ahhhhhh

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aXPeEmKqeJQ&mode=related&search=

crouch is god. wad the fuck. i mean seriously. hes a friggin beanpole. ball comes in, he tries a bicycle. he could scuff it, laugh and walk away. he could totally miss the ball, make a fool of himself, laugh at walk away. he could misjudge and let it hit his head, make a TOTAL fool of himself, laugh and walk away. wad does he do?? he hits it like a bitch. bam straight into the corner. i tink the keeper didnt move cos he was too stunned by the fact crouch actually attempts a bicycle, prob tinkin it was gonna fly away somewhere. hah. wads more it was a technically perfect shot. 100% perfect contact. damn. a bullet if i ever saw one. reminds me of andy "i'm gonna do a bicycle whenever i can
cole. woo.

and i keep tellin everyone crouch is fuckin good and no one fucking believes me. well NOW do u believe me?

a completely pointless meaningless and neccessary post

tamper tampering tampered.

i like eating eggs. even with the cholestral and shit. and i thoroughly enjoy scrambled eggs with bbq sauce. its nice. jus as i like condensed mlik dissolved in hot water or cold milk. i'd rather cold milk. i generally like seafood. i like meat alot also. altho prob beef more than anythin else. ok i'm done with my 4 eggs. i shall go make my cup noodles.

ok i am back. and i haf forgotten wad i was tinkin about. well anyway now i'm tinkin about wad it means to be selfish of generous. which is worse really? tink about it. being generous makes u friends, being selfish can save ure life. which brings me to the question of which is worse? being too generous or too selfish?

i like making list. they give me some sort of comfort. some kind of control i rarely have. they give me smthn to do, smthn to place meaning in when theres nothing left.

oh yes i rmb now. i was tinkin about books. specifically war books. reacently i've been drawn to war books, and i find them very interestin and relevant. i tink wars are cool. i wan to fight a fucking war. the whole concept of warring is rather ironic. u spend months, years of your life preparing and training and preparing and training, and when it really comes down to it, its jus a matter of seconds. enemy? shoot. finish. end of fucking story. and at least from the books i've read, it seems like war brings out a different side of everyone. those fighting, those at home, those orchestrating the war. maybe its cos of the simple fact that wars are so...rare. unlike crime or natural disasters or anything else, war is just so infrequent. so much so that its a new experience for about everyone entrenched in it. which den of course means that no one really noes how to react. everyones new, everyones equal. everyone's on the brink of death. everyones that much closer to the end.

i've had very strange conversations with pple b4. from topics like respecting penises and vaginas to jus random meaningless bullshit. strange nonetheless. its funny.

u noe, somewhere, there is both a kid and an adult inside all of us. and i tink pple shouldnt try so hard to suppress any of those characters. it makes u one-dimensional. wheres the fun in that?? i mean, there are times we shld all jus act like kids. jus forget everything, embrace innocence once more. i don tink pple do this enough. its really quite sad. den again, there are times we shld, well, jus be mroe grown up. it sounds quite stupid and ompossible, but i tink its true. its like someone with the mental maturity of a 5 yr old in the body of a 16 yr old who sounds like an alien from mars. u know.

and another thing. the bus stop opp sch is actually a very good place for stoning. or well if u'd rather do it a place for reflection, a locale for embracing the past and anticipating the future. i don even noe wad the fuck i'm saying. point is, its a good place for stoning. why? cos one its not terribly ulu. so theres enough activity to keep one interested and entertained. two its not too noisy. three the roads quite wide, so its not all dusty and smoky and stuff. and four its a convenient place cos there are so many buses, so getting around/away shld not be a problem. i've taken to stonin quite abit over at that bus stop. it, i tink, keeps me mildly sane. at least after sch.

if ever you want to talk to me or tell me smthn or basically jus get my attention, and i'm listenin to my music and not lookin at u, kick me. its really the only way to get my attention. that or jump in front of my face and act like a clown. now that will get my attention. anyway its cos my music will be blastin at a volume that basically nullifies everything that is happenin around me. so rmb: kick me.

am i toying with fate,
or is fate toying with me?
actually, i shld jus do smthn about it.
yeah right.

inspiration

last nite i read jarhead. and i've decided its a good book. the movie was m18 i tink >.> wtf. everyone go read it. it deals with quite pertinent issues.

aniwae, somethings seriously wrong with me now. i jus broke another glass container. fucking hell. seriously my brain is all fucked up now. i'm becomin mad i tink.

ok ok i'm off to stalk pple. cya later...

stalker complex

i tink i haf a stalker complex. yes. wtf.

today i saw that girl again. den again, its not like i totally didnt expect it.

i haf a stalker complex. not that i really stalk pple per se, but, well, i guess i'm very much inclined to. the way i'm rather particular in remembering where people stay, the way i want to stalk pple, its all very disturbing.

what am i doin to myself really. you noe i noe we all noe its but jus a dream, jus a dream, jus a dream.

i am quite scared of myself. really. cos of the fact that i am very much a perfectionist. a very poorly disciplined one, but a perfectionist nonetheless. and i noe that if there is smthn i wan done, badly enuff, it will get done. like say stalking someone. i believe that if i wanted to, i could really do it.

its like, i'm doin this to myself. i'm exertin this torture unto myself. why? why?

dont want to live for wasted tomorrows...

the world you love

dats no officially my song of the moment. yep. not jus cos its a jimmy eat world song, but cos its a really nice song, and the lyrics are...relevant. to say the least. the song makes me feel. but u noe, dats jus me.

