i really think its quite sad that happy cheesy shalala shows makes me feel rather sad and depressive, whereas depressing and sad shows somewhat makes me feel hopeful.

i somehow dont think that's quite right, is it?

and in this ever-changing madness,
we still want to believe.

oh man oh man.
i think once again its coming to a point i cant deal.
i dont want to be unhappy,
i dont want to be frustrated and angry,
and there really is no excuse for it is there?
no one will believe me anyway,
so i'm sorry if i pretended to be that way.

who's going to write your fairytale ending?
the one where the bride falls and harry is the king...

i know its selfish, but delving in others' problems let me forget my own.

i think we've all got to let go a little bit.
being ourselves can sometimes be too hard, too much.

and somehow, we're all just looking for that romantic inside.
i dont think i can stand people who get attached for the sake of it.
i mean honestly, whats the point?
relationships shouldnt just be about bragging rights isit?
or maybe we're just too young to understand.
at 14, at 17, what do we know?
just how much have we experienced,
to be able to say we understand?
is love overrated though?
i dont know. in some ways i think it is.
i think its too absurd to be falling in love all the time.
call me cynical, yes, but i just dont think you can fall in love that often.
honestly, is it that easy to find love?
maybe i'm being too judgemental,
i cant accept the fact that people are different,
people dont share my views.
maybe some people just can fall in love.
maybe, just maybe, i'm jealous.
yet i think deep down in every single person theres that little idealism.
maybe its just a dream, some kind of unachievable utopia,
some people call it hope.
i dont know, i think i've seen what love is.
seeing old couples walking in the park,
i think thats love.
i might be wrong, but at least thats what i think.
i dont know if i'm right in saying this,
but i think at some point or another,
everyone dreams of that knight in shining armor fairytale.
girls want to be rescued, guys want to be the hero.
maybe i'm generalising too much, quite possibly i'm wrong.
but really, isnt it nice?
fairytale endings give you that feeling that there is hope in this world after all.

and sometimes, thats all that matters.

we can never be satisfied.
its the holidays, but we still want so much more.
sometimes, i think holidays are worse than sch days.
sch days theres actually stuff to do everyday,
in a sense you know what's coming tomorrow.
you know that you have to get up and go to school.
holidays really suck in the sense that you know theres work to do,
multiples i/ses and shit, but you also know there's time.
no so there actually isnt,
but holidays give you the false impression that theres time.
and so you put it off.
there always is a later.
and there never is a never.

we all want a little escape.
just to be able to run off to that little hole of yours,
and not to have to worry about anything else in the world.
to be with your friends, to be with yourself.
and to just drop everything.
screw work, screw school, screw parents, screw everything.

the truth is that i aint satisfied.
in everything i do, i cannot find that satisfaction, that happiness.
theres always that little shred of doubt that lingers.
so maybe i'm better off not thinking about all of it.
to just hang loose and stop worrying.
there'll always be time to worry.
i suppose in a way i cant keep looking back,
neither can i keep thinking about the future.
i spend too little time in the present.
of course there always is the argument that the present does not exist,
but sadly, for many people, it does.
and i've got to deal with the fact that even if i dont think it does,
people do, and in a sense we've all got to live by other people's presents.

come on one and all, run away with me!

never say goodbye,
because we'll always have this to come away to.
only if we try, only if we try.

omg pain > me

at the very least, this is painful.
why? cos obviously it hurts, whether you believe it
or not.

wa lau i cant believe i cable ski-ed 4 fraeking hrs today.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/bags/9aa0/

OMG I WANT I WANT I WANT SOMEONE BUY FOR ME FOR XMAS I WANT I WANT

O_O wow

omg i had a really bad dream last night (or well, this morning actually. i only went to sleep at 730) in it, my elec guitar got totally busted, and i remember myself screaming. oh god. thank god it wasnt real.

spinning away

i ask and ask again,
but still the same the road leads me back to nothing.
i've come so far only to have to see,
there really was nothing to succeed.

sometimes, i just think i'm chasing the impossible.
holding out for hope, even when there seems to be none.
some people may argue hope is always there,
whether we see it or not.
i just dont see the point anymore.
the truth is, its too hard.
too meaningless, to pointless, to tiring.
i dont want to have to do it anymore.
i mean, it really sucks being held like a prisoner in your very own home.
by others, and by yourself.
i dont want to be here,
and neither does he want me here.
just as it is, it leaves me no where to go.
i could roam, but where will i end up?
could i go anywhere better?
can i find a place that will accept me for who i am?
i think, i can be whoever you want me to be.
cos i dont even know who i am,
i dont think i can be me.
its easier to be someone else,
someone whom i dont have to take responsibility,
someone unlike me, yet in a way, still me.
i've gone and changed, but have you?
i cant help it, i've taken all my drugs and all the pills,
still the same memories and thoughts swirl in my throat,
choking the life out of me.
and i'm spinning, spinning, spinning.
spinning, away.

am i still hoping?

argh, let the frustration set in.

first, the a string on the electric snapped.

then, the high e string on the acoustic snapped.

cheebong.

now i dont have ANY guitars to play with.

wad the hell.

if we could just take it back to before,
relive those moments, rewrite those notes again.
i promise i wont be quite as daft,
i'll do what i meant to, act as i must.
i think just for that while,
i remember being happy.
right back into those moments,
those memomiseries.
it's all so obvious to me now,
so why couldnt i have been a little less blind?
maybe if i did understand, comprehend,
i could find a way out of this shallow hole.

i'm sorry, but i really cant deal.
may a shed a tear for you?
or would you spare me the trouble and come to my rescue?

!!!! how could they leave that out of the dvd?!?!?!??

omg if only i could do that some day

in other news, i bought a fishing rod.

somtimes, it is too easy to imagine bridges where there are none.

what if everyone spoke what they really thought?

i mean, honestly, every conversation's so...complicated. i mean i think its true, its not what we say, its what we are saying. and even if we dont say much, we are saying alot. problem is, we dont dare to actually ask about what we are saying, only what we say.

life is complicated. no, life is simple. no, life is.

for one moment
i wish you'd hold your stage
with no feelings at all
open minded
i'm sure i used to be so free

wow

all i can say is, WOW.