plan is to regulate myself... and jus i dunno tink of other stuff to obsess myself with

2. be less angry/angsty etc. basicaly i'm not gonna let things get to me so easily. like i used to.

sigh. this is very sad. its always liddat when i blog den halfway don feel like bloggin anymore.

this is fucekd lah. i oso dunno wassup with this and that.

pple shld seriously start agreeing with me.

i think, slowly, i'm changing. theres nothing very obvious, but i think its in the little things. i sense i'm becming different. becoming more... i dunno. some one tell me.

i think going crazy, or at least having moments of insanity, it aint dat bad. it provides me with an alternate reality for all of 2 secs.

there are times i'm not even sure what i'm doing. actions dat jsu happen, without me actually contemplating them.

its queer to think dat maybe its all but a cycle. things coming back to itself. jus like how last yr all began. again.

i need to rediscover some parts of the old me. the not-so-blah me. really.

default rocks. everyone go listen to default.

jimmy eat world rocks. you know it.

taking back sunday rocks. ok so i'm slow but better late then never.

lifehouse rocks.

bawling my heart and swallowing all the clouds and blind me

f'in dejavu

its so strange. to think one year later i'd be walking the exact same path i did. ok so one year ago i was running, but that really isnt the point. and its so strange, that this time it was with my family, and one year ago it was with people i hardly knew. the irony really. life jus has to do that eh? take it and throw it in ure face. woohoo.

its so sad, cos while walking towards esplanade, i was talking to the moon. seriously.

haiz. time really has a habit of slipping away.

bahs.

honey its been a long time coming...

stupid pple shld die. honestly. or shld i add stupid pple who don accept the fact that they are stupid, and summore act clever. die irritatin stupid pple. seriously. i don get how anyone can tink so damn highly of him/herself. and i thought i was the limit. in all honesty, bias aside, some pple are jus naturally dumber than others. why cant some pple jus accept the fact that they really arnt dat brilliant and thus not act like it? (believe me i came to this conclusion a long time ago... ) i mean, wads the point of arguing just for the sake of arguing? if u've lost, u've lost. arguing further only makes u appear stupid(der).

i jus don understand how some people just don get it. losers.

dont you see? you're really all that i want... you're only all i ever need...

someone PLEASE donate me a life. i beggeth of you...

f knagbwaj,rgfnwkvfhwkbkw bwkjfW:ljg/e;gpekb

some fun facts.

did you know.....?
- more movies are produced in India every year than in hollyhood.
- that Mercedes cars were named after a girl
- intelligent people have mroe zinc and copper in their hair
- theres a nba baller named derrick zimmerman
- title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles
- If you could count the number of times a cricket chirps in one minute, divide by 2, add 9 and divide by 2 again, you would have the correct temperature in celcius degrees
- The Antpitta avis canis Ridgley is a bird that looks like a stuffed duck on stilts and barks like a dog
- Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave
- In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
- In Texas, a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
- In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
- Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula".
- 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
- During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance.
- The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
- The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
- Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
- The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.
- Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
- The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.
- Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ".
- desmond is too bored with physics bio and elective work begging.

argh mothers suck too

my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea. its kinda scary. nowadays, i'm gettin irritated by the smallest details in life. the way a person walks, the words pple use, even how pple stand. and i've jus been frustrated as hell... i mean, everyday i go home and its the same old routine of bein lectured by my dad. i'm not sayin i aint wrong, cos i am, but he jus overdoes it. sigh.

somebody pls pls pls come save me.

take me away, keep me from this rain...

i really want to thank you...

sigh. isnt the weather jus terribly wonderful? i love rainy days... (for all those too slow no i'm not bein sarcastic). rainy days are so nice... haha. esp the ones where theres a light-medium rain, clear, not too dark skies... and no thunder/lighting...

its these kinds of days that i love.
i dunno, but i feel calmer.
more in love with the world.
its days like this i jus wanna sit in an open field,
bug free dat is,
and i dunno. jus lie down and let the rain fall down on me.
i really love the rain.
i like walking in the rain i really do...
listenin to nice music,
or else jus listenin to the sounds of the world.
sigh isnt it jus beautiful?

and maybe theres dat special someone there rite by your side...

wish wishing wished wisheded wish upon a fallin star...

hey have we met before?

actually yea.

haha.

well i've been goin thru my past, and i discovered some interestin stuff.

1. me and samuel were in the same k2 class!















cool rite. ok not so, but dats not THE DAMN POINT.

bah i'm feelin lazy and aaronnish now. shall continue some other time. which is never really...

haha. u can laugh but u cant make fun of me. cos the joke's on you. no wait. the joke IS you...

rawr bitch

you're falling out of reach...
you're defying gravity...

haiz. life jus friggin rocks... seriously. having a father who's threatening to bash your head in with a baseball bat jus makes it better...

this is crap seriously. theres 23mins left on the stupid watch dog shit on the calss comp, and i aint done nuts for my bio. wee. happy is the new me. bah. i'm like so screwed lah... woohoo.

ADADADADADADADADADADADADA

thrid, maybe fourth time lucky?

yesterday was a strange day.

while i was walkin my dog, along the path beside my hse i saw 3 couples. a cheena one, an indian one, both middle aged, and a young chinese couple. who were btw makin out in the big field.

so aniwae the sky was really clear, so could see loads of stars. which reminds me, the path beside my hse is a great place for star gazin. the surrounding not dat many tall stuff, so can see the sky pretty well, and when the sky is clear its really nice cos can see loads of stars.

ok the point of this post is?

be cool, be a jew

zz ok i haven blogged in ages, even with so many things dat has happened. ok so update on my life =)

mood: bored.

ok so some of the stuff dat has happened.

magic fundoshi:
omg i was so pissed of with the stupid play. seriously. wad a waste of 32.40. the day wasnt too bad, cos got take neos, but the play was sooo dumb and retarded. i seriously was qutie appalled by the sheer no-brainness of the play. it was hardly funny, unless u consider all those overly used "jokes", and there was no plot at all!! argh was i pissed dat nite.

operation tumor:
yea so on sunday, 9/4/2006, i went for an operation for the first time! actually i tink it was my first time in the hospital as a patient. as far as i can rmb dat is... and it was pretty cool. the tag is funky =) haha. oh yes one thing. THE STUPID OUTFIT SUCKS... the pants were so big i had to hold them up everytime i stood up >< hm the operation was actually qutie cool. i was covered with this heated blanket thing which was blardy shiok, den the GA was damn damn shiok. haha.