an u noe, these kinds of moods,
they are self sustaining.
cos i'm hatin myself for being so moody,
and my response?
get even moodier.
so, its really a vicious cycle.
i'm hating everything i do,
yet theres notin else but to do wad i'm doin.
dats how it is really.
and you know when life gives you lemons,
it doesnt rain it pours.
really.
life has a way of doin dat to u.
when it seems like you hate everything around you,
life conveniantly puts more things there for you to hate.
i'm not jokin.
of course the logical explanation is that its a matter of perception,
cos when you're feeling like shit,
everything else seems like shit.
but really. the kind of mood dat i am,
logical isnt an option.
so why does life do this to us?
constantly laughing in our faces,
kicking us when we are down.
its like how jus now on the way home on the bus,
i saw the prettiest girl i've seen in a long time.
and it makes me wonder,
is it these kinds of moments dat define who we are?
cos if anything else,
it applifies things.
it makes everything look so much more.
so maybe the girl wasnt daaat pretty. (she was)
maybe its cos i'm feelin so shit that she jus appears to be prettier.
its like how everything else around me jus seems...better.
more right. more perfect.
thats how it is den isnt it.
self-pity? its a very fine line.
i mean, self-pity isnt good,
no pity isnt good either.
yesterday i watch grey's anatomy,
and i tink the one thing i remember most,
other den the absolutely gory nature of the show,
is this very true fact of life:
its all about finding a balance.
yea. in the show it was about life and death.
in life, maybe not so much.
den again, maybe its the little issues that really matter.
it the small things we don care about that really affects us the most.
i believe that.

its not like i want to be like this.
i dont. i really dont.
its not helping at all,
considerin i'm 5 days from my exams,
and i feel like murdering half the pple i see,
and stuffin the other half in a box.

i honestly think alot of pple are too selfish.
ok so thats pretty duh.
but the thing is i don tink enough pple acknowledge this fact.
i'm selfish, i know it.
and i accept it.
do i do things about it?
i try, i really do.
but everytime i look around me,
i don tink pple even know they are selfish.
and its not in the very obvious things.
its very subtle, and maybe dats where the problem is.
its not obvious enough such that its screamin in pple's faces,
and hence we all jus pass it off as smthn else.
covering it up.
like "aiya he's jus liddat one lahh",
or "zz ure being over sensitive!".
ok so maybe i am,
but that still doesnt change the fact that there are so many pple out there,
unaware of their own selfish ways.
and its scary.
i think we shld all try harder.
to do many things.
to know who we are,
but more importantly to realise who we are to others.
to realise that the worlds bigger than outselves.
i know it sounds very preachy and idealistic,
but face it, its the truth.
we all are too selfish, too naive, too egoistic.
haiz wads the difference aniwae?
its not like anyones gonna change.
for a start who even takes me seriously -.-

i wish someone'd jus understand.
but haha, its asking a tad too much eh.

i've got alot of figuring out to do,
after the exams are done.
yea, the exams.
this exams is really screwin me up.
i tink the muggin is the cause of me falling ill twice in 3 wks,
in addition to all the other little nuances that has infested my life.
its also messing with my head.
i'm not the person i used to be,
but dats probably a good thing. for now.
but once the exams are done, ahhh.
i'd jus feel so much freer.
that word doesnt exist, but yea.
it'll jus be so relax.
theres so much i want to do.
so so much.
i cant wait.

have u ever had this experience?
where you want something so very much,
but when u finally do get it,
u realise its the worst thing that has ever happened to u?
well i haven been through something like this before.
but i'm afraid i mite.
i'm afraid,
the coming together could finally spell the falling apart.
i jus hope not.

"we're only just as happy, as everyone else seems to think we are"

crikey ure crikey

i tink the whole steve irwin thing got/is gettin abit too much lah. i tink pple are over doin it, much like the singapore govt did the durai thing. but aniwae dats not really my point. actually throughout this whole steve irwin dying thingy, i really didnt care much for it, considerin i havent watched a single episode of his shows, and i do agree with critics he's somewhat of a moron to be messing with dangerous creatures u KNOW can and will try to bite ure head off. a brave idiot if i ever saw one. no anyway the only reason why i could even feel sad is cos it reminded me of someone else hu died. eddie guerero. haiz. its like everytime someone mentions steve irwin my mind automatically rewinds back to dat one episode of raw, the tribute episode. its funny, but u'd never have thot a wrestling show could make a person cry like that. really. cos when i watched dat ep i really cried lor. couldnt help it, cos he really was such a character. which den of course means that i can somewhat sympathise with pple who really feel for the cros hunter. altho i tink the fact that he was a celebrity like he was, alot of pple prob feel sad for the sake of feeling sad. aiya wadeva.

and yes it is also why hurt by johnny cash almost always brings me to the brink of tears. sigh. good times, good times.

even heroes have the right to bleed

i tink its a very true and rather meaningful line. i find the whole idea of how men arn't supposed to cry quite apalling, irritaing, and honestly, pathetic. seriously. i cant stand people who tink that oh guys are suppose to be strongand manly and wadeva shit and hence arnt allowed to cry. like its some rule. wadeva. i'm really not in the mood to think or rant or anything. its jus a random thot.

which reminds me, i'm in a terrible mood right now. not terrible as in foul, but terrible as in bad, not good, etc. and i hate it. very very much. cos its a very lousy mood to try to study in, its a very terrible mood to be in 1 wk b4 the exams, and it jus generally is a very terrible mood. i hate it. i hate it.

