quantaeom theorry and its manny benefitts

wad do u do when u don wan to tok but wan to be heard?

wad do u do when u don wan to think but wan to understand?

aneoprinting

is there anything worse than thinking about thinking? i think not.

oh well.

neoprints are wonderful for preserving things long gone. u noe. its like our cheapskate way of making up for our poor memories. they say it changes when the sun goes down!!!!!!!! i haf this fleeting suspicion i'm already fucking insane. but it doesnt change the fact that neoprints rock. its a social activity dont u see?

ok whatever starlight is invading my fuckin head again.

when nobody understands anyone anymore

haha oh well, cant say i didnt see this coming.

my heart hurts. like theres this painful throb to it. and i thot i was like goin to die yesterday, when at one point there was this feeling of everything crushing my head. really. i guess at some point in time everyone's gotta feel like dying, just abit. theres this bitter taste in my mouth, after taste possibly. like wtf. ok i'm making shit sense.

its so funny, yet i think its so true. many pple cant take intensity. it scare the shit out of many pple i tink. it scares me quite abit. haven met many of such pple before, but the few that i haf they are scary, yet strangely fascinating, possibly even attractive. theres this smthn happening.

there are things to look at, and then there are things to have. i tink the distinction is very important. cos when they become the same thing, dats very saddening. the value of it is greatly reduced. u know...

fucking pissed off. this is so stupid, pointless, disastorous, horrible, fucked up, irritating and painful. wad morons.

OMFG

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lqbt6X4ZgEI

OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD OH MY FUCKIN GOD

this is jus wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy insane. its the craziest and best shit ever.

cos of her united states of whatever

quiz time, cos i'm so bored its gay.

1. First Name? desmond

2. Were you named after anyone? no -.-

3. Do you wish on stars? sometimes.

4. When did you last cry? considerin its 12.51, meaning its sat, 6 days ago.

5. Do you like your handwriting? fuck no.

6. What is your favorite lunchmeat? wtf is lunchmeat? and meat is meat.

7. What is your birth date? 6/2

8. Mountains or Beach? mountains.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? depeding on who the other person i am is. chances are, no.

10. Do you have a journal? a diary? yah.

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? -.-

12. Do you have a nickname? dessy o.0

13. Would you bungee jump? yes. if i could afford it dat is.

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? generally not. depends on the shoes/how the laces at tied.

15. Do you think that you are strong? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? no, no, no.

16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? rum and raisin.

17. Shoe Size? 10.5

18, What is your least favorite thing about yourself? if it had to be one thing, its gotta be my brain.

19. Who do you miss most? someone.

20. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? no.

21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? pants, blue. shoes, colourless.

22. What are you listening to right now? my guitar. in terms of music zombie. alot alot alot of it.

23. Last thing you ate? raisin bread with nutella

24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? pink, but nowadays black.

25. What is the weather? the weather is "the state of the atmosphere with respect to wind, temperature, cloudiness, moisture, pressure, etc."

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? aaron.

28. Something you notice about the opposite gender? erm, that they are female? wad kind of qn is this o.0

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? -

30. Favorite Drink? anything alcohol is fine.

31. What is your favorite sport? soccer.

32. Hair Color? black, sadly.

33. Eye Color? black

34. Do you wear contacts? no

35. Favorite Food? stupid qn.

36. Last Movie You Watched? uhhh, i watched national security on axn the other day. in cinemas it'll haf to be........cant rmb. oh yea. deathnote.

37. Favorite Day of the Year? none. christmas maybe.

38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? happy. but den again, they arnt even comparable subjects. scary movies can haf happy endings no?

39. Summer or winter? winter. most definitely

40. Hugs or Kisses? i'll tell u when i've had both.

41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? not sure.

42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond?

43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond?

44. Living Arrangements? bad.

45. What book are you reading? notin at the moment

46. What is on Your Mouse Pad? the mouse? -.- but no. at the moment i ahf no idea where my mousepad fuckin is, consideirn i don use one, so no idea.

47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? last night, meaning fri night, um, alot of stuff. i watched like 3 hrs straight. stupid mtv shows.