bah no mood to blog. haiz world love me yay.

hur hur the horses sing.

when the've all gone away

today during the workshop thing joe talked about him and his sis, and i was moved by his story. i really was. and yea i teared. why? cos it really affected me... his story, it sounds so much like mine. and it made me think. it made me tink real hard... about things dat haf happened in the last yr and 3 months.

so i thought. about my marks. about sws. about my parents. about sher. about my frens. about some of the choices i've made. some of the decisions i've made. and looking back, i cant help but feel goddamn sad. cos sadly, i've lost it all... really. nowadays i don really feel much. everythin seems so far away...

i ask myself, is this what i want? my answer? no its not. but its wad i haf. its wad i've given myself. so want it or not i jus haf to get it done, this shit i've brought onto myself. blame me for the mistakes i've made, blame me for the choices i didnt make. anything goes really.

is it so hard to keep promises? or is it jus dat one chooses not to? becos there are promises i want to keep, promises i hope pple will keep, and maybe we'll all be better off. waiting, holding on, mistaking life for what it is.

i am incoherence.

all time been frozen, just an hour maybe two...

so i'm a sentimental old fool...

sue me. bitch.

jus trying to sort out my life

for once, well not exactly, but yea for once my title is pretty straight to the point. my life is fucked up. seriously. i'm in need of some serioua help... bleh. sigh i seriously need to sort out my life... its pretty screwed rite now... i aint doin my work, my marks are shit, i'm fallin asleep in class, i don get bio and chem, and sometimes maths also, i'm gettin pissed all the time, i'm losin control of my emotions, i'm friggin fighting with my dad all the time etc.

its tiring. its is.

it hurts to think about the past. when things were so much more...simple. i guess thigns get gradually mroe difficult as we grow older, which is expected. u noe, when i was younger, i never thot things would be the way it is now... not the fucked up family part that is... sigh. does it hurt? i guess it does... but as time goes by, the feeling kinda fades. more numb to it i guess.

sigh. its so difficult nowadays. people are so busy. its like, theres no one to really talk to anymore. it feels strangely lonely.

i g u e s s i k n e w i t a l l a l o n g .

ooohh...

bah i injured my toe. like a whole bit of skin jus peeled off... ouch.

bleh hci. ><

cos i had a bad bloody day

argh. 2day was a very bad day. i passed the hideous poster not once, not twice, but.....THRICE!! yay freakin thrice. bah dats a bad omen. her rarrr-i-want-to-bite-u face is so wrong and really kinda ugly... bah.

on another note, pple who really liked cashflow, i was tinkin if there were 5 or less of u maybe can come my hse play, cos i got the game, cos my aunt bought it but never really used it. or if got alot of pple we can go to the boardgame cafe thingy!! yay...

bah.

time goes by too fuckin quickly

argh. i am pissed. seriously, 2day musicfest was screwed. WTF?? how the hell did risque win?? there is no logic to dat... i mean, the other girl group were technically better, and had ORIGINAL moves, not some oh-lets-rip-a-missy-mtv slut moves. and blaze owns all!! seriously they had some sick moves, even if there were some rather common moves. but in all honesty, the first place should have been a fight btw blaze and the dancer group. risque shld die...

bah. beatrice says she wants to join next yr to overthrow queen A. yay pea and wiane dong shdl join her. teh bu also...

on another note, today was fucked up!! yay!!

well since its aprils fool's day, the school, or actually i tink the sc or cosiety or artery or someone decided to be funny... (sc probrably). so first they messed up the ip classrooms, cos we're the only ones with fixed classrooms. dats ok. den the plasma screen was friggin funny. it read smthn like : assembly all - band room. ip1s - koi pond. ip2s - pe dept. teachers - field. student council - go home! like wtf?

first the national anthem, played by the...CO! WTF?? everyone was friggin laughing, includin the sc guys on stage. it was jus sooo weird... den the pledge, where the chi guy on stage recited in tamil. den the school song. by a ROCK BAND??? the hell it was too funny... and kinda lousy actually... haha.

oh and the announcements were funny shit. (ugh note shan wee is on now. cheebye) first there was the world record, where everyone was suppose to go the the treehouses at 10 to cheer the loudest yo vjc, cos there were the guiness pple in sch... wtf. den there was the free circumcision, which was highly disturbing. den the one about horticulture selling broccoli or smthn. and how "the pe dept highly recommends all students to purchase them". haha super funny. den how the soccer boys were disqualified cos "4 players were found to be taking performance enhancing drugs..." wtf.

2day has been a very weird april fool's day. or eve. oh and some of the ip classes changed classrooms for fun. too bad we didnt... sad.

ugh i am pissed.

whats this special way that clouds my mind?

i realise my mind lately has been very clouded by anger. bah. this is bad.

i need to be less pissed. meanin i haf to control my emotions more.

haiz.

thnx. yea we've both got so much to do. and i really hope we can pull through all this... i know u can. can i?

let there be love-uve

hm going thru my playlist i haf classified some of my songs...

songs to put ureself to sleep when ure tired:
- drugs for me - jimmy eat world
- about any oasis song... the longer ones i guess
- one more moemt - ronin (u just put it on replay when ure tired...)
- hear you me - jimmy eat world
- iris - goo goo dolls
- everytime - simpleplan
- on fire - switchfoot
- every breath u take - sting & the police (somehow)
- any acoustic based busted song
- crumbs - disagree
- an jing - jay fuckin chou
- heres to the night - eve 6
- i knew i loved u/truly madly deeply - savage garden

yea these are jus some i can tink of right now... haha. don getme wrong i like many to most of these songs, but i don suggest u play them when ure strugglin to stay awake.

depressive songs (songs u shld not listen to when ure feelin down) :
- pieces - sum 41(a definite nono. u'll jus cry ureself to death or smthn)
- heres to the night - eve 6
- everytime - simpleplan (this one i'm not too sure, but 4 me it is cos the lyrics are rather relevant)
- hurt - johnny cash (for any self-respectin wrestling fan)
- scars - papa roach
- we believe - good charlotte
- look what you've done - jet
- collide - howie day
- anything coldplay ><
- evanescence
- never again - justin timberlake
- 3am - busted
- one more moment - ronin (i suppose)
- work - jimmy eat world
- generally the slower jimmy eat world songs can all get u rather messed up inside
- blind/you and me - lifehouse
- behind blue eyes - limp bizkit (strangely depressin)

jus to name a few. actually alot of songs can make u feel crappy when ure down... its the whole mood i guess. every song seems sad. i dunno.

cant you see, i've loved you all along...

