Let my weakness be my strength

weakness is a virtue.

no one wants to appear weak. everyone seeks to put on a brave front. we all put on a strong face, not wanting to be hurt. not wanting to show our weaknesses. weakness is feared. despised. why? weakness should be embraced. we must learn to accept them and not be afraid to appear weak. the person who accepts his weaknesses, who embraces his imperfection, it is he who is strongest. all of us are weak. we all have our weaknesses, some mroe than others. some hide theirs betetr than others, but we all want to hide our weaknesses. cover them up in hope no one will discover them. afraid that people will prey on them. afraid what it will show of yourselve.

but realise this. to be weak, yet to be able to strive on inspite of it, now that is strength. weakness is no fault. it is a test. of your character, of your ideals, but most importantly, of your will to succeed.

boohoo

why must i fall sick 2 days before x-country?? this is so sad... wtf.

bleh.

RAWRER part 2

rawr!!!

i was held at ransom by my own money lah!! wtf. aniwae i bought a new pair of shoes. not adidas, but quite nice lah. haha.

on a seprate note, aaron is a bitch. really. wa lau i chiong my lit essay like free liddat, and he tells me he not going back to sch cos got some dinner with his aunt. so it is highly possible i will get a 0 for a completed essay. WAD THE FUCK!?! aaron should die. DIE!

RAWRER

RAWR!!!!!!!!

today is 11 days to my bday. and u all had to give me my present so early eh? rawr.
ser en is sick lah... tink of all these kinds of weird things to do to pple..

proof:
1. subra having toothpaste squeezed all over him. dat was so funny.
2. me having all sorts of shit on me. dat was so not funny.

wa lau its damn sad lah... having whipped cream poured down my back IN THE CANTEEN! WTF!! and the whipped cream was nice lah... wad a waste. and i hate u lah wilbur + ser en + diane + pearlyn + audrey. i went to laugh at aaron and den kena until like free liddat. wa lau i looked worse off den aaron for once in my life lah... dats seriously sad...

and i looked like a monster can. its a disturbing sight, having lumps of flour stuck to ure collar, and ure whole back soaked with whipped cream. i jus threw away the shirt wtf!!

u all are so gonna pay lah. ser en u especially. all i can say is this: beware. u never know whats about to hit ya.

rawr.

you drive me crazy

this is madness. and if u didnt already noe, no 8 is kobe.

holy shit

like holy crap. there is a national swimmer named joscelin yeo. and its a guy!! like wtf?!?

i aint jokin. check out today's URBAN. the 2nd last page. joscelin yeo is a MAN. i repeat A MAN!! she's jus plain scary.

i know you're out there, somewhere out there

everytime i see your face,
it brings back those times,
the joy we shared,
the sorrow we beared.

lost in the haze that is tommorow,
our dreams,
aspirations,
hope.

what do we really want?
is this world too much for us to take?

every move you make,
its a wonder,
the life you lead so beautifully.
oen chance,
thats all there is.

could it be?
the world we love falling apart slowly.
out of place,
lost out in space.

i don want this to chnage,
i cant bear to watch you walk away.
but in the end,
nothing really does matter.

cos this is all that i have.
all that i am.

being the good little boy i am

today was more or less the start of the academic year for me.

lang arts was cool. mr chew is pretty funky. and lang arts was pretty damn interesting today.

some things to ponder upon:

1. why is science so successful? is it because it jus is so successful?

essentially yea. science is successful and so widely accepted/embraced very much because of how much it has contribtued to mankind. science has given us so much, so much so dat alot of it we take for granted. because it has achieved to much for mankind, we hence all take it dat science is thus a success.

2. generalisations. true or false? jus because the sun rises everyday, does it mean it will rise tom? can we assume something based on general behaviour?

i thot this was a pretyt interesting point dat was brought up in class. it deals largely with the human mindset. we are so accustomed to certain things, we don actually realise its there. the process dat is. like the sun rising. will the sun rise tom? can anyone say? theoretically it will, but practically will it? i think this is one of the major problems faced in science and the scientific method. we assume many things to be true. and hence from there we draw our conclusion. yet we never do consider the fact dta, maybe, factors might change.

