three fucking lions my fucking ass

fuck it. mclaren is a fucking moron. and i am damn pissed.

seriously. i realise, mclaren is as pathetically fucked up as sven was. droppin beckham is the only decently smart thing he has done. seriously. he is a lousy tactician. there must be a reason he was only assistant manager at man u and manager at, -.-, middlesbrough. and he's jus like eriksson. he aint got the balls to drop players. lampard shldnt be playing, cos he's playing shit now. carrick shld haf been gone by half time, considerin he wasnt fucking doin nuts other den passin the ball 5 metres to the defenders. gerrard was pretty much shit and leaving the flank open, and he too shld haf been gone. wright-phillips shld fucking haf been on the whole time, jus based on wad he did in the fuckin 20 mins he was given. and downing was the best friggin midfielder on hte pitch tonite and of course he gets taken off. take of gerrard/lampard? in ure fucking dreams. the way its goin, singapore could fucking beat england. i'm serious.

i hope the fucking fa fucking sacks mclaren like next wk. argh. if they even gonna haf a chance to win anything, they need a much smarter, more capable manager hu has balls. they need a fucking foreigner.

scolaaaaariiiiiiiiiiii.................

O_O

this is possibly the weirdest conversation i've EVER had.

char. says:
i dreamt of my perfect guy last night, you know
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
O_O
wad was he like o.0
char. says:
hot
sweet
funny
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
no duh -.-
char. says:
smart
geeky
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
haha
char. says:
take scott
plus seth cohen
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
OOOHHHHHH SETH COHEN
!!!
char. says:
and a bit of goofyness
sigh
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
u haf good taste
char. says:
do you have cheap trick?
yes, thanks, i know
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
ure dream guy sounds like my dream guy :P
char. says:
eww no!
go away
MINE, okay?
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
oh and u noe cheap trick was featured in john tucker
char. says:
back off, bitch!
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
hahaha
we share
char. says:
yes i know
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
:D
char. says:
NO
fuck you! go away!
he's MINEEEEEEEEEEEEE
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
the scott guy was like singin i want u to want me it was hilarious
char. says:
yes
i know
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
i'll stab u den go fuck himn
char. says:
obliged to sing, right?
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
^^
char. says:
haha
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
hahahaha
char. says:
oh god
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
i was singin along to time after time
char. says:
now you're gay?!
and you're out to fuck MY boy?
strange is a guy droolin over a hot guy and a girl droolin over a hot lesbian kiss. WTF says:
if he is dat hot i don mind
this convo is soooooo goin on my blog
like now
char. says:
for the record, FUCK YOU, DESMOND!!

--

dat is one hell of a fucked up convo. but for the record, i'm not gay. not now at least. really.

wrong way on a one way track

gah. i need a ipod with more space. preferably a ipod video. bleh. my current 4 sad gbs means dat my ipod can contain a max of 800+ songs. this of course means that about 90+% of the songs are rock songs in some form or another. WTF. even when i shuffle my songs in the ipod i also almost always skip all the pop sings, which means i'm listenin to rock and more rock. anythin from acoustic to classic to alt to emo. gosh.

i need perspective. shivers

i'm so bored i can cry

haiz. i dunno why but suddenly playing the guitar alone feels weird. its like, somethings jus not rite. i tink char has put too many ideas into my head. grrr. why cant the a levels like end nexy wk or smthn........ blehhhhh.

lonely, i am so lonely. haha. mwadeva man.

i am pekchek

seriously i am pissed. after the exams i am gonna start on some serious running bleh. today play soccer wa lu run 10 mins tired liao, abit the fucked up lah. gah. and i'm also quite sad teh way i played today. it felt like i was a step behind everything. so screwed. on a brigther note, i scored a pretty nice goal :D haha. at least the shot was sweet.

zz badly deprived of movies little me went to watch john tucker today, and the scott guy aka the other tucker is fuckin hot. like omg. and the girl is also pretty chio, with the exception of her four pack which i found highly disturbin. seriously. girls should NOTNOTNOTNOTNOTNOT haf anythin more than one nice pack aka a nice flat stomach. anythin more is jus plain wrong.