PEARLYN LIM READ THIS

this is in response to pea's post about vs guys. i'm not pissed or anything, neither do i like hate pearlyn or wad, but i'd like to make a point.

firstly, i tink everyone shld read makoto's entry in cosiety about vs guys and vs cheers. because he makes a point. we arnt the only ones doing it, and we, like all others, have a reason for cheering. u cant really blame us vs guys for loving the school and everything dats comes from it. go read his post, try to be as unbiased as possible, and u'll see he has a point. to pea: i tink u shouldnt judge makoto liddat. cos i know him, and i noe he's a really nice guy. and he wrote dat post, as far as i can see, with absolutely no bias. he is a lit person and he knows wad he is tokin about.

secondly, i tink if its possible, everyone hu has a problem with vs guys and how we love the school so much should go and recall the vs co-ed issue. go read the website they set up and the archvies of vs guys. u'll realise that we really love the school. its not dat we think we're superior to others. dats not being fair to vs guys. but we think vs rocks, and we think vs is great. yes we do. but dats primarily because we love the school. we love the culture. we love the people. and as such its not hard to see why we think vs rocks. jus go read post on dat issue. DEN u'll see why we love the school so much.

and yes pearlyn i am particularly annoyed by your post. i think, in all honestly, your're too hopelessly biased against us vs guys. cos really u cant judge the school, you cant judge the culture we vs guys haf jus cos there are the one or two annoying ones. really. theres bound to be people like dat. but if u'd jus look pass all of dat and jus look at the school, you'll realise there is none of that. the vs culture is not one of arrogance. really.

and jus because some dumb bowling junior of yours is a suck up doesnt mean every vs guy is. cos we're not. as far as i know, no decent vs guy would really suck up to anyone.

so, to all, vs guys arnt dat bad. and we only tink its a great sch cos to us, it really is.

i want it that way...

why i have a fucktard for a father remains a mystery to me

fucking hell...
i'm telling you my father is the best.

i wake up first thing he does is to lecture me, telling me how irritated he is with my attitude and all dat shit. his ohmygorduuselesspieceofshit speech... argh.

u noe, which father accuses his son, without basis, of...
- smoking
- having anything to do with sex videos
- basically anything wrong dat appears in the newspapers

oh yay now he's telling me i'm not a star. i haf not proven i'm up there. wad shit sia.

i don understand. wad did i do to deserve an asshole like him for a father? no one day is peaceful when he's around... and dats a bad thing... now i cant even be bothered. everytime he opens his damn mouth i jus zone out. its a skill i'm qutie good at now with so much practice.

bah they are playin the stupid shnupi song. ugh fuck 987 and bad music.

true.

will you be there when my conscience calls,
will you be there when i'm starting to fall.
are you really just one call away.
are you there to stop me when i start to sway.

i need to know.

and listen to me say...

dessy's top 10 songs of the moment

1. one more moment - ronin
2. somewhere out there - our lady peace
3. crazy son - ronin
4. work - jimmy eat world
5. pieces - sum 41
6. let there be love - oasis
7. far away - nickleback
8. blind - lifehouse
9. lights and sounds - yellowcard
10. when the sun goes down - arctic monkeys

i desperately need some cheering up.

of darkness and deep valleys

sigh. theres so much work i gotta do. i haf to hand up all my overdue work by 12 noon 2day. sian. i haf 4 physics stuff, 3 maths assignments and an ss essay to complete. fuck. and i havent even started. shit. i'll be up till 4... bitch.

i look up at the lights,
all hanging over me.
greet the strangers that
walk past me.
yet time has gone past,
memories will fade away.
looking at the pages of my life,
watch as they fade away,
so far away.

took that shot in life,
only to realise,
i was mistaken.
every hour, every minute,
everytime i look at you,
i realise,
you're all i'm living for.

never a good time to say goodbye,
like a distant memory,
of times that keep slipping away.
time will be the one which holds you down.
those words come out,
when those you want have gone away.
give me one more moment,
if i beg would you please.

stars shine, only to laugh at you.
stones turn to mock you.
dawn breaks,
but i cant see the light.
life so tangled up
in all the shit i'm through.

even the best fall down sometime...

fuck the girl i'm looking for

bah after many days of inactivity on the guitar my fingers have become all crappy again. bleh. shall start playing again. yay.

BAH I HATE THE FUCKING CLICK FIVE AND ALL THAT SHIT.

ali baba, ali ali baba...

muhahahaha!!! i am so very happy now!! ah!!!!!!

ok so my performance jus ended a couple of days ago, and overall it was wonderful. i mean absolutely fantastic. haha. the performances went really well, with no major screw ups or anything. and everyone wad so high!!! hahaaha!!

sigh i guess we'll all miss alibaba 06. and rightly so. all the fun times we had, playing a fool, listenin to the oh-so-lame jiantong, watching/listenin to yunkai and junyi fool around... lol. the qiang dao 'deng deng deng' mv. lmao. yihao and jiarui's jokes and all the crap. and the feeling after performing. the feeling of accomplishment. i think dats wad we'll all miss the most.

sigh. i am already missing alibaba so much. but its over. the show will go on.

onward!!!!!!!

tales of a tormented soul, sounds of the dredged past

its so hard to put the past behind you.
cos it always seems to come back to haunt you.
as much as you want to leave it behind,
bury it and leave it to die,
somehow it never does want to stay still.
either people will bring it up,
and you yourself will recall the past.
regret is the biggest culprit.
regret makes us worry.
regret makes us want to look back,
makes us need to look back.

your mistakes,
they will haunt you.
forever.
people change, things change,
i guess people jus don see it.
but i shall abstain from saying anythin,
less i be framed or smthm.
but lets put it all behind,
and start over.

as nobodys.

that, or fond memories.
of the times we had.
the life we enjoyed.
its like the feeling is gone,
it doesnt feel right anymore.
how i wish that we could turnback time,
but sadly we cant.
we haf to live with it.
i haf to live with the mistakes i made.
and i cant say id on regret them.
i do, very very much.
i would give almost anything to haf those times back.
to undo what i've done.