i tink i can tell when i'm this kind of mood. one clear sign is a post like this. meaningless, pointless, useless, everything-less. second is when i jus seem to not be myself. which den again brings about the question of jus who the real me is. maybe this me is the reak me, which means i'm being very myself. argh wadeva.

i tink... i don wanna tink. fuck.

let it shine on...

argh. ok this must be my longest blogging hiatus in like forever. but den again i really aint in no mood to blog. fuck lah. i'm fucking sick again. this is bloody irritatin. wad stomach flu. i mean, falling sick twice in 3 wks?? no good. at all. considerin the exams are only 2.5 wks away. the total cost of my 2 illnesses is roughly about 5 days of studying. fuck lah.

emofication

"in your head in your head in your head"

honestly dats jus how i feel.
its like everything's so messed up,
yet nothing really is messed up.
so maybe, it really is but in my head.

haiz. rockstar is over.
so lukas won.
but now dat its over,
my life is tending towards emptiness again.
it sucks.
now my wed and thur nites are empty again.
now i haf to find things to do during those hours.
i mean, i noe i shld be studying and shit,
but at home, i really cant.
there are wayyy too many distractions around.
the comp, my guit, my parents, fucking hell.
it does piss me off, the fact that i cant get any studying done.
haiz. wad to do?
i don tink studying 3 days a week is remotely even enough.
not with the kinds of marks i'm getting...
sigh. its kinda stupid really.

aniwae on the way home i was tinkin.
about this whole emo thing.
and i realise, i prob am quite emo.
really.
i mean, first the music.
i can safely say the emo music i listen to way outstrips every other genre.
breaking benjamin, taking back sunday, jimmy eat world,
rise electric, lifehouse, blue october,
its all emo. well generally.
and really, i don exactly listen to thaaat much music outside of those.
or rather outside of the emo/alt/classic rock genre.
den i guess my mentality is also quite emo-ish.
in that i dunno, i'm not the social-ish person.
nowadays i aint that much of a happy-go-lucky person anymore.
still, but alot less den last time.
i've got the whole fuck the world its not worth it thing going on.
haiz the everything lah.
den nowadays the kind of clothes i want/wear.
i'm wanting jackets and hoods and generally most things black.
long sleeves vs t-shirts.
and u noe, its not as if its a good thing.
if more den anything, i tink this could potentially be very disastarous.
on my sanity more than anything i guess.
.|.

haiz i love my music.
if u didnt already noe,
I LUV MUSIC.
it really is one of the few things that can make me feel,
or rather, make me not feel.
cos when i plug in,
it allows me to jus let go of everything.
i noe it sounds cliche and dumb and what not,
but its fucking true.
with music i can forget about all my frustrations,
i can (literally) shut out stuff.
it really is wonderful.
and also when i'm playing music, guitar or piano,
on my own free will, i feel...liberated.
yes i tink dats it. limited but much appreciated freedom.
its like it allows me to jus forget everything.
and the notes, the melody, jus takes over.
which is again prob why i much prefer,
and prob am better at pop/improvisation den classical piano.
serious, my classical sucks so bad, even tho i'm grade 6.
somehow -.-
and i tink the beauty of music is that,
regardless who you are,
how u feel, wad ure tinkin,
there always IS a song for it.
there some always is.
because music is so extensive,
and we generally don listen to very much,
compared to the actual amount of music out there.
which is why i want to amass as much music as i can.
not trying to sound lit-ish or wad,
but music is a very powerful metanarrative.
our experience can be explained by it,
cos there will always be someone else who has had a similar experience.
and the beauty about music is that one can make the experience last,
through songs, one can write about it,
reflect about it, everything.
its a medium for communication, music is.
and also its a music of connection.
cos pple can connect with each other thru purely music.
honest. sometimes i tink its much easier to understand a person by his music rather den by him himself.
because the kind of music that we listen to,
it really reflects who we are.
conciously or subconciously,
i tink we are all drawn to music that we can associate with,
music that mean something (or nothing) to us.
and hence it is a very good way of trying to know someone.
much like clothing, or like they say judge a person by his friends,
i say judge a person by his or her playlist.
and u noe, u mite jus be surprised.

"theres a really fine line between whats yours and whats mine."

honestly, it couldnt be any truer.
and it really isnt just about what is whose.
its the whole idea really.
when it comes down to it,
there jus really is a very fine line.
anywhere. everywhere.
and the sad part is,
we never see it,
we never know where the hell the lines are drawn.
only until we've crossed it.

haiz. all along, i've always believed depression is stupid.
and i still tink it is.
but the prob is, now i'm starting to wonder if we even have a choice.
what happens when we are pushed again and again,
closer and closer to the edge,
what happens when hate anger and fury builds up inside?
if we cant find a way to let it out,
maybe, jus maybe, depression isnt a choice den.
maybe its a natural reflex then?
to find solace and comfort in feeling like shit.
i really dunno.
but now there lies the real problem.
what exactly is depression?
is there a definitive definition of it?
because, these days,
i find myself slipping in and out of states of mind that are dangerously close to what i tink is depression.
and i'm scared. afraid.
because i don wan it to happen.
i've seen what it can do to a person.
and i am scared.