haha. the scott guy is hot. if i were gay i'd go after him for sure. but den again, i'm not gay =D

dont panic

do you tink anyone cares?
do u tink anything u say matters?
no one really listens to anything u say.
no one trust u.
no one is gonna bother to understand u.
no one will bother to decipher wad u mean.

seriously, snap out of it.
everyone's moving on around u.
why must it be u hus stuck in the trenches of ure history?

and i have come to realise this: i cant not care.
laugh. ok now dat ure done laughing, its true.
sadly, its not smthn i like or want.
but regardless, nothing changes the fact that i am affected.

ure a joke.
pple are laughing at you.
everyone's so far away.

i'm sick. like disturbed sick. mentally whacked.
or maybe. i'm obsessed.
no. i'm deprived.
yes dats prob it.

she's drilling holes in my head.
she's making me squirm in my dreams.
she's holding on to my breath.
she's haunts my every waking moment.
is she all that i have?

when the good bad and ugly all become the same damn thing

i am slightly surprised it took me this long to realise this, but now i've realised, when ure feeling like shit, the worst thing u could do, is to try to be happy. really. i mean, lets face it. whatever u do, when ure feeling like shit, ure feeling like shit. nothing u do is gonna change that. and trying to be happy, that makes it worse init? i mean, u try and try, yet u won succeed. dat sucks. and whilst tinkin about good times will help, too much of it will also make u feel even worse. or so i believe. i tink the best way is to jus drown in the frustration and anger and depression and everything. yea really. like go listen to depressing music, watch depressing tv, do depressing things, talk depressingly, do everything with that little bit more edge. i tink thats the way to get over it the best. its like rubbing salt into a wound. it'll hurt like fuck, but it'll get better faster. i've done it before, it sorta worked. den again, i tink its best not to trust me.

i'm not sad. i really aint.
even if i may look it, i'm not.
i'm jus...not happy.
theres nothing much to be happy about.
i'm jus trying my best not to feel much.
maybe its better of this way.
to have nothing,
den to haf something den throw it away.

lala. i don even noe why i do things sometimes.
ok not sometimes.
most times.

the quest to fail maths

yay i shall kop a quiz thing.

The rules:
Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italicise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the fibs alone.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe , free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair. (gor a guy)
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I'm currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (?)
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I somehow enjoyed this thingy!!!
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

what does all these mean? it means that i'm gonna fucking fail the maths paper tom. yay me

ahhhhhh

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXPeEmKqeJQ&mode=related&search=

crouch is god. wad the fuck. i mean seriously. hes a friggin beanpole. ball comes in, he tries a bicycle. he could scuff it, laugh and walk away. he could totally miss the ball, make a fool of himself, laugh at walk away. he could misjudge and let it hit his head, make a TOTAL fool of himself, laugh and walk away. wad does he do?? he hits it like a bitch. bam straight into the corner. i tink the keeper didnt move cos he was too stunned by the fact crouch actually attempts a bicycle, prob tinkin it was gonna fly away somewhere. hah. wads more it was a technically perfect shot. 100% perfect contact. damn. a bullet if i ever saw one. reminds me of andy "i'm gonna do a bicycle whenever i can
cole. woo.

and i keep tellin everyone crouch is fuckin good and no one fucking believes me. well NOW do u believe me?

a completely pointless meaningless and neccessary post

tamper tampering tampered.

i like eating eggs. even with the cholestral and shit. and i thoroughly enjoy scrambled eggs with bbq sauce. its nice. jus as i like condensed mlik dissolved in hot water or cold milk. i'd rather cold milk. i generally like seafood. i like meat alot also. altho prob beef more than anythin else. ok i'm done with my 4 eggs. i shall go make my cup noodles.

ok i am back. and i haf forgotten wad i was tinkin about. well anyway now i'm tinkin about wad it means to be selfish of generous. which is worse really? tink about it. being generous makes u friends, being selfish can save ure life. which brings me to the question of which is worse? being too generous or too selfish?

i like making list. they give me some sort of comfort. some kind of control i rarely have. they give me smthn to do, smthn to place meaning in when theres nothing left.