but sadly the show will go on...

i want to change the world,
but all i have isnt enough.
yet i will change the world.
jus wait and watch.

i want you here tonight,
i need you by my side,
for jus one more moment,
for jus one more moment with you...

dont phunk with his heart

diane is in love with dang lah. seriously.

to those hu will say i'm 'jealous': well i'm not. theres notin jealous to be about. don believe me too bad.

i lie and i'm proud of it

the horrors of homework and the bloody lit essay

work has been piling up like crazy this term. and i suspect (yes i really do) datits gonan get a whole lot worse. this doesn nto bode well for me. den again when does work every bode well for anyone?
point is, i believe we all must work out some strategies to dela with this impending doom that will be homework, and all the other projects to boot.

desmond's guide to surviving homework overload

1. DONT DO ANYTHING.
hey this is a very effective method. at least you won be all stressed and all. and u don really haf to work very hard for this. downsides: parents, teachers, ultimtaely your marks. effectiveness: 2/10

2. DO SOME AND DON DO OTHERS
well this isnt dat difficult to do either. u can choose to do the subjects you like, and forget about the rest. u'll be kinda relaxed to :) downsides: parents, teachers and ultimately ure results, but to a lesser extent den in method 1. effectiveness: 4/10

3. DO MOST AND MISS OUT ONE OR TWO
i believe by far the most widely used method. probrably because of the effort:end result ratio. this methid gives u the most pay off for that amount of effort. downside: stress lor. effectiveness: 7/10

bah i'm sleepy. jus finished my cocked up lit essay. screwed is the new me. muhahahaha. shall continue this some other time if i'm bored enough

some weird and funny shit. props to subra.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Desmond!

1. According to the story, Pinocchio was made of desmond.
2. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than desmond.
3. When provoked, desmond will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.
4. Desmond, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
5. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing desmond.
6. Medieval knights put the skin of desmond on their sword handles to improve the grip!
7. Desmond can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!
8. In his entire life, desmond will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
9. Europe is the only continent that lacks desmond!
10. South Australia was the first place to allow desmond to stand for parliament.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dessy!

1. If you drop dessy from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
2. A thimbleful of dessy would weigh over 100 million tons.
3. Apples are covered with a thin layer of dessy.
4. Dessyocracy is government by dessy.
5. Originally, dessy could not fly.
6. Baskin Robbins once made dessy flavoured ice cream.
7. During World War II, Americans tried to train dessy to drop bombs!
8. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, dessy is the victim.
9. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to dessy!
10. Dessy cannot be detected by infrared cameras!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Noraa!

1. The air around noraa is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
2. The number one cause of blindness in the United States is noraa.
3. Noraa was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
4. Originally, noraa could not fly!
5. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but noraa can not!
6. Without its lining of noraa, your stomach would digest itself!
7. Noraa is the largest of Saturn's moons.
8. Noraa can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee.
9. If you blow out all the candles on noraa with one breath, your wish will come true.
10. The only planet that rotates on its side is noraa.

lmao.

diane/pea

pearlyn and diane have turn lesbian. seriously. i mean, the way they fondle each other and make eyes at each other, and contstantly leaving impressions (read: marker stains) on the other jus goes to show how lesbian they are. but in all seriousness, they haf changed for the worse. as henry put it, they've become mroe childish. much more. and i haf to qutoe subra here: "they are not the same pple whom i once could talk to about.... things". how true. its like i don noe them anymore. they arnt the same pple i used to know. i don like the new look diane and the new look pearlyn.

generally, nowadays they are jus plain irritatin. not funny, jus irritatin. maybe its jus me, but i tink the reason i'm so irritated by the both of them is because i used to know different people. and i am saddened to see them having degenerated to this current state. sigh. i'm jus hopin things will change for the better. but i doubt it will.

changing lanes, changing worlds.

gay gilbur

gay and theres no denying it

well, i have come to the conclusion that wilbur is gay. not a hard one, but still a conclusion nonetheless.

so, why do i say this? well the reasons are as follows:

1. wilbur is actively against gays/homosexuality etc. this is due to the fact that he wants to keep secret his sexual orientation, and the best way to do this was to claim to hate gays and want to kill htem all. this is but a facade. in truth, wilbur is actually gay. so do not be fooled by him.

2. when u touch him, wilbur reacts very violently. the reason for this is that he gets instantly turned on, and thus displays a very sudden burst of emotion. wilbur loves to be touched, but again claims to hate being touched so we won suspect him of being gay. so do not be fooled by him.

3. wilbur touches ganesh. i've got nothing more to say, except do not be fooled by wilbur.

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY WILBUR!!!

confessions

confessions of 300 unmarried was a bad play. seriously. it was pretty bad.

i'm too sian to blog about it jus yet. maybe another time. ATOMIC JAYA!!

belief in all that you must. know that you are wrong on all counts.

franz ferdinand

FRANZ FERDINAND!!!!! AHH!!!!

woohoo. the concert rocked.

pluses.
1. alex kaprano standin on the bass drum (lols at lester who missed it)
2. 3 people 1 drum
3. nick mccarthy's dancing (woohoo)
4. great music (!!)
5. take me out.

minuses
1. serious lack of covers. lester told me they covered watcha waitng 4 in one of their concerts >.>
2. relatively short concert.
3. no encore.
4. painful lights. sometimes.

franz ferdinand rocks. woot.

liking her for me

liking her for me

i've been thinking. people our age, we're always liking people/getting into relationships. but is there really a need to? lets analyse this logically and systematically.

what are the advantages of getting attached?
- to feel wanted. to know for a fact that someone desires you. its good for the ego.
- to feel needed. its also good for the ego.
- to boast. like look i haf a bf/gf. coolness is me.
- emotional comfort. being attached gives someone that sense of comfort, the sense that theres ssomeone to fall back on.
- physical needs. not sex, but physical intimacy. we're genetically engineered for it.

what are the disadvantages of being attached?
- distraction. one loses sight of own priorities. slowly.
- isolation. to diff extents, but essentially you are creatin a world of your own.
- restriction. theres alot of things you cant do when you're attached. or at least you will set some boundaries on yourself. wheres the fun in that?
- break up. its inevitable. can you deal with it?