-> from here i came out with this qn: is the truth really the truth? how do we define the truth? by theory? observation?

so, lemme try to answer this qn. the truth, in my belief, is but how we view a certain situation/phenomena etc. it is but wad we choose to believe. so is it really the truth? its hard to say. maybe, mayeb not. we define the truth, through many different methods. philosophy, science, religion etc. but how den do we "know" the truth? is it by observing a particular pattern, and hence deducing that to be the truth? much like aristotle observed dat heavier objects fell faster, hence deduced that to be thee truth. wad it the truth? at that time, yes! people believed. in that, hence that was, to them, the truth. but as we now know, they were all wrong. hence wad can we deduce? that truth, as we define it, is not fixed. it is ever changing. our understanding of a particular object/situation cannot be fixed. it has to evolve with what is considered true.

3. science vs religion.

which is more important?
its hard to say which is more important. they are both impt in their own rights. different means to understand similar things. different truths to the same phenomena. imo, science is an outward understanding, whereas religion is an inward understanding.

science does what religion cannot, which is to put figures and statistics to phenomena. science tells us more about the world around us. science lets us explore the world around us. it gives us an idea of what things are made up of. simply put, science gives us answers.

but religion gives us answers too. answers of a different sort. answers about the self. religion lets us explore the world inside of us. an inward, possibly egocentric, realisation of the self. its does not tell us wad things are made up of. instead, its attempts to tell us why things are what they are. religion puts down phenomena to the doing of a greater being.

it is often argued that religion allows for a more emotional understanding of the self. why you're here, instead of how come you're here. in religion, everything has a purpose. in science, theories are carved out of essentialy, ideas. brainwaves. sometimes totally random things.

but all in all, science and religion share one common purpose. they are both man-created ways of understanding, of trying to understand and make meaning, and finally to discover the truth.

singing two steps too fast, do make me laugh

back from camp!!! weee!!

camp was pretty fun.

ok so how was the camp? it was ok lah... i mean, the activities and all were not bad, tho some i and prob many others have played before, so theres no kick in dat. not that it aint fun. there jus isnt dat kick. u noe.

i tink this camp allowed us not only to learn wadeva shit we did, but to also noe each other better. and i tink in some ways it did. its like, when we wilbur henry and mark were up at night tokin, we, ok no at least i, did find out smthn new about each person. in terms of perspective, mindset etc.

also, i tink the camp was fun, largely due to the kind of weird things dat happened. everything from muthus to 21 to the weird bridge games to wilbur removing the flush button. weird stuff dat really made me laugh out loud. its was like sooo funny...

and it seemed to me dat the girls from our class seemed to haf clicked kind of. i mean, at least like be one group. i mean, the guys in our class are generally, in my honest opinion, more united as compared to the girls. lets hope dat changes yea.

its a new school year.
new beginnings?
guess not.
but hopefully,
things will change,
people will see,
and everyone will understand.

as they search the night for someone to hold onto

ADVERTISMENT

uh, ok. theres this performance i'm gonna be involved in. its basically a chinese performance of ali baba. yea.

when: 10 - 12 of march (fri - sun. the start of march hols)
where: kallang theatre (near indoor stadium)
show times: fri - 8pm
sat - 8pm
sun - 4pm

ticket prices: $22, $18, $15 (i not sure i haf anymore discount tix. prob not :p)

uh, if u wanna go do tell me soon. cos they havent released tickets for sale to public yet. thus pple who book thru us ie the cast will get better seats lor. so yea do tell me b4 this comin sat. yea.

hope to see u there. someday.

high high oh so high

today i went to suntec to massdance and hence soak up the victorian spirit. and i remembered jus how great it feels.

--

victorian.

its about believing.

confidence. ability. excellence.

trust in all that we do.

order of the day: passion.

rest in joy and laughter.

ignition. fire.

action.