oh yes i rmb now. i was tinkin about books. specifically war books. reacently i've been drawn to war books, and i find them very interestin and relevant. i tink wars are cool. i wan to fight a fucking war. the whole concept of warring is rather ironic. u spend months, years of your life preparing and training and preparing and training, and when it really comes down to it, its jus a matter of seconds. enemy? shoot. finish. end of fucking story. and at least from the books i've read, it seems like war brings out a different side of everyone. those fighting, those at home, those orchestrating the war. maybe its cos of the simple fact that wars are so...rare. unlike crime or natural disasters or anything else, war is just so infrequent. so much so that its a new experience for about everyone entrenched in it. which den of course means that no one really noes how to react. everyones new, everyones equal. everyone's on the brink of death. everyones that much closer to the end.

i've had very strange conversations with pple b4. from topics like respecting penises and vaginas to jus random meaningless bullshit. strange nonetheless. its funny.

u noe, somewhere, there is both a kid and an adult inside all of us. and i tink pple shouldnt try so hard to suppress any of those characters. it makes u one-dimensional. wheres the fun in that?? i mean, there are times we shld all jus act like kids. jus forget everything, embrace innocence once more. i don tink pple do this enough. its really quite sad. den again, there are times we shld, well, jus be mroe grown up. it sounds quite stupid and ompossible, but i tink its true. its like someone with the mental maturity of a 5 yr old in the body of a 16 yr old who sounds like an alien from mars. u know.

and another thing. the bus stop opp sch is actually a very good place for stoning. or well if u'd rather do it a place for reflection, a locale for embracing the past and anticipating the future. i don even noe wad the fuck i'm saying. point is, its a good place for stoning. why? cos one its not terribly ulu. so theres enough activity to keep one interested and entertained. two its not too noisy. three the roads quite wide, so its not all dusty and smoky and stuff. and four its a convenient place cos there are so many buses, so getting around/away shld not be a problem. i've taken to stonin quite abit over at that bus stop. it, i tink, keeps me mildly sane. at least after sch.

if ever you want to talk to me or tell me smthn or basically jus get my attention, and i'm listenin to my music and not lookin at u, kick me. its really the only way to get my attention. that or jump in front of my face and act like a clown. now that will get my attention. anyway its cos my music will be blastin at a volume that basically nullifies everything that is happenin around me. so rmb: kick me.

am i toying with fate,
or is fate toying with me?
actually, i shld jus do smthn about it.
yeah right.

inspiration

last nite i read jarhead. and i've decided its a good book. the movie was m18 i tink >.> wtf. everyone go read it. it deals with quite pertinent issues.

aniwae, somethings seriously wrong with me now. i jus broke another glass container. fucking hell. seriously my brain is all fucked up now. i'm becomin mad i tink.

ok ok i'm off to stalk pple. cya later...

stalker complex

i tink i haf a stalker complex. yes. wtf.

today i saw that girl again. den again, its not like i totally didnt expect it.

i haf a stalker complex. not that i really stalk pple per se, but, well, i guess i'm very much inclined to. the way i'm rather particular in remembering where people stay, the way i want to stalk pple, its all very disturbing.

what am i doin to myself really. you noe i noe we all noe its but jus a dream, jus a dream, jus a dream.

i am quite scared of myself. really. cos of the fact that i am very much a perfectionist. a very poorly disciplined one, but a perfectionist nonetheless. and i noe that if there is smthn i wan done, badly enuff, it will get done. like say stalking someone. i believe that if i wanted to, i could really do it.

its like, i'm doin this to myself. i'm exertin this torture unto myself. why? why?

dont want to live for wasted tomorrows...

the world you love

dats no officially my song of the moment. yep. not jus cos its a jimmy eat world song, but cos its a really nice song, and the lyrics are...relevant. to say the least. the song makes me feel. but u noe, dats jus me.