so is being attached a good or bad thing? my conclusion is that as long as you dont let it get to far, it wont hurt you too bad. yes it'll hurt, but the pain is necessary. we will all experience the pains of "love" sooner or later. so why not sooner? as long as you dont take the relationship too far (we are only 15-16 after all), then why not? the experience should be good.

however, there is a problem. the problem is finding that person. a person who you like, and likes you back. liking people isnt hard. finding people who like you isnt that hard. finding someone who likes you and you can like back or vice versa is the diffucult part.

but hey. dats what we live for isnt it? answers, conclusions and ultimately, problems.

be careful what you wish for...

i am so dead.

thurs, 16 feb
sch: 7.40 - 3.05
interhse bowling: 5.45 - ?
franz ferdinand concert: 8 - ?
homeworl: eat shit.

fri, 17 feb
work due: 2 maths assigments, 1 lit essay, 1 ss essay.
sch: 7.40 - 3.05
sl meeting/physics meetin: - 3.30 - ?
go check out air rifle with subra: ?

i'm like so screwed.

woohoo to me.

new template

haha yay i got a new template for my blog.

some reasons why i did so:
1. my old template was gettin pretty old
2. time for some change i guess
3. its best to disassociate myself .

everyone say "yay!!"

kiss my arctic monkeys

stop making the eyes at me

this is a story.
a story about a rabbit.
this rabbit, he was different.
instead of the usual floppy ears,
his ears were stubby.
useless for hearing, really.

but no, this rabbit was not discouraged.
he did everything he could to fit in with the rest.
he walked like they did,
he talked like they did,
he even slept as they did.

but there was no denying the fact,
that he was different.
too different.

dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness!

now this rabbit,
he wanted to badly to be like the rest.
but sadly, maybe he didnt know it,
but his antics,
they'd seen it all.
they were old, last century.

scantily clad under the clear night sky

the rabbit, he persevered.
everyday he would watch them other rabbits,
watch them as they laugh,
as they made merry.
then the rabbit, he would bug them.
wanted a share of their carrots he did.
he persisted,
made himself a pain in the ass,
just so maybe, he could be like them.

but he never did.
and he never will.
because why?
this rabbit, he never learned.
not with stubs for ears.

the point's that there aint no romance around there

when i die who's gonna be there to catch me?

school so far hasnt been too good. lagging in hw, sleepin in class, playing bridge during lessons (slbeit only clhi), all these don bode well for my academic year ahead. but still, all these should not be happening. i am supposed to be catching up with my work and shit, but i am evidently not doing so. playing too much nba live doesnt help.

why? i often ask myself this question. and the answer is surprisingly simple. i aint scared. nto enough for me to start working damn hard. when will i start becoming gan cheong and everything? i dunno. i seriosuly dont. i noe alot of people will say i am digging my own grave, and to an extent its true. i'm putting faith in the fact that i will eventually deliver.

happiness. sweetness. the smell of silence.

we should all think positive.
really.
i mean, why bog yourself down with negative thoughts?
think happy, and think free.
it'll only make you happier,
more relax.
why worry and be sorry?
instead we should adopt a positive attitude to life.
yes optimism someitmes only leads to greater disappointment,
but if you dont even take the rest,
you'll definitely never understand the beauty of life.
for optimism opens your eyes to the smaller things,
to the finer details, to the tiny beauties,

succeed, or fail.
make, or break.
hunt, or be hunted.
live, or let live.
choose.

Let my weakness be my strength

weakness is a virtue.

no one wants to appear weak. everyone seeks to put on a brave front. we all put on a strong face, not wanting to be hurt. not wanting to show our weaknesses. weakness is feared. despised. why? weakness should be embraced. we must learn to accept them and not be afraid to appear weak. the person who accepts his weaknesses, who embraces his imperfection, it is he who is strongest. all of us are weak. we all have our weaknesses, some mroe than others. some hide theirs betetr than others, but we all want to hide our weaknesses. cover them up in hope no one will discover them. afraid that people will prey on them. afraid what it will show of yourselve.

but realise this. to be weak, yet to be able to strive on inspite of it, now that is strength. weakness is no fault. it is a test. of your character, of your ideals, but most importantly, of your will to succeed.

boohoo

why must i fall sick 2 days before x-country?? this is so sad... wtf.

bleh.

RAWRER part 2

rawr!!!

i was held at ransom by my own money lah!! wtf. aniwae i bought a new pair of shoes. not adidas, but quite nice lah. haha.

on a seprate note, aaron is a bitch. really. wa lau i chiong my lit essay like free liddat, and he tells me he not going back to sch cos got some dinner with his aunt. so it is highly possible i will get a 0 for a completed essay. WAD THE FUCK!?! aaron should die. DIE!

RAWRER

RAWR!!!!!!!!

today is 11 days to my bday. and u all had to give me my present so early eh? rawr.
ser en is sick lah... tink of all these kinds of weird things to do to pple..

proof:
1. subra having toothpaste squeezed all over him. dat was so funny.
2. me having all sorts of shit on me. dat was so not funny.

wa lau its damn sad lah... having whipped cream poured down my back IN THE CANTEEN! WTF!! and the whipped cream was nice lah... wad a waste. and i hate u lah wilbur + ser en + diane + pearlyn + audrey. i went to laugh at aaron and den kena until like free liddat. wa lau i looked worse off den aaron for once in my life lah... dats seriously sad...

and i looked like a monster can. its a disturbing sight, having lumps of flour stuck to ure collar, and ure whole back soaked with whipped cream. i jus threw away the shirt wtf!!

u all are so gonna pay lah. ser en u especially. all i can say is this: beware. u never know whats about to hit ya.

rawr.

you drive me crazy

this is madness. and if u didnt already noe, no 8 is kobe.

holy shit

like holy crap. there is a national swimmer named joscelin yeo. and its a guy!! like wtf?!?

i aint jokin. check out today's URBAN. the 2nd last page. joscelin yeo is a MAN. i repeat A MAN!! she's jus plain scary.

i know you're out there, somewhere out there

everytime i see your face,
it brings back those times,
the joy we shared,
the sorrow we beared.

lost in the haze that is tommorow,
our dreams,
aspirations,
hope.

what do we really want?
is this world too much for us to take?

every move you make,
its a wonder,
the life you lead so beautifully.
oen chance,
thats all there is.

could it be?
the world we love falling apart slowly.
out of place,
lost out in space.

i don want this to chnage,
i cant bear to watch you walk away.
but in the end,
nothing really does matter.

cos this is all that i have.
all that i am.

being the good little boy i am

today was more or less the start of the academic year for me.

lang arts was cool. mr chew is pretty funky. and lang arts was pretty damn interesting today.

some things to ponder upon:

1. why is science so successful? is it because it jus is so successful?

essentially yea. science is successful and so widely accepted/embraced very much because of how much it has contribtued to mankind. science has given us so much, so much so dat alot of it we take for granted. because it has achieved to much for mankind, we hence all take it dat science is thus a success.