48. Favorite Sounds? silence.

49. What is the furthest you've been from home? japan o.0

50. What do you admire about yourself? wads there to admire?

i still maintain, that everything i say, everything i mean.

when everything's made to be broken, i just want u to know who i am...

haha. i love iris >.>

wee. my life has gone from meaningless to pointless to down right sad. hahahahaha. now i've fforgotten wad i was tinkin about. oh yes. last nite while i was lying in bed, i had a particular thought. every nite when we sleep, does anyone actually consciously tink that u are killing ureself? or rather at least setting ureself up for death? becos isnt it true? when we sleep we are at our most vulnerable, as we have no conscious knowledge of anything that is happenin to us. every nite we sleep, it could be the last thing that we ever do. isnt that just scary??

i realise alot of things are very scary.

like how one is never able to match up to his or her own potential. to know that it is possible, but to never attain that target. thats scary, stupid, and really irritatin. gah.

ok so i figured my blog is sorely lacking in colour and pics, and hence i shall like put up pics and shit. yay :D

hmmmm. wad to put up. lemme see.














now THATS how to sleep. wtf.















thats another cool way to sleep.














yea. the guy at the back looks uber extra hahahaha.















no comment.













wahahaha. dats a g chord o.0

ok wtf. yea wtf. i shall leave my thinkin for later.

weep

if we all only knew hahahahahahahaha.

i hate it. i know it

i miss having someone to talk to.

u know whats my problem? i tink too much. i make meaning when there is none, and that is never a bad thing. why? now thats another problem. i let myself tink too much. i don distract myself enough. i've got noting to do, cos i don wan to do anything. i'm in shit, but instead if trying to get out, i let myself sink further and further. will i hit a point where i can never ever get out? i don noe yet. i wonder if i'm pushin myself in that direction.

i always believe in my judgement. on my true honest judgement. i don thing that i believe i must, no matter what. and hell i'm willing to face up to the consequences. and i guess pple don really understand, that whilst i have tendencies to lie, to tell half-truths, to wadeva, at the end of the day, i haf certain fundamentals i stand by. and i guess thats prob why i'm so fucked up. i stick to my beliefs to much. warped beliefs, i shld say. but somehow, i cant imagine myself anyway else. i guess not many pple understand.

hahahahahaha.

its so funny. i'm a fence sitter in about every way. i want things, yet i don want them. i mean what i say, yet i don mean what i say. its all like a game. a sick, demented game. yet a game so intriuging, so tempting, its hard to resist. and i cant.

would things have been any better? can things be any better?

over the years, i've been told by many pple that i should change myself. for the better. make myself more likable. more sociable. but do i? of course not. as fucked up as i am, i like me just as i am. i dont want to change jus because its the best thing for me to do. i'm not trying to sound like some punk rebel or anything, even if i may seem to, but i mean thats just how it is. its about believing in ureself isnt it. trusting that ultimately, it is my life, and if i'm to screw up my life, at least i can blame me and only me. theres no such thing as "for the better". better is bullshit. better is compromising ure character, smthn i believe no one shld ever do. we are all individuals, we shld act like individuals, not all submit to some authoritarians ideology and become mindless fucking robots.

i like seeing happy pple. i'm happy for them. for having found smthn to be happy about. yet at the same time i feel sorry for them, cos i know that that happiness will soon run out, that it will eventually end, and then, and then they will fall harder than me. and i feel sorry for them. really.

a photograph is a truly fascinating object. it is one hell of a double edge sword. becos on one hand its a reminder of the good times in the past, and on the other hand its a reminder that the good times of the past are gone. to put it simply. and yet we always wan to take photos. so we're setting ourselves up for this agony no? why?? photos are also very interesting, as they have the ability to do smthn nothing else can, that is, stopping time. time is contantly moving, contantly chaging, and constantly running out. photos are the only way we can, in a sense, stop time. it is of course jus a play on the human mind, but a good one, and a necessary one, nonetheless.

and there i go again, locking up another memory, locking up another poison, locking up yet another knife.

the ultra-manipulistic view of human nature

i'm at crossroads again. come to think of it, i always am.