an u noe, these kinds of moods,
they are self sustaining.
cos i'm hatin myself for being so moody,
and my response?
get even moodier.
so, its really a vicious cycle.
i'm hating everything i do,
yet theres notin else but to do wad i'm doin.
dats how it is really.
and you know when life gives you lemons,
it doesnt rain it pours.
really.
life has a way of doin dat to u.
when it seems like you hate everything around you,
life conveniantly puts more things there for you to hate.
i'm not jokin.
of course the logical explanation is that its a matter of perception,
cos when you're feeling like shit,
everything else seems like shit.
but really. the kind of mood dat i am,
logical isnt an option.
so why does life do this to us?
constantly laughing in our faces,
kicking us when we are down.
its like how jus now on the way home on the bus,
i saw the prettiest girl i've seen in a long time.
and it makes me wonder,
is it these kinds of moments dat define who we are?
cos if anything else,
it applifies things.
it makes everything look so much more.
so maybe the girl wasnt daaat pretty. (she was)
maybe its cos i'm feelin so shit that she jus appears to be prettier.
its like how everything else around me jus seems...better.
more right. more perfect.
thats how it is den isnt it.
self-pity? its a very fine line.
i mean, self-pity isnt good,
no pity isnt good either.
yesterday i watch grey's anatomy,
and i tink the one thing i remember most,
other den the absolutely gory nature of the show,
is this very true fact of life:
its all about finding a balance.
yea. in the show it was about life and death.
in life, maybe not so much.
den again, maybe its the little issues that really matter.
it the small things we don care about that really affects us the most.
i believe that.

its not like i want to be like this.
i dont. i really dont.
its not helping at all,
considerin i'm 5 days from my exams,
and i feel like murdering half the pple i see,
and stuffin the other half in a box.

i honestly think alot of pple are too selfish.
ok so thats pretty duh.
but the thing is i don tink enough pple acknowledge this fact.
i'm selfish, i know it.
and i accept it.
do i do things about it?
i try, i really do.
but everytime i look around me,
i don tink pple even know they are selfish.
and its not in the very obvious things.
its very subtle, and maybe dats where the problem is.
its not obvious enough such that its screamin in pple's faces,
and hence we all jus pass it off as smthn else.
covering it up.
like "aiya he's jus liddat one lahh",
or "zz ure being over sensitive!".
ok so maybe i am,
but that still doesnt change the fact that there are so many pple out there,
unaware of their own selfish ways.
and its scary.
i think we shld all try harder.
to do many things.
to know who we are,
but more importantly to realise who we are to others.
to realise that the worlds bigger than outselves.
i know it sounds very preachy and idealistic,
but face it, its the truth.
we all are too selfish, too naive, too egoistic.
haiz wads the difference aniwae?
its not like anyones gonna change.
for a start who even takes me seriously -.-

i wish someone'd jus understand.
but haha, its asking a tad too much eh.

i've got alot of figuring out to do,
after the exams are done.
yea, the exams.
this exams is really screwin me up.
i tink the muggin is the cause of me falling ill twice in 3 wks,
in addition to all the other little nuances that has infested my life.
its also messing with my head.
i'm not the person i used to be,
but dats probably a good thing. for now.
but once the exams are done, ahhh.
i'd jus feel so much freer.
that word doesnt exist, but yea.
it'll jus be so relax.
theres so much i want to do.
so so much.
i cant wait.

have u ever had this experience?
where you want something so very much,
but when u finally do get it,
u realise its the worst thing that has ever happened to u?
well i haven been through something like this before.
but i'm afraid i mite.
i'm afraid,
the coming together could finally spell the falling apart.
i jus hope not.

"we're only just as happy, as everyone else seems to think we are"

crikey ure crikey

i tink the whole steve irwin thing got/is gettin abit too much lah. i tink pple are over doin it, much like the singapore govt did the durai thing. but aniwae dats not really my point. actually throughout this whole steve irwin dying thingy, i really didnt care much for it, considerin i havent watched a single episode of his shows, and i do agree with critics he's somewhat of a moron to be messing with dangerous creatures u KNOW can and will try to bite ure head off. a brave idiot if i ever saw one. no anyway the only reason why i could even feel sad is cos it reminded me of someone else hu died. eddie guerero. haiz. its like everytime someone mentions steve irwin my mind automatically rewinds back to dat one episode of raw, the tribute episode. its funny, but u'd never have thot a wrestling show could make a person cry like that. really. cos when i watched dat ep i really cried lor. couldnt help it, cos he really was such a character. which den of course means that i can somewhat sympathise with pple who really feel for the cros hunter. altho i tink the fact that he was a celebrity like he was, alot of pple prob feel sad for the sake of feeling sad. aiya wadeva.

