woohahahaha!!!

yay!! ok so i'm not really happy. i mean, its hard to be when ure wrist is bloody killing u... ugh. pain. and i realised smthn. acupuncture isnt dat bad lah. its jus...weird. esp when they start putting current through u. l was doin my wrist, so it felt lyk there was a heart beating in my hand. lol.

and another thing. i now noe wad its like to have ure hand chopped off. its bloody difficult doin things with only 4 fingers and a thumb. its a serious handicap... lol.

on a happier note, this whole blog entry was done on my pda. ^^ haha.

wft

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
juhrjeu43koi59tu85iot987yui85rueiaoq4897uuuuuuuuuut5j4sgues]
[matchbox 20 revival] cause i'll be the rain, falling on your fire escape says:
hfhydhyd

anyone want any songs? pls ask me =) says:
4t54utgrbf[

wft. what fuck the.

my name is...

i realise smthn. in alot of my dreams, there area always guns in it. like firearms guns. and i'm always bein shot at in some way or another.

so last night/this mornin i had another series of weird dreams. nuff said.

somebody saaaavveeeee meeeeeee....

christmas wishlist

ah yes xmas is here again!! like woohoo happiness!!

ok ok so i aint dat happy. hell if there werent smthn called presents i wouldnt be happy at all. but keepin in tradition of christmas, i shall thus create a wishlist. so.

dearest santa:
wattup santa. u noe, i've been a really good boy this year. yes i really have. look, i only failed my overall by 0.2%! and i passed half my eoy papers! and i only pissed about a few dozen people off this year... AND i only 2 huge arguments with my father. that just proves how good i've this year. i don really want to go into the minor details, such as me and my friends (last time dat is) causin a huge class riff.
so in light of all the good things i've done this year (no i did not donate to no beggars), could u pls give me the following for christmas? i want:
1. an electric guitar and amp
2. chelski to start losing (i noe i'm askin for quite alot here, but pls...)
3. man u to win everygame from now till the end of the season
4. england to win the damn world cup, and erikson to drop becks
5. a new pair of adidas shoes
6. franz ferdinand's newest album
7. john steven's red
8. a 80gb external hard drive. ok ok i'll settle for 40.
9. a xbox 360 (!!! pls pls pls)
10. a tonic that will ensure i pass my re-exams. come on santa i noe u got that hidden somewhere...

u see, jus 10 things. so pls santa, make my christmas a merry one. for once.

ps. to my frens: my bday is only 44 days away...

fight kill fight kill fight kill

pain...
yea my leg hurts like fuck now. jus now went bbq was barefooted for like mroe den 7 hrs lah... played soccer, bball, ran around... my leg jus hurts. bleh. and i ate like so little... wtf.

ok so i figured vanish O2 is plain crap. MY SHIRT IS STILL DIRTY!!!! like wtf?? the stains won bloody come off >.< ugh.

on a happier note, i havent done any holiday homework at all!! wee!!! ok ok i lie. i've read wutie abit of air-conditioned nation. yea, so i've done smthn. woohoo. and i also havent really studied for my re-papers. yayness. ok ok i lie again. i've revised chem except stoichiometry and acids and bases, and i've gone through the bio eoy paper. abit. haven really touched maths. i'm like sooo screwed...

ok so i resolve to spend the next wk REALLY studyin. i really cannot afford to fail. failin is bad. i repeat, FAILING IS BAD!!! UNDERSTOODED?!? good. so, i shall be online alot less, as i shall in some miraculous way find a way to distance myself from my laptop as much as possible.
--
wonderful now to more serious things.

i've been having alot of dreams lately. however, for the past 2 nites, i've had dreamless sleep!! yay!! (ok so i haf no idea why i'm happy or anythin. blah.) if u've read my dream theory (which doesnt make alot of sense i will admit), u'd noe dat... uh, i dunno. notin really. it's jus, i dunno. its strange dat for like a gazillion continuos nights i've been having weird dreams, and den suddenly i haf dreamless sleep. strange...

oh yes another thing. KOBE BRYANT IS TH3 MAST3R!!! wahaha. he's sick man... wtf he singehandedly outscored the mavs. dats plain sick.

oh yea and another thing. i read this article in today about ronaldinho bein named TODAY's sportsperson of the yr. u noe, the guy who wrote the article, dunno wads his name, i like his articles. he always writes these kind of articles, and i like readin them. cos they tell the truth, but in this very fictional way. as in he tells it like a story. i dunno. its..inspiring.

ok yea i'm bein totally incoherent here. wtf.

i'm waitin for this sky to fall,
i'm waitin for a sign.
and all we are,
is all so far.

one more day with you...

if you only knew

treasures the ones you have,
so that you wont have to live in regret.