i know, i know, that i am mroe than one person. there are a few mes. i tink everyone has a few thems. the happy them, the sad them, the fuck u them, the fucked up them, everyone has all these thems. what makes pple uniquely different from each other is the predominance of one particular self over the others. much like how 0.1% HCl is diff from 1% HCl is diff from 10% HCl. u noe wad i mean. these different facets of ourselves all coexist side by side, hand in hand, but i don tink they ever overlap. but for me i'm not sure i haf a predominant side. its like, i flit between 2 particular selves very very often, effortlessly. the happy, oh-the-world-rocks-theres-nothing-to-be-sad-about self, to the fuck-the-damn-world-its-full-of-shit self. and its not like one day i'm one and another day i'm another, altho dat is often the case. however, its become quite a common thing for me to switch between these 2 selves in the space of minutes.

i tink it has to do with the environment. the things aorund us. they give these selves reason to exist. ok i need to name these selves things. ok i shall call them......part-selves. yes. well, i tink part-selves are created by our constant interaction with environment. humans are social creatures, i agree, and hence the need for part-selves. to allow us to adapt from one situation to another. i tink its important we realise this about ourselves. that we are not jus one character through and through. well actually we are, as our character is determined by our composition of part-selves. it makes us who we are. and i guess certain environments favour particular part-selves as opposed to others. much like how a deserted island would favour a person with a more predominant survival,savage part-selve than one with a more high class part-selve.

and this brings me to another view point. on human interactions and instances they dont exist. accordin to science, so i hear, happiness is the result of the fine balance of hormones and what not. whilst i cannot dispute this, since my grasp of science is so pathetic its laughable, i offer an alternative view. i believe that happiness is only possible, and hence should be viewed as the state of human nature, that exist when one is distracted. by distracted i mean instances when the individual is unable to question himself, unable to run doubts through his head. these instances include when one is socially interacting, such as hanging out with frens, or when one is involved in adrenaline related activities. this is because the individual is thus unable to "think" in the sense, where he is but just acting, jus doing things. this, is happiness.

i take a very pessimistic view of human nature. i believe that the natural state of human nature is one of sadness, loneliness, of despair, and ultimately of depression. when we are alone, when we are allowed to think, when we use our capability to reflect, that is when we see, understand, and feel sadness. i would in fact go as far as saying that humans suffer because of their abillity to think, their abillity to reason. because of our naturally pessimistic ways, when we reason, we can only ever reason things to be negative. things cannot be good, cannot be happy, cannot be right. EVERYTHING IS WRONG.

i tink the greatest achievement one can attain in life, is to estabilish a means not to counter, but to adapt this naturaly pessimistic human nature in such a way it works. we cannot try to be happy all the time, yet we must not allow ourselves to be sad all the time. we must find a way to turn some of our sadness to happiness, yet we must retain some pessimistic ways, to remind us of reality.

this is why i wan to be a psychologist. i feel that it is the one profession that allows for this. because u are able to take other pple's pesismistic thoughts and feelings, and manipulate it in such a way to make the person feel, or at least believe he feels, happier. in a sense, it is stopping a thinking individual from thinking. albeit temporary, but smthn is better den nothing. becuase in this case, nothing condemns the individual to eternal suffering. and as a psychologist, one prob is able to obtain a certain amount of pleasure out of helping others, yet one can delve deeper and deeper into the human mind. isnt that just fascinating?

and whats more? it makes one powerful. and i tink thats what we crave for more than anything else. power.

of course, everything could be absolute rubbish, we could just be living in a virtual hyperreality, and to top things all off, the world may not even exist. now dig that, sucker.

search:

i'm in love.

trust me.

a subra of a post

ok so i figured after readin subra's post i shld also look at my most played list. itunes they haf the top 25 played thing, and its actually quite cool.

pause.