--
i'll be thinking of you no matter what i do,
even when my life is up,
i'll still watch over you.
if u feel lonely and down,
pray tell u'll seek help from above.
i'm not perfect. no one is.
all we can do is try,
to make it all be right.
please remeber, that i never lied.
no one ever can know what its like,
to be fated to telling only lies.
i wish somehow i could tell u now,
you've kept me safe even when i left your side.
now this is all i have,
fragments of the person i once was,
all i can do to try and breathe.
and when it proves to hard,
try to remember,
that you could never make up your mind.
all i can say,
love will lead us,
in the middle of the night.
--

SUPERNOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

woohoo!!! lukas yay lukas yay lukas yay!!!

weee i'm sooooo gonna buy the sueprnova album. woo =D

yafa yafa yafa

zzz. listenin to my dad is painful. really. and hope to hell i havent inherited those genes... rfffff. and i am quite sad today, cos pe we ran, and den i realise how much my fitness (what little bits of it there was) has deterioted. i tink the stupid flu really took it out on my body lah. now i'm weak all over. MORE weak all over. this is very saddening. den play soccer i dunno why my crossin was screwin with me lah. its like, only maybe 50% of my crosses were half decent. dats sadd...

AHHHHHH. THIS WAITING IS KILLING ME. BAH.

nothing else matters...

yes yes. dats essentially wad it is. ok so i now have a modified list of things to get after exams, budgeting withstanding.

i now MUSTTTTT buy the following stuff:
1. the freddie mercury tribute concert (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Freddie-Mercury-Tribute-Concert-Mallet/dp/B00004
CMSX/ref=imdbpov_vhs_1/202-9376882-1924630?ie=UTF8)
if anyone's feeling kind, please do help me put in an order. i'll CONFIRM pay u back one. haha. and yep its in tape format. yep tape. apparently the dvd cuts the whole 1st half, which is a big reason why i wan the concert, hence i need to get the original.

2. all rise electric albums. lukas. nuff said.

3. ryan's songs from the eye of an elephant. i believe dats the title of his album. i NEEEED it. so bad.

4. the supernova album when it comes out.

5. new guitar picks. and in some quatities too. heh.

6. a guitar strap for my acoustic. i jus wan one. haha.

7. accessories. i wan to get a ring or two, a bracelet or two or three. and maybe a necklace.

yep i'll stick with this list for now. now someone PLEASE help me order stuff online. i'll luv u for life. peace.

<3

i absolutely absolutely absolutely love this song.

Headspin - Rise Electric

All I want to say
is you’re the sattellite in my life
You don’t have to lie
You don’t have to cry anymore

Lost inside your eyes
The vision never dies
Oh just take my hand
or float and never land

Then I hear you say
“Let’s live for the moment this time”
Then you want to keep me forever
Why don’t you just make up your mind

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why

You love to build me up
just to tear me down
Wouldn’t it be nice
if we found paradise someday

Then I hear you say
“Let’s live for the moment this time”
Then you want to keep me forever
Why don’t you just make up your mind

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why

Did I hear you say
you wanna be alone
Or was it a mistake
How would we ever know
I can’t hear you scream
You wanna be alone
I can’t hear you scream at me
scream at me

I’m not perfect
I’m not perfect
No, no, no
I’m not perfect
I’m not perfect

You make my head spin
You make my head spin
Why, why do you
You make my head spin
You make my head spin

Did I ever mean something
Did I ever mean something to you
Did I ever mean something
Did I ever mean something to you

sigh. its soooo nice. rah rah rah.

and aniwae, today is a GOOOOOOD day. i omg frickin passed chem, slept during chi, slacked thru the whole ss thing, wadeva. AND i ate 3!! scoops of gelato today. so i am :))))))))) haha. yay yay. i owe pple money now tho. tho pple oso owe we money. gah. incoherence creeping in like now. this is bad. very bad. i tink my bloggin is gonna fuck up my la paper badly. shits.

READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if till now msn is fucking u up,

start>run> (open with notepad)
C:\Windows\System32\Drivers\etc\hosts

add

65.54.239.80 messenger.hotmail.com
65.54.239.80 dp.msnmessenger.akadns.net

everything solved :D

i luv dudes who do these stuff. u noe, the so called nerds. yay smart pple!!!

su-per du-per woo-per

fuck it lah. wad the hell is wrong with msn???? cos apparently i'm not the only one having problems signing into messenger. GRRRRRRRRR. and clever me jus HAD to uninstall my windows messenger, which explains why i'm using the highly pathetic web messenger -.- fuck lah. i am uber pissed with microsoft. they prob fucked their servers somehow or another, or maybe someone jus went to take a piss and accidentally hit a switch or smthn. i need a gd anecdote here. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.

piss piss piss piss piss piss piss

in a weeeee kind of mood

haha. weee. hm ok so here are some songs i tink are very fun to play on guit. heh.

1. 23 - jimmy eat world. its a very nice long emo song with some nice riffs. its nice :P i luv playing the solo. acoustic :D

2. dont cry - gnr. ok so i stilll cant get the solo up to speed. bah. but other den dat the riff's fun.

3. everlong - foo fighters. its a nice song to play and sing at the same time. woo.

4. iris - goo goo dolls. play at ure own risk. but if u do decide to tune ure guit, the song's very nice to play, and its quite singable too.

5. blind - lifehouse. haha. i jus like playing this song. its bloody easy.

6. wish you were here - pink floyd. gah i haven touched this song in ages. i shall like now. its a very nice sweet song, which can be very touching dependin on the person. storm made herself and newsted cry. wtf.

7. broken - seether. its a beautiful song. sadly, i cant play it well. i jus cannot get finger plucking. gah.

8. collide - howie day. its jus sweet until cannot sweet lah. and its friggin easy too.

9. behind blue eyes - limp bizkit cover. the very first song i ever learnt how to play on guitar, and i still like playing it nowadays.

10. if you could only see - tonic. but i cant get the acoustic solo thing. i can only do the very first part. bah. but i can play the rest of the song which is qutie fun. heehee.