--

of brotherhood and love. victoria thy sons are we.

woohahahaha!!!

yay!! ok so i'm not really happy. i mean, its hard to be when ure wrist is bloody killing u... ugh. pain. and i realised smthn. acupuncture isnt dat bad lah. its jus...weird. esp when they start putting current through u. l was doin my wrist, so it felt lyk there was a heart beating in my hand. lol.

and another thing. i now noe wad its like to have ure hand chopped off. its bloody difficult doin things with only 4 fingers and a thumb. its a serious handicap... lol.

on a happier note, this whole blog entry was done on my pda. ^^ haha.

wft

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
juhrjeu43koi59tu85iot987yui85rueiaoq4897uuuuuuuuuut5j4sgues]
[matchbox 20 revival] cause i'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape says:
hfhydhyd

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
4t54utgrbf[

wft. what fuck the.

my name is...

i realise smthn. in alot of my dreams, there area always guns in it. like firearms guns. and i'm always bein shot at in some way or another.

so last night/this mornin i had another series of weird dreams. nuff said.

somebody saaaavveeeee meeeeeee....

christmas wishlist

ah yes xmas is here again!! like woohoo happiness!!

ok ok so i aint dat happy. hell if there werent smthn called presents i wouldnt be happy at all. but keepin in tradition of christmas, i shall thus create a wishlist. so.

dearest santa:
wattup santa. u noe, i've been a really good boy this year. yes i really have. look, i only failed my overall by 0.2%! and i passed half my eoy papers! and i only pissed about a few dozen people off this year... AND i only 2 huge arguments with my father. that just proves how good i've this year. i don really want to go into the minor details, such as me and my friends (last time dat is) causin a huge class riff.
so in light of all the good things i've done this year (no i did not donate to no beggars), could u pls give me the following for christmas? i want:
1. an electric guitar and amp
2. chelski to start losing (i noe i'm askin for quite alot here, but pls...)
3. man u to win everygame from now till the end of the season
4. england to win the damn world cup, and erikson to drop becks
5. a new pair of adidas shoes
6. franz ferdinand's newest album
7. john steven's red
8. a 80gb external hard drive. ok ok i'll settle for 40.
9. a xbox 360 (!!! pls pls pls)
10. a tonic that will ensure i pass my re-exams. come on santa i noe u got that hidden somewhere...

u see, jus 10 things. so pls santa, make my christmas a merry one. for once.

ps. to my frens: my bday is only 44 days away...

fight kill fight kill fight kill

pain...
yea my leg hurts like fuck now. jus now went bbq was barefooted for like mroe den 7 hrs lah... played soccer, bball, ran around... my leg jus hurts. bleh. and i ate like so little... wtf.

ok so i figured vanish O2 is plain crap. MY SHIRT IS STILL DIRTY!!!! like wtf?? the stains won bloody come off >.< ugh.

on a happier note, i havent done any holiday homework at all!! wee!!! ok ok i lie. i've read wutie abit of air-conditioned nation. yea, so i've done smthn. woohoo. and i also havent really studied for my re-papers. yayness. ok ok i lie again. i've revised chem except stoichiometry and acids and bases, and i've gone through the bio eoy paper. abit. haven really touched maths. i'm like sooo screwed...

ok so i resolve to spend the next wk REALLY studyin. i really cannot afford to fail. failin is bad. i repeat, FAILING IS BAD!!! UNDERSTOODED?!? good. so, i shall be online alot less, as i shall in some miraculous way find a way to distance myself from my laptop as much as possible.
--
wonderful now to more serious things.

i've been having alot of dreams lately. however, for the past 2 nites, i've had dreamless sleep!! yay!! (ok so i haf no idea why i'm happy or anythin. blah.) if u've read my dream theory (which doesnt make alot of sense i will admit), u'd noe dat... uh, i dunno. notin really. it's jus, i dunno. its strange dat for like a gazillion continuos nights i've been having weird dreams, and den suddenly i haf dreamless sleep. strange...

oh yes another thing. KOBE BRYANT IS TH3 MAST3R!!! wahaha. he's sick man... wtf he singehandedly outscored the mavs. dats plain sick.

oh yea and another thing. i read this article in today about ronaldinho bein named TODAY's sportsperson of the yr. u noe, the guy who wrote the article, dunno wads his name, i like his articles. he always writes these kind of articles, and i like readin them. cos they tell the truth, but in this very fictional way. as in he tells it like a story. i dunno. its..inspiring.