1. headspin - rise electric, 133. no surprise.
2. headpin (rockstar supernova) - lukas rossi, 100. erm, yea. nice number :D
3. runaway train - soul asylum, 76. aha. i love this song. too much i tink. its very depressing.
4. rebel yell (live acoustic) - billy idol, 75. zomg the crazy song. bahhhhhh.
5. work - jimmy eat world, 71. haha. this song was top of the list for a very long time. wee.
6. blind - lifehouse, 70. this is there prob cos of my lifehoues phase, where i was listening to blind and spin on replay or smthn.
7. spin - lifehouse, 66. see above.
8. nothing compares 2 u - stereophonics, 63. if u haven heard this song, u deserve to DIE. but den this song i figured if i listened to it more den 10 times in a row i might actually really cry, so yea.
9. memory (acoustic) - sugarcult, 58. hahahahaha. another phase, where i basically listened to this song non-stop.
10. hate me - blue october, 56. definitely the hate me phase. nothing else to it. i hardly listen to this song anymore.
11. pieces - sum 41, 54. actually this song is very old. i was listenin to it alot last yr i tink, when it was a whole lot more, apt.
12. rebell yell (rockstar supernova) - toby rand, 54. hahahaha. i rmb this one. it was one wed night where basically i was up till 3am head banging to this song \m/
13. history - funeral for a friend, 53. the history/curses phase. and prob also another emo phase. its passed.
14. trees (rockstar inxs) - marty casey, 53. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) weeeeeeee.
15. iris - goo goo dolls, 52. haha. this was way back. nowadays i'm jus playin iris on guitar ALOT. which i guess is reasonable considerin we're playin it for prom lol.
16. sweet child - guns n roses, 51. another phase. the zomg gnr phase. wayyyy past.
17. curses - bullet for my valentine, 50. see history/13.
18. dont cry - gnr, 49. see 16.
19. diary of jane - breaking benjamin, 48. i don listen to it dat much nowadays, when i do i listen to all bb songs.
20. zombie (acoustic) - the cranberries, 48. its jus the damn song. i can listen to it a million times and still love it.

altho i tink this list isnt accurate. cos nowadays i'm not listenin to itunes dat much. sadly nowadays i'm playin wc/dota more. which is very pathetic. altho if i used my ipod as a true reflection, i tink there'll only be like 5 songs or smthn. recently, when i leave the house i tend to listen to nothing but zombie, memory, iris, iris live, zombie acoustic, warmness on the soul, yea. dats about it. damn. my grammer is teh suxxorz.

estranged

i look back, and i realise,
hey, it all feels like a dream.
and maybe, maybe it is.
afterall, my life has always been about dreams.
dreams, nightmares, fantasies, premonitions,
everything.
the sad part is, i can never rmb them dreams.
its like they keep eluding me.
i can remember them in the weirdest times,
like when i'm bathing or shit,
but i can never rmb them when i wan to.
dats fucked up.
do u have any idea how sad it is to move on?
or rather, not to move on.
i'm constantly paralysed in my past,
trapped in photographs,
in letters, in diaries,
stuck.

its funny even, the way things change.
i guess they have to.
things all have a way of coming back to haunt you.
escape death, and it follows ure every step.
run away, and ure but running back towards the edge.
the degeneration of conversation,
its really very sad.
worse still that i till now, dont know why.
it all jus, happened.
and jus like that,
everything fell apart.
just. like. that.

maybe. my life's all about maybes.
maybe this maybe that,
maybe maybe maybe.
fuck maybe.
i wish it'll all just stop.
den again, its jus me.
i keep on screwing myself up,
i keep on letting myself and others down.
the worse part is,
i know it.
i know it'll happen,
i know i'm out to fail,
yet i do it nonetheless.
i'm setting myself up for failure,
i'm setting others up for disappointment and hurt.
why???

my life is a conflicting mess.
i want to be alone,
but i dont want to be left alone.
i want to know the truth,
but i cant stand hearing the truth.
i wan to succeed,
yet i'm more than happy to fail.
i wan to do so many things,
yet i only wan to eat and sleep.
i wan to be liked,
i wan to be hated.
i wan to fall apart,
yet i wish pple would hold me together.
u noe, i tink i deceive myself too much.
i'm deluding myself.
i'm blinded by my very eyes.

i like secrets.
i like living a lie.
i like hiding things.
i like running away.
i like deception.
i like discontinuity.
i like mysteries.

the truth hurts.
even if no one but yourself knows it.
in fact, it hurts even more.
it burns from the inside,
wanting to tear its way out into the open.
the effort just to restrain it,
it takes so much out of a person.
if u only knew,
i'm scared, you're scared,
we're all shitting in our pants.
yet no one says a word.
we're all too perfect.
theres so much we could bring to each other,
but no, no chance.
we're all too certain who we are is who we will be.
theres no changing that.

