To write a song

hopelessly I'll love you endlessly


its so easy, and yet so hard

Use Somebody

i think to tell the truth the week has been fairly interesting, although nothing significant actually happened. i wondered about many things, i thought about what it means to be me, and still i have no conclusions.

i have to get away from games. its too easy, and too meaningless. i got to make my time worth something, if that's the only thing i do.

chirpy chippy chop

heh, changed the url. same old retarded person posting the same old retarded things to.

i feel happier already.

hey, i'm doing ok.

i understand something now. i miss msn. i miss the security and neutrality it offers. its so easy to say something or do something, because you dont have to deal with immediate judgement and response.

fine fine, i'm a coward.

Smart, but

between a couple of stones and a wall of rock,

we talk so much we're bound to rot.

its been a long week. its been more frustrating than i would have liked it to be. right now i'm just wondering how long more till i can figure this out.

if i am the moon, then you are the sun. and all that stands between us is the world. together we are an eclipse. what bullshit.

identity is a curious thing. i've kinda figured, one's identity is a social construct, a defense mechanism when around strangers. i mean when you're around friends, close friends, this whole "identity" rubbish tends to just fade away. because lets face it its about what we make of ourselves as much as what others make of us. and when neither matters, then identity ceases to exist. i believe one only really needs an identity when venturing out into the unknown, entering the abyss that is society. its terrifying to an extent.

so i've been trying to figure out my identity, to very generally put it. its not about figuring out who i am. its figuring out who people perceive me to be. cos i've concluded the person i think i am is vastly different from the person people think i am. i think i'm boring. and yet people can come up with such interesting stories, i myself am rather shocked. its always a case of "i did that??", or "i could do that??". there's a lot of differences here i need to try to reconcile, if not i'm going to forever be living in the shadow of a person i'm not.

who wants everything?

we'll fall in line, pay for our crimes,

looting the lives of those left behind.

blessing, or curse?

once more it has happened. i open my safari browser, surf all the usual websites, read my email, think about whether to pre-order the resistance, slack around, bop my head to some awesome itunes music, check to make sure my game is downloading, blog surf, think about what other sites i havent yet visited, then conclude that i've done all the necessary internet surfing there is to do. now to just read and reply my emails.

and then i realise, i haven't gone to facebook.

Little Expectation

i realise i'm always wanting the things i cannot get. its perpetual disappointment contained in a hat.

for tomorrow

i think a blog still means something. in this day and age of facebook, twitter and god knows what's next, having a blog aint quite the same thing as before. and yet i still find it my favourite medium in which to record, anchor and sometimes communicate my thoughts. with facebook and twitter, its all about being in the moment, living for no space and time. there isnt any thought to that, no meaning. must everything have a meaning? i suppose not, but for me perhaps. i cant stand, or rather a cannot accept provisional living. i'd feel lost.

so i've decided, i will put in more effort to maintain this blog after all. i need to keep my mind moving, and not get sucked further into the dumbing-bin that is the army. help me please.

dont give up on Hope

the youth of today are steadily fading away. we are forgetting why we're here. we're too caught up in the pursuit of achievement and success, we forgot that time is and will always be short.

now we still have the chance to dream. now we still have the chance to believe in the impossible. now we still have the chance to take chances.

soon it'll all be over. very soon we'll be sucked into the relentless cycle of adulthood, the abyss we shall never escape.

the youth are dying. the youth are always dying.