2. generalisations. true or false? jus because the sun rises everyday, does it mean it will rise tom? can we assume something based on general behaviour?

i thot this was a pretyt interesting point dat was brought up in class. it deals largely with the human mindset. we are so accustomed to certain things, we don actually realise its there. the process dat is. like the sun rising. will the sun rise tom? can anyone say? theoretically it will, but practically will it? i think this is one of the major problems faced in science and the scientific method. we assume many things to be true. and hence from there we draw our conclusion. yet we never do consider the fact dta, maybe, factors might change.

-> from here i came out with this qn: is the truth really the truth? how do we define the truth? by theory? observation?

so, lemme try to answer this qn. the truth, in my belief, is but how we view a certain situation/phenomena etc. it is but wad we choose to believe. so is it really the truth? its hard to say. maybe, mayeb not. we define the truth, through many different methods. philosophy, science, religion etc. but how den do we "know" the truth? is it by observing a particular pattern, and hence deducing that to be the truth? much like aristotle observed dat heavier objects fell faster, hence deduced that to be thee truth. wad it the truth? at that time, yes! people believed. in that, hence that was, to them, the truth. but as we now know, they were all wrong. hence wad can we deduce? that truth, as we define it, is not fixed. it is ever changing. our understanding of a particular object/situation cannot be fixed. it has to evolve with what is considered true.

3. science vs religion.

which is more important?
its hard to say which is more important. they are both impt in their own rights. different means to understand similar things. different truths to the same phenomena. imo, science is an outward understanding, whereas religion is an inward understanding.

science does what religion cannot, which is to put figures and statistics to phenomena. science tells us more about the world around us. science lets us explore the world around us. it gives us an idea of what things are made up of. simply put, science gives us answers.

but religion gives us answers too. answers of a different sort. answers about the self. religion lets us explore the world inside of us. an inward, possibly egocentric, realisation of the self. its does not tell us wad things are made up of. instead, its attempts to tell us why things are what they are. religion puts down phenomena to the doing of a greater being.

it is often argued that religion allows for a more emotional understanding of the self. why you're here, instead of how come you're here. in religion, everything has a purpose. in science, theories are carved out of essentialy, ideas. brainwaves. sometimes totally random things.

but all in all, science and religion share one common purpose. they are both man-created ways of understanding, of trying to understand and make meaning, and finally to discover the truth.

singing two steps too fast, do make me laugh

back from camp!!! weee!!

camp was pretty fun.

ok so how was the camp? it was ok lah... i mean, the activities and all were not bad, tho some i and prob many others have played before, so theres no kick in dat. not that it aint fun. there jus isnt dat kick. u noe.

i tink this camp allowed us not only to learn wadeva shit we did, but to also noe each other better. and i tink in some ways it did. its like, when we wilbur henry and mark were up at night tokin, we, ok no at least i, did find out smthn new about each person. in terms of perspective, mindset etc.

also, i tink the camp was fun, largely due to the kind of weird things dat happened. everything from muthus to 21 to the weird bridge games to wilbur removing the flush button. weird stuff dat really made me laugh out loud. its was like sooo funny...

and it seemed to me dat the girls from our class seemed to haf clicked kind of. i mean, at least like be one group. i mean, the guys in our class are generally, in my honest opinion, more united as compared to the girls. lets hope dat changes yea.

its a new school year.
new beginnings?
guess not.
but hopefully,
things will change,
people will see,
and everyone will understand.

as they search the night for someone to hold onto

ADVERTISMENT

uh, ok. theres this performance i'm gonna be involved in. its basically a chinese performance of ali baba. yea.

when: 10 - 12 of march (fri - sun. the start of march hols)
where: kallang theatre (near indoor stadium)
show times: fri - 8pm
sat - 8pm
sun - 4pm

ticket prices: $22, $18, $15 (i not sure i haf anymore discount tix. prob not :p)

uh, if u wanna go do tell me soon. cos they havent released tickets for sale to public yet. thus pple who book thru us ie the cast will get better seats lor. so yea do tell me b4 this comin sat. yea.

hope to see u there. someday.

high high oh so high

today i went to suntec to massdance and hence soak up the victorian spirit. and i remembered jus how great it feels.

--

victorian.

its about believing.

confidence. ability. excellence.

trust in all that we do.

order of the day: passion.

rest in joy and laughter.

ignition. fire.

action.

--

of brotherhood and love. victoria thy sons are we.

woohahahaha!!!

yay!! ok so i'm not really happy. i mean, its hard to be when ure wrist is bloody killing u... ugh. pain. and i realised smthn. acupuncture isnt dat bad lah. its jus...weird. esp when they start putting current through u. l was doin my wrist, so it felt lyk there was a heart beating in my hand. lol.

and another thing. i now noe wad its like to have ure hand chopped off. its bloody difficult doin things with only 4 fingers and a thumb. its a serious handicap... lol.

on a happier note, this whole blog entry was done on my pda. ^^ haha.

wft

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
juhrjeu43koi59tu85iot987yui85rueiaoq4897uuuuuuuuuut5j4sgues]
[matchbox 20 revival] cause i'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape says:
hfhydhyd

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
4t54utgrbf[

wft. what fuck the.

my name is...

i realise smthn. in alot of my dreams, there area always guns in it. like firearms guns. and i'm always bein shot at in some way or another.

so last night/this mornin i had another series of weird dreams. nuff said.

somebody saaaavveeeee meeeeeee....

christmas wishlist

ah yes xmas is here again!! like woohoo happiness!!

ok ok so i aint dat happy. hell if there werent smthn called presents i wouldnt be happy at all. but keepin in tradition of christmas, i shall thus create a wishlist. so.