11. hear you me - jimmy eat world. its sweet.

12. hotel california - eagles. i can play most of it, bar the more complicated parts of the solos. its really very fun to play. like desperado on the piano haha.

ok. weeeee.

hm now some songs i like to play on the piano.

1. my immortal - evanescense. its nice, emo, quite easy, wads not to like?

2. november rain - gnr. its sooo easy, yet sooo nice. haha. i haven actually played the whole song once tho. it gets boring.

3. bohemian rhapsody - queen. its very jumpy fun. but i always mess up the end.

4. aeris'/tifa's theme - ff7. haha. they are nice pieces.

5. desperado - eagles. again very easy yet nice. weee.

6. drops of jupiter - train. haha. quite a simple song, nice song, singalong, dadada.

7. random chord progressions. i tink its the one thing i play most on the piano lah bzzz. jus play chords and notes. wtf.

8. listen to ure heart - dht. its a nice song with a nice intro riff thing.

9. because of you - kelly clarkson. nice song, quite easy ><

10. diary of jane - breaking benjamin. GAH. MAJOR GAH. if i can figure out anything past the first 2 lines i'd be very very very happy. cos its a great great great great great song to play. shit. SOME HELP ANYONE????

fuck lah. my mother whole day jisiaoing me. hate it hate it hate it. grrrr. anger building up. face turning read. ears fuming!!!! omg!!!! ARGH.

lukas lukas lukas lukas lukas

wahaha. go lukas!~~~

ok so aniwae if anyone's feeling rich and charitable, heres my wishlist of sorts:
1. an elec and amp. heh.
2. RAM for my comp.
3. shirts. preferably nice black ones.
4. a white blazer thing.
5. pink/black hairbands (someone?)
6. a bass :D
7. shades. woo.
8. a cap. i really shld get one.
9. a new nice hood thingy. haha. i like hoods :D
10. the funky acoustic they have on rockstar the one with the car rim like thingy. its cool.
11. new specs.
12. effects pedal(s)? hahhaha.

bah i'm too lazy to tink.

on a seperate note, i tink my head and leg pains have gone away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my foot

gosh. it is quite saddenin to tink anyone can 1) tink velvet revolver is good and 2) tink supernova MIGHT be as good as vr. it is seriously quite sad.

the only thing remotely decent about vr is slash. and come on face it. its yr 2006. slash was big in the 70s-80s. i mean, he's good, but i've come to realise, there are a whole lot of guitarists better den him. the thing about slash dat is so fascinating is the fact that he had a major influence on guitar playing. he's a decent guitarist with tons of style. his guitar riffs arnt as difficult as others i've seen around. i mean, i can play some of his stuff. and i'm noob. dat does say smthn about his stuff eh?

and gah the singer of vr cannot sing. i'm not jokin here. the cd is insanely digitally mastered lah. i rmb like 2 yrs back i was watchin some mtv award show and when i heard vr was performing i was pumped!! and after u heard them perform and was so disappointed. cos the guy CANT sing. i'm serious i'm not sure he even it half the notes to fall to pieces.

haiz. how can ANYone think vr is even gd? i thot they were and now i've come to realise my mistake. wtf.

you make my headspin,
you make my headspin,
why, why, do you...

7 weeks

that is all the time in the world i have to get my hair lukas length. sigh. jiayou hair!!

!!!!>

wahdafuck. this is seriously screwed up. now my neck is fucking hurting like free liddat, such dat any movement is tooo much movement. !! this is damn screwed up lah. my body is like slowly degeneratin into this useless heap of stuff. gah. i seriously need to get out of this flu thing bout soon. halp.

afliction

ahahaha. i have now discovered the wonders of online window shoppin. damn its fun :D although its rather depressing considerin i'll prob never manage to get anything ><

someone sponsor me :D

burn these damn walls down

FUCK. FLINGING ONESELF INTO WALLS SUCKSSSS!!!! ARGH.

serious. gah i dunno wad was wrong with me yesterday morning. i tink the millions of hours of sleep messed with my head. gah. i woke up at 8, wanting to watch rockstar. so i chionged to the toilet to brush my teeth. and i tink i was like a drunk person lah. i seriously couldnt walk straight. so wad happens? i friggin fling myself into the wall. THREE FUCKING TIMES. rawr. i mean like WTF??? it hurts bah. and i got a friggin bruise on my collarbone and another mark across my chest. WAHHHHHHHH!!!

den wtf i stumbled, somehow, to the hall and collasped in the beanbag >< >< >< >< ><

wtf ><

siansiansiansianSIAN!!!!

wahahahahahaha. i am so damn happy the ugly faggot of a twohill finally got kicked out. man is he one ugly sob.

ok so aniwae i koped this from pea's blog:


How many blogs have you had?
one =D

What is your current blog address?
www.evolni-amor.blogspot.com

Which blog has the most interesting blog address?
i quote: "Wilbur, hands down."

Which are the top 5 blogs which you read the most frequently?
hm. rockturtle (does it even qualify?), uh i cant really tink of any others :P

Which blog is the most frequently updated?
mine. seriously.

Which blog is forever in a hiatus?
"Diane, seriously."

Which blog has the longest posts?
cheryl's. yea.

Which blog has the most quizes?
at this point in time? aaron's?

Which blog has the most pictures?
dunno. lesters?

Which blog is the most witty?
-.-

Which blog is the most angsty?
haha. pearlyns. or aarons.

Which blog is the most gossipy?
trent.blogspot? o.0

Which blog is the funniest?
wilburs. no fight there. wahahahaha.

Which blog has the nicest template?
hm. mine? :P i <3 my template.

