woohahahaha!!!

yay!! ok so i'm not really happy. i mean, its hard to be when ure wrist is bloody killing u... ugh. pain. and i realised smthn. acupuncture isnt dat bad lah. its jus...weird. esp when they start putting current through u. l was doin my wrist, so it felt lyk there was a heart beating in my hand. lol.

and another thing. i now noe wad its like to have ure hand chopped off. its bloody difficult doin things with only 4 fingers and a thumb. its a serious handicap... lol.

on a happier note, this whole blog entry was done on my pda. ^^ haha.

wft

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
juhrjeu43koi59tu85iot987yui85rueiaoq4897uuuuuuuuuut5j4sgues]
[matchbox 20 revival] cause i'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape says:
hfhydhyd

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
4t54utgrbf[

wft. what fuck the.

my name is...

i realise smthn. in alot of my dreams, there area always guns in it. like firearms guns. and i'm always bein shot at in some way or another.

so last night/this mornin i had another series of weird dreams. nuff said.

somebody saaaavveeeee meeeeeee....

christmas wishlist

ah yes xmas is here again!! like woohoo happiness!!

ok ok so i aint dat happy. hell if there werent smthn called presents i wouldnt be happy at all. but keepin in tradition of christmas, i shall thus create a wishlist. so.

dearest santa:
wattup santa. u noe, i've been a really good boy this year. yes i really have. look, i only failed my overall by 0.2%! and i passed half my eoy papers! and i only pissed about a few dozen people off this year... AND i only 2 huge arguments with my father. that just proves how good i've this year. i don really want to go into the minor details, such as me and my friends (last time dat is) causin a huge class riff.
so in light of all the good things i've done this year (no i did not donate to no beggars), could u pls give me the following for christmas? i want:
1. an electric guitar and amp
2. chelski to start losing (i noe i'm askin for quite alot here, but pls...)
3. man u to win everygame from now till the end of the season
4. england to win the damn world cup, and erikson to drop becks
5. a new pair of adidas shoes
6. franz ferdinand's newest album
7. john steven's red
8. a 80gb external hard drive. ok ok i'll settle for 40.
9. a xbox 360 (!!! pls pls pls)
10. a tonic that will ensure i pass my re-exams. come on santa i noe u got that hidden somewhere...

u see, jus 10 things. so pls santa, make my christmas a merry one. for once.

ps. to my frens: my bday is only 44 days away...

fight kill fight kill fight kill

pain...
yea my leg hurts like fuck now. jus now went bbq was barefooted for like mroe den 7 hrs lah... played soccer, bball, ran around... my leg jus hurts. bleh. and i ate like so little... wtf.

ok so i figured vanish O2 is plain crap. MY SHIRT IS STILL DIRTY!!!! like wtf?? the stains won bloody come off >.< ugh.

on a happier note, i havent done any holiday homework at all!! wee!!! ok ok i lie. i've read wutie abit of air-conditioned nation. yea, so i've done smthn. woohoo. and i also havent really studied for my re-papers. yayness. ok ok i lie again. i've revised chem except stoichiometry and acids and bases, and i've gone through the bio eoy paper. abit. haven really touched maths. i'm like sooo screwed...

ok so i resolve to spend the next wk REALLY studyin. i really cannot afford to fail. failin is bad. i repeat, FAILING IS BAD!!! UNDERSTOODED?!? good. so, i shall be online alot less, as i shall in some miraculous way find a way to distance myself from my laptop as much as possible.
--
wonderful now to more serious things.

i've been having alot of dreams lately. however, for the past 2 nites, i've had dreamless sleep!! yay!! (ok so i haf no idea why i'm happy or anythin. blah.) if u've read my dream theory (which doesnt make alot of sense i will admit), u'd noe dat... uh, i dunno. notin really. it's jus, i dunno. its strange dat for like a gazillion continuos nights i've been having weird dreams, and den suddenly i haf dreamless sleep. strange...

oh yes another thing. KOBE BRYANT IS TH3 MAST3R!!! wahaha. he's sick man... wtf he singehandedly outscored the mavs. dats plain sick.