dearest santa:
wattup santa. u noe, i've been a really good boy this year. yes i really have. look, i only failed my overall by 0.2%! and i passed half my eoy papers! and i only pissed about a few dozen people off this year... AND i only 2 huge arguments with my father. that just proves how good i've this year. i don really want to go into the minor details, such as me and my friends (last time dat is) causin a huge class riff.
so in light of all the good things i've done this year (no i did not donate to no beggars), could u pls give me the following for christmas? i want:
1. an electric guitar and amp
2. chelski to start losing (i noe i'm askin for quite alot here, but pls...)
3. man u to win everygame from now till the end of the season
4. england to win the damn world cup, and erikson to drop becks
5. a new pair of adidas shoes
6. franz ferdinand's newest album
7. john steven's red
8. a 80gb external hard drive. ok ok i'll settle for 40.
9. a xbox 360 (!!! pls pls pls)
10. a tonic that will ensure i pass my re-exams. come on santa i noe u got that hidden somewhere...

u see, jus 10 things. so pls santa, make my christmas a merry one. for once.

ps. to my frens: my bday is only 44 days away...

fight kill fight kill fight kill

pain...
yea my leg hurts like fuck now. jus now went bbq was barefooted for like mroe den 7 hrs lah... played soccer, bball, ran around... my leg jus hurts. bleh. and i ate like so little... wtf.

ok so i figured vanish O2 is plain crap. MY SHIRT IS STILL DIRTY!!!! like wtf?? the stains won bloody come off >.< ugh.

on a happier note, i havent done any holiday homework at all!! wee!!! ok ok i lie. i've read wutie abit of air-conditioned nation. yea, so i've done smthn. woohoo. and i also havent really studied for my re-papers. yayness. ok ok i lie again. i've revised chem except stoichiometry and acids and bases, and i've gone through the bio eoy paper. abit. haven really touched maths. i'm like sooo screwed...

ok so i resolve to spend the next wk REALLY studyin. i really cannot afford to fail. failin is bad. i repeat, FAILING IS BAD!!! UNDERSTOODED?!? good. so, i shall be online alot less, as i shall in some miraculous way find a way to distance myself from my laptop as much as possible.
--
wonderful now to more serious things.

i've been having alot of dreams lately. however, for the past 2 nites, i've had dreamless sleep!! yay!! (ok so i haf no idea why i'm happy or anythin. blah.) if u've read my dream theory (which doesnt make alot of sense i will admit), u'd noe dat... uh, i dunno. notin really. it's jus, i dunno. its strange dat for like a gazillion continuos nights i've been having weird dreams, and den suddenly i haf dreamless sleep. strange...

oh yes another thing. KOBE BRYANT IS TH3 MAST3R!!! wahaha. he's sick man... wtf he singehandedly outscored the mavs. dats plain sick.

oh yea and another thing. i read this article in today about ronaldinho bein named TODAY's sportsperson of the yr. u noe, the guy who wrote the article, dunno wads his name, i like his articles. he always writes these kind of articles, and i like readin them. cos they tell the truth, but in this very fictional way. as in he tells it like a story. i dunno. its..inspiring.

ok yea i'm bein totally incoherent here. wtf.

i'm waitin for this sky to fall,
i'm waitin for a sign.
and all we are,
is all so far.

one more day with you...

if you only knew

treasures the ones you have,
so that you wont have to live in regret.

i heard this somewhere.

forever?

i need you to show me the way from crazy.
i wanna be so much more than this.
no one would know,
us and the moonlight.

i always believed in futures.
the past is told by those who win.
what matters is what hasnt been.
believe your voice can mean something.

please keep in sight what makes you care.
you know time heals nothing by itself.
and if you were here with me tonight,
i'd sing to you just one last time.

it doesnt seem there's hope for me,
i let you down.
the world we love forever gone?

you'd be lucky to get out of life alive

memories.
looking back, we all do that.
recall, remember, regret.
we look into the past,
hoping to find answers,
when there are none.
we all have memories,
happy, sad, all kinds.
and i realise,
its not the sad ones that hurt.
its the happy ones.
times of joy, of laughter,
of fun.
all that now in the distant past.
and on looking back,
then u realise how much u miss those times,
how much u wish it could be dat way again.
and yet, it'll never happen.
things change, they always do,
and nothing we do can stop that.

everytime i look back,
back to the times we were all so innocent.
back to the times no one really cared.
back to the times i really had fun.
looking back, i really do miss those times.

why do the happiest memories hurt the most?
its cos u realise, they are gone.
forever.
theres no turnin back the clock.
theres no way to undo whats done.
and its then u realise how much those times mean to you.
happy memories,
they are the ones that you remember best,
but that also means they are the ones hardest to let go off.
and if you cant let go,
you cant really move on.
you get trapped in your past,
clinging on to things already gone.

then,
when you realise how its stoppin you,
then it hurts the most.

the dream theory

yes. so this is a strange weird theory i've come up with.

wad do dreams mean?
do they tell us things?
about others, about ourselves?
these are some questions i seek to answer.

dreams,
i believe they are the product of our subconciousness.
disclaimer: i haf done no research whatsoever.
i believe that dreams reveal what we really think.
well after interpretation.
as far as my own dreams go,
they are always...extreme situations.
my dreams, there are real people.
people i know,
yet in foreign situations.
scenarios that have no apparent relation.

take my dream last nite for example.
this is one of the few occasions i remember anything at all.
basically it started of with me and my family leaving my grandma's house.
well in reality she stays in tamp,
but in my dream i had no idea where the hell i was.
den i got onto a 31 (which does go to tamp).
den i dunno wad happens here.
oh yes, i was rushing to school.
when i arrive at sch, and i haf no idea how,
its not vjc.
its some weird place,
and i have a strange feelin i've seen/dreamt it before.
its a school, and there are 7 floors.
one floor for one level.
top floor for staff.
yes, it was a primary school.
kong hwa primary, judging by the uniform.
i run up to the top floor, and i see...
ms sharma, my sec 2 geog tr.
she gives pieces of paper,
with stuff on it i didnt comprehend,
and i don rmb wad the hell it was.
weird stuff.
and i look out of the window,
and in the neighbouring school i see...
dunmanians.

here i wake up.

ok so lets analyse this dream.
i went to kong hwa from p1-3.
significance? not sure.
my sis studies in dunman.
meaning? dunno.
ms sharma? uh, dunno.
my family? dunno.
pieces of paper with no meanin?

so wad does this all mean?
well, my dream was made up of fragments of my self.
so are dreams that?
unrelated fragments of our thoughts, our past, our selfs?

i tink in some part yes.
but there must be meaning somewhere.
there always is.

one thing i remembered from my dream.
acutally alot of dreams are as such.
i'm always running.
wad does that mean?
i'm not sure really.

someone, somewhere,
do enlighten me.

dreams are the manifestation of our subconcious mind,
they, i beleive, show us what we really think.
when your dream includes people you know,
i could possibly be showing you how you really feel towards them.

that is of course,
if you first can rmb anything.