Which blog has the longest list of links?
uh, dunno. whichever.

How many links do you have?
zero.

How many people in your class have blogs?
hmmm. quite alot.

How many times do you check your blog everyday?
>< quite a few times. reason: beats me.

How many times do you update everyday?
hahaha. anything from once to five times?

Have you ever secretly written a post for someone in your blog?
duh.

Has anyone ever bitched about you in their blog?
duh x 1000000000 hahahaha.

Have you ever spammed someone's tagboard?
no duh -.-

Have you ever pretended to be someone else on a tagboard?
don need to. i hardly ever tag aniwae.

Do you like having people tagging on your tagboard?
yea why not?

Why do you blog?
a few reasons. 1. boredom. 2. further boredom. 3. theres notin else to do. 4. rant. 5. bitch. 6. uh, propaganda :D

ok another quiz from wilbur/pea's blog:

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Eye Color: brown/black
Hair Color: at the moment black. gah. it shall change.
Righty or Lefty: right
Zodiac Sign: aquarius.
Height: 170cm. ><

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: chinese
Your fears: alot alot alot. i did a whole post on it some alot of time back.
Your weakness: again quite alot. biggest weakness is definitely procrastination.
Your perfect pizza: i'm not a big pizza person.
Short term goal: do decently for eoys, get an elec, spam it.
Long term goal: ... still tinking.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your first thoughts waking up: ouch.
Your best physical feature: O_O
Your bedtime: for the past 2 days 9-fucking-pm. being sick SUCKS.
Your most missed memory: tuition days? or maybe japan.

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi!!! coke seriously blows.
McDonald's or Burger King: burger king. i hate macs.
Single or group dates: i'll decide when it happens :D
Adidas or Nike: -.-
Lipton Tea or Nestea: uh, wads the diff?
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla. i'm not a chocalate person. unless its white chocalate.
Cappuccino or coffee: cappucino

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: nope.
Take a shower: duh?
Have a crush: accordin to me no.
Think you've been in love: hmmm.
Want to get married: yah.
Believe in yourself: sometimes?
Think you're a health freak: i'm suuure.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH:
Drank alcohol: hmm. yes. it sucked btw.
Gone to the mall: ah duh.
Been on stage: hmm. don tink so.
Eaten Sushi: sadly not.
Been dumped: no...
Gone skating: nah.
Dyed your hair: how can -.-

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a stripping game: no?
Gotten beaten up: uh, don tink so :P
Changed who you were to fit in: haha. no.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:
Age your hoping to be married: 30? +?

LAYER NINE: IN GIRL / IN GUY
Best eye color: not sure it matters.
Best hair color: haha. i haf a thing for streaks :P
Short or long hair: depends.

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING:
1 MINUTE AGO: blogging.
1 HOUR AGO: sleeping.
1 DAY AGO: sleeping?
1 YEAR AGO: slacking?

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I LOVE: alot of things. headspin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FEEL: sick. sadly.
I HATE: suckups.
I HIDE: quite alot.
I MISS: someone
I NEED: to start studying.

wtf. i'm tooooo bored.

lalalalalalalala

haiz. i'm in luv with headspin. its a wonderful wonderful wonderful song. bish. i've become a lukas fanboy the same way i was a marty fanboy. oh yes and i absolutely adore the friggin hse band too. they are too damn gd. esp rafael. gah if i can play 1/10th as well as him i'd be damn damn happy liao >< rafael is god =D

GO LUKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you make my headspin...

stupid stupid me

wah fuck. this is terrible. serioiusly i haven felt this weak in ages. zz even typing is bloody difficult. and i'm a genius i tell u. last nite got headache, jus now i went to swim 1km. zzz. now my whole body's fucked up. haiz. i hate this feeling lah bah. everythings so cold, my limbs dont wan to move, everything.

fucking hell. pls lemme recover soon >.>

where the dessert jus don want to give u a name

haha smthn off wilbur's blog.

Why it is good to be a man?
-
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. (hm maybe not)
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. (o.0)
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time. (not true. serious)
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. (haha. really? since when o.0)
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. (uh, haha. go there and buy suitcase ah :P)
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
22. No maxi-pads.
23. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
24. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
25. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
26. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
27. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (ure head lah. my hairstyle don last 3 days.)
28. Your belly usually hides your big hips. (uh, wad belly? wad big hips?)

hahaha. very interesting. oh and btw i've taken to watching dave chapelle recently. he's good =D

well u got ure reasons

and so do i.

dont u haf this feeling,
it'll all come back one circle?
it all ends where it starts?
but then maybe, maybe dat aint such a bad thing.
maybe dats how we haf endings.
maybe thats how things eventually resolve themselves.

yes so again i am wasting my life away.
again i am doing stuff i shld not be doin.
again i haf listened to the first 3 songs on my burnt cd like 10 times.
dont cry, if u could only see, diary of jane.
and sadly, i prob will listen to those songs,
maybe another 2 mil times until i finish this post.
a VERY long post.
why?
cos i'm bloody bored.
yes dat IS true.