and yes it is also why hurt by johnny cash almost always brings me to the brink of tears. sigh. good times, good times.

even heroes have the right to bleed

i tink its a very true and rather meaningful line. i find the whole idea of how men arn't supposed to cry quite apalling, irritaing, and honestly, pathetic. seriously. i cant stand people who tink that oh guys are suppose to be strongand manly and wadeva shit and hence arnt allowed to cry. like its some rule. wadeva. i'm really not in the mood to think or rant or anything. its jus a random thot.

which reminds me, i'm in a terrible mood right now. not terrible as in foul, but terrible as in bad, not good, etc. and i hate it. very very much. cos its a very lousy mood to try to study in, its a very terrible mood to be in 1 wk b4 the exams, and it jus generally is a very terrible mood. i hate it. i hate it.

i tink i can tell when i'm this kind of mood. one clear sign is a post like this. meaningless, pointless, useless, everything-less. second is when i jus seem to not be myself. which den again brings about the question of jus who the real me is. maybe this me is the reak me, which means i'm being very myself. argh wadeva.

i tink... i don wanna tink. fuck.

let it shine on...

argh. ok this must be my longest blogging hiatus in like forever. but den again i really aint in no mood to blog. fuck lah. i'm fucking sick again. this is bloody irritatin. wad stomach flu. i mean, falling sick twice in 3 wks?? no good. at all. considerin the exams are only 2.5 wks away. the total cost of my 2 illnesses is roughly about 5 days of studying. fuck lah.

emofication

"in your head in your head in your head"

honestly dats jus how i feel.
its like everything's so messed up,
yet nothing really is messed up.
so maybe, it really is but in my head.

haiz. rockstar is over.
so lukas won.
but now dat its over,
my life is tending towards emptiness again.
it sucks.
now my wed and thur nites are empty again.
now i haf to find things to do during those hours.
i mean, i noe i shld be studying and shit,
but at home, i really cant.
there are wayyy too many distractions around.
the comp, my guit, my parents, fucking hell.
it does piss me off, the fact that i cant get any studying done.
haiz. wad to do?
i don tink studying 3 days a week is remotely even enough.
not with the kinds of marks i'm getting...
sigh. its kinda stupid really.

aniwae on the way home i was tinkin.
about this whole emo thing.
and i realise, i prob am quite emo.
really.
i mean, first the music.
i can safely say the emo music i listen to way outstrips every other genre.
breaking benjamin, taking back sunday, jimmy eat world,
rise electric, lifehouse, blue october,
its all emo. well generally.
and really, i don exactly listen to thaaat much music outside of those.
or rather outside of the emo/alt/classic rock genre.
den i guess my mentality is also quite emo-ish.
in that i dunno, i'm not the social-ish person.
nowadays i aint that much of a happy-go-lucky person anymore.
still, but alot less den last time.
i've got the whole fuck the world its not worth it thing going on.
haiz the everything lah.
den nowadays the kind of clothes i want/wear.
i'm wanting jackets and hoods and generally most things black.
long sleeves vs t-shirts.
and u noe, its not as if its a good thing.
if more den anything, i tink this could potentially be very disastarous.
on my sanity more than anything i guess.
.|.

haiz i love my music.
if u didnt already noe,
I LUV MUSIC.
it really is one of the few things that can make me feel,
or rather, make me not feel.
cos when i plug in,
it allows me to jus let go of everything.
i noe it sounds cliche and dumb and what not,
but its fucking true.
with music i can forget about all my frustrations,
i can (literally) shut out stuff.
it really is wonderful.
and also when i'm playing music, guitar or piano,
on my own free will, i feel...liberated.
yes i tink dats it. limited but much appreciated freedom.
its like it allows me to jus forget everything.
and the notes, the melody, jus takes over.
which is again prob why i much prefer,
and prob am better at pop/improvisation den classical piano.
serious, my classical sucks so bad, even tho i'm grade 6.
somehow -.-
and i tink the beauty of music is that,
regardless who you are,
how u feel, wad ure tinkin,
there always IS a song for it.
there some always is.
because music is so extensive,
and we generally don listen to very much,
compared to the actual amount of music out there.
which is why i want to amass as much music as i can.
not trying to sound lit-ish or wad,
but music is a very powerful metanarrative.
our experience can be explained by it,
cos there will always be someone else who has had a similar experience.
and the beauty about music is that one can make the experience last,
through songs, one can write about it,
reflect about it, everything.
its a medium for communication, music is.
and also its a music of connection.
cos pple can connect with each other thru purely music.
honest. sometimes i tink its much easier to understand a person by his music rather den by him himself.
because the kind of music that we listen to,
it really reflects who we are.
conciously or subconciously,
i tink we are all drawn to music that we can associate with,
music that mean something (or nothing) to us.
and hence it is a very good way of trying to know someone.
much like clothing, or like they say judge a person by his friends,
i say judge a person by his or her playlist.
and u noe, u mite jus be surprised.