ok yea i'm bein totally incoherent here. wtf.

i'm waitin for this sky to fall,
i'm waitin for a sign.
and all we are,
is all so far.

one more day with you...

if you only knew

treasures the ones you have,
so that you wont have to live in regret.

i heard this somewhere.

forever?

i need you to show me the way from crazy.
i wanna be so much more than this.
no one would know,
us and the moonlight.

i always believed in futures.
the past is told by those who win.
what matters is what hasnt been.
believe your voice can mean something.

please keep in sight what makes you care.
you know time heals nothing by itself.
and if you were here with me tonight,
i'd sing to you just one last time.

it doesnt seem there's hope for me,
i let you down.
the world we love forever gone?

you'd be lucky to get out of life alive

memories.
looking back, we all do that.
recall, remember, regret.
we look into the past,
hoping to find answers,
when there are none.
we all have memories,
happy, sad, all kinds.
and i realise,
its not the sad ones that hurt.
its the happy ones.
times of joy, of laughter,
of fun.
all that now in the distant past.
and on looking back,
then u realise how much u miss those times,
how much u wish it could be dat way again.
and yet, it'll never happen.
things change, they always do,
and nothing we do can stop that.

everytime i look back,
back to the times we were all so innocent.
back to the times no one really cared.
back to the times i really had fun.
looking back, i really do miss those times.

why do the happiest memories hurt the most?
its cos u realise, they are gone.
forever.
theres no turnin back the clock.
theres no way to undo whats done.
and its then u realise how much those times mean to you.
happy memories,
they are the ones that you remember best,
but that also means they are the ones hardest to let go off.
and if you cant let go,
you cant really move on.
you get trapped in your past,
clinging on to things already gone.

then,
when you realise how its stoppin you,
then it hurts the most.

the dream theory

yes. so this is a strange weird theory i've come up with.

wad do dreams mean?
do they tell us things?
about others, about ourselves?
these are some questions i seek to answer.

dreams,
i believe they are the product of our subconciousness.
disclaimer: i haf done no research whatsoever.
i believe that dreams reveal what we really think.
well after interpretation.
as far as my own dreams go,
they are always...extreme situations.
my dreams, there are real people.
people i know,
yet in foreign situations.
scenarios that have no apparent relation.

take my dream last nite for example.
this is one of the few occasions i remember anything at all.
basically it started of with me and my family leaving my grandma's house.
well in reality she stays in tamp,
but in my dream i had no idea where the hell i was.
den i got onto a 31 (which does go to tamp).
den i dunno wad happens here.
oh yes, i was rushing to school.
when i arrive at sch, and i haf no idea how,
its not vjc.
its some weird place,
and i have a strange feelin i've seen/dreamt it before.
its a school, and there are 7 floors.
one floor for one level.
top floor for staff.
yes, it was a primary school.
kong hwa primary, judging by the uniform.
i run up to the top floor, and i see...
ms sharma, my sec 2 geog tr.
she gives pieces of paper,
with stuff on it i didnt comprehend,
and i don rmb wad the hell it was.
weird stuff.
and i look out of the window,
and in the neighbouring school i see...
dunmanians.

here i wake up.

ok so lets analyse this dream.
i went to kong hwa from p1-3.
significance? not sure.
my sis studies in dunman.
meaning? dunno.
ms sharma? uh, dunno.
my family? dunno.
pieces of paper with no meanin?

so wad does this all mean?
well, my dream was made up of fragments of my self.
so are dreams that?
unrelated fragments of our thoughts, our past, our selfs?

i tink in some part yes.
but there must be meaning somewhere.
there always is.

one thing i remembered from my dream.
acutally alot of dreams are as such.
i'm always running.
wad does that mean?
i'm not sure really.

someone, somewhere,
do enlighten me.

dreams are the manifestation of our subconcious mind,
they, i beleive, show us what we really think.
when your dream includes people you know,
i could possibly be showing you how you really feel towards them.

that is of course,
if you first can rmb anything.

--

i think i'm goin crazy.
help.