hm another realisation/revelation thingus:
i am very self-glorifying.
haha. bite me.
i've yet to decide for myself whether its a good or bad thing,
cos i tink its both.
too much of a good thing is a bad thing,
and too much of a bad thing makes you a good thing.
=D
wadeva. point is,
i luv myself.
uh no. ok wait.
point is i am self glorifying. yes.
i hope u get the point.
afterall, desmond rocks! (:

ok i haf re-read blog entries of japan trip,
again yes,
and yet everytime i read it i'm still....inspired.
yes i tink that word fits.
because really the climb was pretty much inspiring.
the whole thing was called beyond borders,
and it truly was dat lah.
call me a sentimental old fool (i am =D),
but i still rmb the whole experience quite clearly.
this yr i missed out on indie-venture,
but i don really feel...anything.
not sad, not happy. jsu, blahy.
i mean, it doesnt affect me.
and from wad i hear notin remotely close to japan happened.
on more ways den jus the climb.
haha.
i tink its says alot when jsu about everyone agrees dat he/she would do mt fuji all over again.
jus the way it was.
sweet.

and looking back,
not jus blogging but other stuff,
like diarys and stuff,
hahahahahaa,
i find it very amusing.
dont we all.
u noe, when u realise how childish and dumb and immature and stupid u sound.
haha. i luv to laugh at myself.
believe it or not.
its very gd for my health.

off subra's blog:
"i started laughing when desmond came, but i must admit, kewl pink hairband."
=D

if i were to die tom,
nah i won die tom.
theres too much i need to do b4 i die to fit in a day.

first, if notin else, i want to say my sorries.
yes i honestly do.
believe it or not, i do wan to apologise to pple.
theres alot of pple i need to apologise to.
jus for me to be at peace with myself.
henry, cheryl, pearlyn, amanda, wilbur, aaron, jonathan, yx, sher, xk, mancher, my sister mel, nick, yijing, aiya the list goes on for abit.
the point is, there is alot of apologising that has to be done.
and honestly, its all me.
i've screwed up too many frenships in my life,
i've made too many mistakes,
done, or not done, too many things.
i've forsaken many things,
i've made many things happen.
dat aint all a good thing after all.
its sad too, to think,
it all has to end somewhere, somehow.

and i dunno. i tink theres too much left i want to accomplish,
for me to die tom.
considerin the stuff i wan to accomplish b4 i die,
i will live forever :D

and again looking back,
at all the animosity and shit,
it really is qutie funny.
sad to say,
these things cannot be changed.
cliched as it is, wads done is done.
the sad part part really is that some people cannot get on with it.
or maybe its jus me.
honestly, i tink i've lost some ability to feel.
nowadays my thoughts have become very...bland.
somehow i don feel as much as i used to.

haha. i like quiz. i like list. i like top 10s.
why? hm lemem tink.
i tink its cos they provide an order of sorts.
they make things associate to each other.
really i haf a fascination with those stuff.
i like things to be structured.
in a weird way probably, but structured nonetheless.
i like top 10s, and anything similar,
its cos i like judging.
i like being in control.
it feels good to noe dat u are in control.
u haf the power to decide.
cos come on,
these kinds of oppotunities don come very often.
u gotta go create them for ureself.

i realise i haf strange...tendencies.
my taste in food is very weird.
i love butter. yes i do.
the other time i went cartel i ate like 4 packets of butter,
cos they ran out of bread. haha.
oil is good =D
and i like condensed milk.
i like milk with condensed milk.
haha.
i like condensed milk with water.
which makes me wonder,
when u dissolve condensed milk in water,
do u get milk?
afterall condensation removes water rite?
so u add water...... uh k wadeva.
point is its nice. condensed milk add hot water stir add ice.
woo.
ok i haf other eating tendencies.
i luv sauces of most kinds.
bbq, tabasco, alot lah.
and basically i can eat most things with sauce.
most edible things anyhow.
veggies, mushrooms and tomatoes and NOT edible foods.
so cool. i luv sauces.

wads with me and randomness aniwae?
my brain is seriously kinda messed up.
at this moment in time, 2.04am on the 5/9/06,
i haf not much idea wad i'm doin.
bloggin? maybe.
yes this is a very pointless and meaningless post.
so u tink.

i'm not being pretentious.
i'm not trying to be cool.
really, i'm not really trying to be anything but honest.
i'm being very myself lah.
i tink, being blatantly honest is hard.
i respect and envy pple hu can do so.
why? because most pple fail (very) badly in that aspect.
we are blatantly cruel,
blatantly blind,
but cant be blatantly honest.
maybe its because we're afraid of being blatantly honest.
and i tink it stems from the fact that we are afraid of others being blatantly honest.
it a mean, vicious cycle.

i love my music.
i really do.
i sometimes wonder wad my life would be without music.
without piano, now without guitar,
and most impt without actual songs.
i tink i'd be in a much much more miserable state.
cos music is something i seek and find comfort in.
i can use it to make this bubble of sorts,
create a world of my own.
and not only that,
sometimes, music can provide answers.
its like those questions about which song best represents u.
if u seriously tink long and hard about it,
i tink its actually a very good gauge of hu u actually are.
of wad u represent,
of wad u want to represent.
music is slowly grdually and steadily becoming my life.
i hardly tink i can live without music these days.
its comforting, more den anything else.

i like to make meaning of things.
hahahahahaa. yes its true.
i cant help but do it,
cos i don like not understandin things.
which possibly and probably contributes to my kaypohness.
WHAT.

some things change. some things dont.
is it possible den, to change the very fundamentals of oneself?
cos these days i'm trying, or at least i tell myself i am,
to change. to be a person i've never been.
for once, to not be a slacker,
and actually worry about my goddam marks.
and i'm worrying alright,
its jus i'm not sure i'm doin enuff about it.
u noe, i believe in letting things happen,
but i also believe that if and where u can do smthn,
do it if u want. and now i want.
ok i don tink dat made sense.
the thing is, i realise there are things inate in me dat cant be changed.
genes or DNA or wadeva.
technically, its not my fault. blame my parents =D
but yes there are things i want to, but really cant change.
like my playfulness. i dunno.
its jus in me, and curb it as i try,
it always comes out at some point or another.
another is my procrastination.
i keep telling myself, theres always a tom.
all talk no action, jus like this will be.
i raelise the only way i can actually get things done is to haf pple push me.
seriously. its like rushing overdue work to hand up rite b4 the tr keys in the results.
when those times come around i can do it.
i need that push, that bit of i dunno, kick?