"theres a really fine line between whats yours and whats mine."

honestly, it couldnt be any truer.
and it really isnt just about what is whose.
its the whole idea really.
when it comes down to it,
there jus really is a very fine line.
anywhere. everywhere.
and the sad part is,
we never see it,
we never know where the hell the lines are drawn.
only until we've crossed it.

haiz. all along, i've always believed depression is stupid.
and i still tink it is.
but the prob is, now i'm starting to wonder if we even have a choice.
what happens when we are pushed again and again,
closer and closer to the edge,
what happens when hate anger and fury builds up inside?
if we cant find a way to let it out,
maybe, jus maybe, depression isnt a choice den.
maybe its a natural reflex then?
to find solace and comfort in feeling like shit.
i really dunno.
but now there lies the real problem.
what exactly is depression?
is there a definitive definition of it?
because, these days,
i find myself slipping in and out of states of mind that are dangerously close to what i tink is depression.
and i'm scared. afraid.
because i don wan it to happen.
i've seen what it can do to a person.
and i am scared.

--
i'll be thinking of you no matter what i do,
even when my life is up,
i'll still watch over you.
if u feel lonely and down,
pray tell u'll seek help from above.
i'm not perfect. no one is.
all we can do is try,
to make it all be right.
please remeber, that i never lied.
no one ever can know what its like,
to be fated to telling only lies.
i wish somehow i could tell u now,
you've kept me safe even when i left your side.
now this is all i have,
fragments of the person i once was,
all i can do to try and breathe.
and when it proves to hard,
try to remember,
that you could never make up your mind.
all i can say,
love will lead us,
in the middle of the night.
--

SUPERNOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

woohoo!!! lukas yay lukas yay lukas yay!!!

weee i'm sooooo gonna buy the sueprnova album. woo =D

yafa yafa yafa

zzz. listenin to my dad is painful. really. and hope to hell i havent inherited those genes... rfffff. and i am quite sad today, cos pe we ran, and den i realise how much my fitness (what little bits of it there was) has deterioted. i tink the stupid flu really took it out on my body lah. now i'm weak all over. MORE weak all over. this is very saddening. den play soccer i dunno why my crossin was screwin with me lah. its like, only maybe 50% of my crosses were half decent. dats sadd...

AHHHHHH. THIS WAITING IS KILLING ME. BAH.

nothing else matters...

yes yes. dats essentially wad it is. ok so i now have a modified list of things to get after exams, budgeting withstanding.

i now MUSTTTTT buy the following stuff:
1. the freddie mercury tribute concert (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Freddie-Mercury-Tribute-Concert-Mallet/dp/B00004
CMSX/ref=imdbpov_vhs_1/202-9376882-1924630?ie=UTF8)
if anyone's feeling kind, please do help me put in an order. i'll CONFIRM pay u back one. haha. and yep its in tape format. yep tape. apparently the dvd cuts the whole 1st half, which is a big reason why i wan the concert, hence i need to get the original.

2. all rise electric albums. lukas. nuff said.

3. ryan's songs from the eye of an elephant. i believe dats the title of his album. i NEEEED it. so bad.

4. the supernova album when it comes out.

5. new guitar picks. and in some quatities too. heh.

6. a guitar strap for my acoustic. i jus wan one. haha.

7. accessories. i wan to get a ring or two, a bracelet or two or three. and maybe a necklace.

yep i'll stick with this list for now. now someone PLEASE help me order stuff online. i'll luv u for life. peace.