oh yea and another thing. i read this article in today about ronaldinho bein named TODAY's sportsperson of the yr. u noe, the guy who wrote the article, dunno wads his name, i like his articles. he always writes these kind of articles, and i like readin them. cos they tell the truth, but in this very fictional way. as in he tells it like a story. i dunno. its..inspiring.

ok yea i'm bein totally incoherent here. wtf.

i'm waitin for this sky to fall,
i'm waitin for a sign.
and all we are,
is all so far.

one more day with you...

if you only knew

treasures the ones you have,
so that you wont have to live in regret.

i heard this somewhere.

forever?

i need you to show me the way from crazy.
i wanna be so much more than this.
no one would know,
us and the moonlight.

i always believed in futures.
the past is told by those who win.
what matters is what hasnt been.
believe your voice can mean something.

please keep in sight what makes you care.
you know time heals nothing by itself.
and if you were here with me tonight,
i'd sing to you just one last time.

it doesnt seem there's hope for me,
i let you down.
the world we love forever gone?

you'd be lucky to get out of life alive

memories.
looking back, we all do that.
recall, remember, regret.
we look into the past,
hoping to find answers,
when there are none.
we all have memories,
happy, sad, all kinds.
and i realise,
its not the sad ones that hurt.
its the happy ones.
times of joy, of laughter,
of fun.
all that now in the distant past.
and on looking back,
then u realise how much u miss those times,
how much u wish it could be dat way again.
and yet, it'll never happen.
things change, they always do,
and nothing we do can stop that.

everytime i look back,
back to the times we were all so innocent.
back to the times no one really cared.
back to the times i really had fun.
looking back, i really do miss those times.

why do the happiest memories hurt the most?
its cos u realise, they are gone.
forever.
theres no turnin back the clock.
theres no way to undo whats done.
and its then u realise how much those times mean to you.
happy memories,
they are the ones that you remember best,
but that also means they are the ones hardest to let go off.
and if you cant let go,
you cant really move on.
you get trapped in your past,
clinging on to things already gone.

then,
when you realise how its stoppin you,
then it hurts the most.

the dream theory

yes. so this is a strange weird theory i've come up with.

wad do dreams mean?
do they tell us things?
about others, about ourselves?
these are some questions i seek to answer.

dreams,
i believe they are the product of our subconciousness.
disclaimer: i haf done no research whatsoever.
i believe that dreams reveal what we really think.
well after interpretation.
as far as my own dreams go,
they are always...extreme situations.
my dreams, there are real people.
people i know,
yet in foreign situations.
scenarios that have no apparent relation.

take my dream last nite for example.
this is one of the few occasions i remember anything at all.
basically it started of with me and my family leaving my grandma's house.
well in reality she stays in tamp,
but in my dream i had no idea where the hell i was.
den i got onto a 31 (which does go to tamp).
den i dunno wad happens here.
oh yes, i was rushing to school.
when i arrive at sch, and i haf no idea how,
its not vjc.
its some weird place,
and i have a strange feelin i've seen/dreamt it before.
its a school, and there are 7 floors.
one floor for one level.
top floor for staff.
yes, it was a primary school.
kong hwa primary, judging by the uniform.
i run up to the top floor, and i see...
ms sharma, my sec 2 geog tr.
she gives pieces of paper,
with stuff on it i didnt comprehend,
and i don rmb wad the hell it was.
weird stuff.
and i look out of the window,
and in the neighbouring school i see...
dunmanians.

here i wake up.

ok so lets analyse this dream.
i went to kong hwa from p1-3.
significance? not sure.
my sis studies in dunman.
meaning? dunno.
ms sharma? uh, dunno.
my family? dunno.
pieces of paper with no meanin?

so wad does this all mean?
well, my dream was made up of fragments of my self.
so are dreams that?
unrelated fragments of our thoughts, our past, our selfs?

i tink in some part yes.
but there must be meaning somewhere.
there always is.

one thing i remembered from my dream.
acutally alot of dreams are as such.
i'm always running.
wad does that mean?
i'm not sure really.

someone, somewhere,
do enlighten me.

dreams are the manifestation of our subconcious mind,
they, i beleive, show us what we really think.
when your dream includes people you know,
i could possibly be showing you how you really feel towards them.

that is of course,
if you first can rmb anything.

--

i think i'm goin crazy.
help.