its been a long wait now,
and hopefully, its about to end.
or not.
maybe sometime from now,
the truth will be told once and for all.
maybe we wont be so afraid anymore.
maybe we'd have grown up,
moved on, overcome our mental inertia,
to allow things to happen jus as they do.
maybe it will somehow all work out.
u see, more maybes.
i sound like a baby.

i wonder what it'd be like if we only knew,
if we only gave that one more chance,
if we could only see,
how its really not like it seems to you and me.
theres so much to be had,
its crazy, but somehow,
its not.

its not over u noe.
it'll still go on.
its hard to change things so definite,
so certain.
i mean, the record speaks for itself.
you, are just like that.
its like, every keeps saying,
next time, next time.
i wonder how many more next times u'll have,
until u finally run out of time.
den everything comes crashing down over your head,
and u'll find,
that you're better off on ure own.
u need it. trust me.

all this nothingness is killing me.
i need to do something, anything.
well nto anything anything,
but something anything.
i need to preoccupy my mind,
to keep it from, i dunno,
murdering itself.
goin round and round in circles,
tracing line after line after line that dont exist,
u noe wad i mean.

nowadays,
i feel like i'm running out of things to say.
that, or i'm jus running out of energy to even say anything.
its pointless.
i laugh silently,
i smirk,
i roll my eyes,
i smile,
i tear,
i clench my fists,
but i keep silent.
its worth the torture i tink.

It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep,
There's no way out,
This time I have really led myself astray...

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooody

i'm so moody.
sigh.
i hate it how i'm so controlled by my moods,
as opposed to being in control of my moods.
or at least maintainin some form of order even with mood swings.
its one of the many things in life i have yet to master.

sometimes, i feel like i'm half of a person.
its like, i'm only being half of hu i really am.
its liek at certain times, in certain contexts,
i am a certain person.
and it all changes.
and i tink dats quite scary.
cos den i'm no one.

do u feel scared?
are u afraid?
will u fucking die for him?
is this the be all and end all?
i think these are questions we should constantly be asking ourselves.

nope my brain isnt working. i'm now mentally stoned, even if i'm physically still holdin up. fuck it. i'm off to sleep.

tears in heaven

wads better den walking alone, along a long straight path, at 3pm in the afternoon, with rain pouring down, listening to iris?

its doing the exact same thing, only at 12mn.

yes.

whilst i havent actually done that, i noe it'll jus be soooooo great.

u noe, my life feels like an unfilmed film.

there are so many filmy moments.

ha.

ha.

KI OR GP?!?!?!?!?

fuck i cant decide which to take. i'm scared that if i take ki i wont put in the work, which will really suck. it'll screw me up bad. but den again, i want to take ki, cos the subject interests me. its alot more interestin den gp imo. which brings me to gp. the thing about gp is that i guess its the safer option. but do i want a safer option? what if it becomes another sian subject, which would den result in me not putting in work, which will still screw my grades. i really dunno. am i willing to put in the effort? i mean, i say i am. i tell myself that if it interests me i'll put in effort. thing is, am i sure? no. of course not. now wad? and there is the elitist issue. all my life i've always been in these positions. tao nan gep, vsgep (especially), ip, and if i take ki, now ki. but i mean it won be an unfamiliar feeling. but thing is, would taking gp make me more 'normal'? would it mean i'm one with the rest? would taking ki make me elitist? and does ki really make me anymore elitist? i mean, i'm entering jc which the vip written all over me. isnt dat elitist enough? and most importantly, does all these elitist talk really matter? and also what about the ki students themselves. i'm guessing 1/3-1/2 of the ki pple will be from vip, which is good and bad, cos if i'm unlikely and get stuck with pple i dislike, gg to me man. its jus so gonna blow. and i don wan dat happening. and dang was saying how its possible to drop ki to gp, but i;m tinkin if its a risk i want to take. if i wan to do law, is it safer to take gp? will i necessarily score better in gp den ki? ARGH. damn they shld never have invented this ki thing. bleh. decision decision decision.