seriously, my mind is only half-concious now.
i'm talking a whole lot of random stuff.
i aint even tinkin about hus gonna read this,
or how pple will read this,
or this and that or this and that.
i'm not really tinkin much now.
sigh.

i hate this feeling of missing stuff.
of missing people.
its always been a matter of so close, yet so far.
sigh. i hope it can work out somehow.
if nothing else for wad we had.
have?

-.-

some weird stuff:

1. i jus saw a show on cna where apparently this guy is the first, yes yes very FIRST, humour teacher in korea. HUMOUR TEACHER??? this is jus further evidence of korea/japan's penchant for strange things. wads mroe the bulk of his students are ugly fat housewives -.- i mean like its either ure funny or ure not. wtf.

2. this is a very weird and disturbing conversation dat occured between me and navi on msn. i wanted to cry at the end ><
navi: wanna play
me: play wad?
navi: d2
me: now?
me: and ures expansion?
navi: NONONO nest year today
navi: nono contraction
me: ...
me: ...
me: ok i don mind
me: gimme 2 mins or so
navi: COMMAS COMMAS COMMAS
navi: HOURS HOURS HOURS
me: i move back into my room

me: -.-

navi: ._. ._. ._. muahahaha

me: OHMYGOD -_-"""""""
navi: DEVIL DEVIL DEVIL
--
like seriously??? argh.

3. i realise, if theres one thing that these one and 3/4 yrs in ip has taught me, its to shut myself away from pple. seriously. and well i don tink its a terribly bad thing. now at least. i mean hey its a necessary skill when trying to study 2 yrs work in 5 wks. woots. but its not as if anyone will take me seriously aniwae. i mean, me? studying? it jus don go mate. but hell everythings gotta start somewhere i suppose. so like it or not, here i come =D

I CAN FEEEEELELELELELLELEL...

ok so 987 i shaving this ultimate songs to headbang countdown thingy. here's my shit.

10. vertigo - seriously. huh?? how does one remotely headbang to dat song? its the kind more shake-ure-head-side-to-side song rather den a headbang song.

9. the pug jelly or wadeva the new band's name is song. oh yah sore loser or smthn. - again WAD?????? dats jus dumb. gosh.

8. monster - the automatics. uh, rite. okaay. its not a terrible choice, but not a good one either. i'll pass.

7. jerk it out. WAAAAADDDD???!?!?!?!?!? this song is SOOOO not headbang lah. its the kind u groove to -.- wtf 987 shld go flind themselves off their building and let jazzy d run the show.

6. welcome to the jungle - ok cna lah. i mean gnr. altho i don really tink its dat much of headbagin shit. its nto daaat heavy.

5. when the sun goes down. haha it almost made it into my list. so yea i guess its pretty gd. hte rift is sweet shit.

4. faint. o.0. ok lah i guess.

3. are u gonna be my girl - ??!??!?! do they even haf any idea wads head bangin music?

2. teen spirit. ah finally a decent choice.

1. enter sandman. ok FINALLY a GOOD choice.

gah 987 sucks serious balls.




now MY top 10 headbanging songs.

10. trees. haha. really its headbanging quality.

9. diary of jane. the rock versions quite decent.

8. metallica - generally it always works :P

7. somebody told me. the rythym's gd lah. and i mean watch it done on rocksttar and u realise it really is very headbangable.

6. take me out. catchiest rift like ever!!

5. smells like teen spirit. some parts of it yah. esp the chorus. and come on its freakin nirvana.

4. lithium. its nirvana -.- bite me. and actually this song is very headbangy, considerin the chorus is sooo hard.

3. back of your car - ryan star. aahhhhhh. god-like.

2. rebel yell. ONLY the rockstar versions. the original is good but the rockstar ones are wayyyy better. haha. come on i watched the toby one 10 times consecutively can. my neck hurted after dat...

1. and the number one song to head bang to is....................... BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!!!!!! if this isnt hte most duh thing ever i dunno wad is.

ok so some that didnt go in but will always work include stuff from rammstein, funeral for a friend, bullet for my valentine, panic channel etc etc lah. basically all the heavy metal bands will work, and quite alot of heavy rock will do too.

haha ok so i might be wrong and left out tons of other songs (i'm qutie sure i did) but heh, its all me =D

www.fuckyou.blogspot.com

hahahaha its lmao funny.

ok so after 15 mins of random blog surfing, i haf come to the conclusion that there are tons of blogs out there, but about half of them probably only have one post. like -.-

the wonders of blogger. really -.-

yay i haf discovered a new hobby. its called fill in the blanks. haha.

this blank: www._________.blogspot.com

its so effin funny.

of chimpanzees and donkeys

seriously thats where it's at.
its looks like both, yet its neither one or the other.
a chimdonkey? a donkanzee? wtf?
dats how it all goes down really.
a little bit of this, a little bit of that,
it all adds up to something.
question is, what?
u tell me, i tell u,
it doesnt really matter.
all that matters,
is that someone actually says something,
instead of jus this lovely state of in-between,
this precious state of never-has-been-never-wil-be.
haiz. i confuse myself sometimes.