--

i think i'm goin crazy.
help.

SOS

um, my template kinda disappeared. like woohoo. ok so i discovered this some time ago, but nvm.
leon?

so aniwae the song now is hear you me by jimmy eat world. damn nice song, but i suggest you don listen to it if ure feeling really down. lets just say it won help.

sigh. i don really believe it, but i shall start work and revision soon, soon bein like a few hours from now. what the hell.

is this how it ends?

is it?
must it?

you know i wish it werent this way.
i dont want it to end.
not ever.

but, i dont know.
am i giving up?
i dont even know.
i tell myself not to,
but things just dont seem that way.
as much as i dont want to admit it,
i guess it is true.
this could just be the end.

i really dont want to,
but if it really is for the best,
if there really is no other alternative,
then i guess i dont really have a choice.

holding each other's hands,
it only takes one to break away.

and well, you've got Him now.
more so then ever it appears.
and it seems this is where our differences lay.
in faith.
at the end of the day,
i guess you're right.
it will be for the best.
for you, maybe for me.

if you're reading this,
and i believe you are,
i'm sorry.
for your sake,
maybe it really is time for us to part ways.
you've got things to do,
a faith to believe in,
and i wont stand in your way.
i promise i wont mess it up.
yes, our lives are so different,
and i think we both need some time apart.
i've got thinking to be done,
re-papers to be faced,
and its probably best i do it alone.
you once said maybe you were too reliant on me.
i'm thinking, was i too reliant on you?
and i dont know.
i guess its also time for me to face this world on my own.
we promised never to say goodbye.
and i hope, maybe one day,
we can talk this over.
again.

i'm sorry.

love,
desmond.

please. i beg you.

i'm sorry. but why? i dont understand.

if this is really it, at least...

at least give me a conclusion.

deadpan

death is over-rated.










































































~to be continued~

please read this

hello everyone. i have a book reccommendation to make. At the present moment, i am currently reading a book titled Skeptics and True Believers: The Exhilarating Connection Between Science and Religion.

This book basically looks at the difference between science and religion, and how the two are related. It looks at people's general perception of science and religion, the progress of these two schools of thought throughout time, and how today's society is influenced by the forces that are science and religion.

I believe that everyone should read this book. This is for a variety of reasons:
1. It is very well written. The writer, Chet Raymo, writes pretty damn well.
2. Chet Raymo uses alot of statistical evidence to support his claims.
3. The book will give you more insights about science and religion, and their roles in today's society. Raymo analyses the various different aspects very thoroughly, to give a complete picture.
4. The book is written as objectively as possible. Raymo tells the reader at the beginning his stand, but also looks at the pther poinht-of-view.
5. The writer was a christian when young, hence he has experience with Christianity.

Nb. I think that especially Christians should read this book. I'm sure we all know my stand on religion and Christianity in particular, but this book gives you an objective take on very pertinent issues. Also, Raymo does not in any way put down or malign Christianity. He does not attack it, instead showing how Christianity is relevant in the past and now, just as science is. He does nto take a particular side fuly, instead putting forward the claim that without either facet, science or belief, the human mind isnt complete.

better than this

haiz.
its the holidays once again,
and i'm reminded once more,
why school was such a wonderful place.
reminded why i enjoyed myself so much.
reminded why i really do miss times in school.

the holidays.
yes its a break,
but is it really?
do we actually get a break?
i dont.
everyday is a bloody torture,
everynight bleeding painful.

someone tell me.
why is it that parents cant shut up?
why is it that parents never see the need to chat with friends?
why is it that using the computer for personal purposes is wrong?
why is it that listening to music is wrong?
how is it that a father can come home irritated, shout at everyone, and expects everyone to do exactly as he demands?
i seek answers,
answers that arent forthcoming.

its times like these,
when i realise just how much home means to me.
or doesnt.
everyday having to listen to the same old crap,
over and over again like a broken record,
its tiresome.
and i realise,
i dont really care about this family.
i really dont.
the value of family is lost to me.
whatever it stands for,
i no longer believe.
i've lost faith.
or rather my faith hsa been broken.

walking out is not an issue.
not now.
many might say i'm jus bein rebellious and shit,
but in all honesty,
i'm more than willing to leave.
if someone, somewhere,
could take me in,
or if i could somehow find a way of supporting myself,
i will leave.

we should plan for our future.
yes i agree.
but different people plan different things.
and i have some of my plans made.
i'm running away.
is it a short term solution?
yes.
is it a feasible solution?
i dunno.
but will i live to regret that decision?
no.

i guess yeah we must plan.
but dont over-plan.
well maybe its just me.
i don like the structure,
the need to fix things.
i'd rather take things as they come,
to live for the moment.
i want to enjoy my time.
to enjoys the times.
planning, it takes away that sweet sensation.
the exhilaration.

sweet emotion.
its not rock and roll.

ouch

ok i'm like having mental block, so cant really blog properly. so i shall jus be bloggin short reandom posts.

ok so like yesterday i went for cai pai, and den cos we damn free notin to do, so we took out cards and played. i learnt dat:
1. betting push-ups sucks. for me that is. i mean, when u play daidi and like haf to do 44, and ure as weak as me, it aint good.
2. playing poker nailbiting. what more with the kind of people we haf. i mean, its the kind of chiong pple who don worry about doin push-ups. like one round we bidded until 55 push-ups. ow. lucky i won dat one ^^
3. bballers are scary. like strong scary.
4. this is ideal for our performance, cos we're gonna be close to bare bodied. if we keep at this everyone's gonna haf a 6 pack by then...
5. it hurts. my arms are closeto dead now. i cant even swing them, nor can i carry anythin much...

zz dats it. i'm in pain. and bloody bored. this is so crappy. shall find somethin to blog about soon.