fuck you and fuck you too

i am pissed. fuck sia. my dad's a fucking big piece of shit. this is ridicufuckinlous. it really is. the hols are over, and since now he cant say fuck about me needin to study, now he goes on and on abotu how i'm obesessed and addicted to the fucking comp and guitar. i mean fuck that. its stupid. he somehow cannot accept the fact that i actually like and enjoy certain stuff. its sad. very sad. actually i'm not sure i'm pissed or anything. i'm jus...i dunno how to describe it. its like a cold kind of anger. or smthn like that. frozen fire. u noe. its damn fucked up lah. its like he is jus constantly trying to deprive me of anything i enjoy. use comp not happy, play guitar not happy, sleep late not happy, sleep early not happy, wake up late not happy, wake up early not happy, notin to do stone oso not happy. he is really jus damn screwed up. his whole life is about packing stuff and arranging stuff and packing and arranging mroe stuff. its lame lah. theres only so much u can pack and arrange. it comes to a point where theres nothing left to arrange.

sigh. i cant wait for army man. i really cant wait. ironically, its gonna be 2 yrs of freedom. 2 yrs of not having to care about being fucked up by ure own parents. i don care how much i suffer during army, knowing that i will. its better, considerin its worth it, wheras this? fuck this. it aint worth nothin but a whole bucket of pig shit.

i bother. u see, i do.
maybe that's why...

of better or better more

damn. i live for days like this man. wooo. i love the rain. lalalalala. if i were god, everyday would rain like a bitch. its jus so...comfortable. the natural aircon, the feeling of rain splashing onto ure face, winds blowing thru ure hair. in these kinds of weathers, i hate being at home. i totally hate it. i want to be out there, drowning in the rain, getting soaked right thru. i tink its somewhat therapeutic. zz therapeutic is a word i've been usin too often. but seriously. these kinds of weathers are best for sitting at the beach or in some open field. ok not sitting maybe lying down, jus relaxing, not having to think about anything. its so beautiful. and wads more everyone would be at home or in some sheltered place, so u literally have the whole world to ureself!! isnt dat jus wonderful? sigh. why am i at home. bloggin -.-

its time for us to say goodbye

i realised smthn today. i like briyani. its like soooo nice. haha. and i also like awards shows. i tink its cos u realise that as human as those pple are (esp athletes), they sometimes really arnt human. they mean so much more. its like how a team can represent a whole state. and also many a times, athletes inspire us. and i find it quite a joy to watch. take the steelers for example. they really are the true inspirational story. the came out of nowhere, had a bunch of rookies, somehow managed the best defence in the country, had a quarterback with the longest surname ever (O_O), and they win the superbowl. i mean wad can i say. i wish i were in those positions. to be part of something amazing. of course its wishful tinkin. it'll never happen. haha but i still tink about it. and its aa very attractive proposition. its like watching those great great soccer goals. it takes your breath away.

flattened with boredom

i'm a sucker for depressing music.
i dunno why, but its the most comforting type of music for me.
even more so den headbanging rock.
somehow.

i'm so in love with runaway train. i mean, the lyrics are depressingly wonderful.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blow torch burnin
I was a key that could use a little turnin

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Chorus
Runaway train never goin back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

And Everything seems cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

CHORUS

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little outta touch, little insane
Just easier than dealin with the pain

CHORUS

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
I runaway but it always seems the same

it jus doesnt get better then that, depressing songs.
and i'm not sure i understand my obsession with depressing music.
i'm not a depressed person,
i don tink i'm depressing,
so its queer.

i wish i could drown in your meaningless...

in a dearth

what is perfect?

its a really very interesting idea, that of perfection. i mean, its all relative isnt it? because of u take perfection to the the balance of say right and wrong, good and evil, then everythings perfect. if equilibrium is perfect, then everything is perfect. because everyone/thing is but a balance of many different things. so everyones perfect. i mean, reaaaally how do consider smthn perfect? jus because smthn is the best doesnt mean its perfect. so then wad can we define as perfect? smthn flawless? surely not.

i don noe. tell me somebody.

ok now i want an elec very very very badly. and a gd amp and possibly an effects pedal. shhh. don tell anyone. (!)