i heard this somewhere.

forever?

i need you to show me the way from crazy.
i wanna be so much more than this.
no one would know,
us and the moonlight.

i always believed in futures.
the past is told by those who win.
what matters is what hasnt been.
believe your voice can mean something.

please keep in sight what makes you care.
you know time heals nothing by itself.
and if you were here with me tonight,
i'd sing to you just one last time.

it doesnt seem there's hope for me,
i let you down.
the world we love forever gone?

you'd be lucky to get out of life alive

memories.
looking back, we all do that.
recall, remember, regret.
we look into the past,
hoping to find answers,
when there are none.
we all have memories,
happy, sad, all kinds.
and i realise,
its not the sad ones that hurt.
its the happy ones.
times of joy, of laughter,
of fun.
all that now in the distant past.
and on looking back,
then u realise how much u miss those times,
how much u wish it could be dat way again.
and yet, it'll never happen.
things change, they always do,
and nothing we do can stop that.

everytime i look back,
back to the times we were all so innocent.
back to the times no one really cared.
back to the times i really had fun.
looking back, i really do miss those times.

why do the happiest memories hurt the most?
its cos u realise, they are gone.
forever.
theres no turnin back the clock.
theres no way to undo whats done.
and its then u realise how much those times mean to you.
happy memories,
they are the ones that you remember best,
but that also means they are the ones hardest to let go off.
and if you cant let go,
you cant really move on.
you get trapped in your past,
clinging on to things already gone.

then,
when you realise how its stoppin you,
then it hurts the most.

the dream theory

yes. so this is a strange weird theory i've come up with.

wad do dreams mean?
do they tell us things?
about others, about ourselves?
these are some questions i seek to answer.

dreams,
i believe they are the product of our subconciousness.
disclaimer: i haf done no research whatsoever.
i believe that dreams reveal what we really think.
well after interpretation.
as far as my own dreams go,
they are always...extreme situations.
my dreams, there are real people.
people i know,
yet in foreign situations.
scenarios that have no apparent relation.

take my dream last nite for example.
this is one of the few occasions i remember anything at all.
basically it started of with me and my family leaving my grandma's house.
well in reality she stays in tamp,
but in my dream i had no idea where the hell i was.
den i got onto a 31 (which does go to tamp).
den i dunno wad happens here.
oh yes, i was rushing to school.
when i arrive at sch, and i haf no idea how,
its not vjc.
its some weird place,
and i have a strange feelin i've seen/dreamt it before.
its a school, and there are 7 floors.
one floor for one level.
top floor for staff.
yes, it was a primary school.
kong hwa primary, judging by the uniform.
i run up to the top floor, and i see...
ms sharma, my sec 2 geog tr.
she gives pieces of paper,
with stuff on it i didnt comprehend,
and i don rmb wad the hell it was.
weird stuff.
and i look out of the window,
and in the neighbouring school i see...
dunmanians.

here i wake up.

ok so lets analyse this dream.
i went to kong hwa from p1-3.
significance? not sure.
my sis studies in dunman.
meaning? dunno.
ms sharma? uh, dunno.
my family? dunno.
pieces of paper with no meanin?

so wad does this all mean?
well, my dream was made up of fragments of my self.
so are dreams that?
unrelated fragments of our thoughts, our past, our selfs?

i tink in some part yes.
but there must be meaning somewhere.
there always is.

one thing i remembered from my dream.
acutally alot of dreams are as such.
i'm always running.
wad does that mean?
i'm not sure really.

someone, somewhere,
do enlighten me.

dreams are the manifestation of our subconcious mind,
they, i beleive, show us what we really think.
when your dream includes people you know,
i could possibly be showing you how you really feel towards them.

that is of course,
if you first can rmb anything.

--

i think i'm goin crazy.
help.

SOS

um, my template kinda disappeared. like woohoo. ok so i discovered this some time ago, but nvm.
leon?

so aniwae the song now is hear you me by jimmy eat world. damn nice song, but i suggest you don listen to it if ure feeling really down. lets just say it won help.

sigh. i don really believe it, but i shall start work and revision soon, soon bein like a few hours from now. what the hell.

is this how it ends?

is it?
must it?

you know i wish it werent this way.
i dont want it to end.
not ever.

but, i dont know.
am i giving up?
i dont even know.
i tell myself not to,
but things just dont seem that way.
as much as i dont want to admit it,
i guess it is true.
this could just be the end.

i really dont want to,
but if it really is for the best,
if there really is no other alternative,
then i guess i dont really have a choice.

holding each other's hands,
it only takes one to break away.

and well, you've got Him now.
more so then ever it appears.
and it seems this is where our differences lay.
in faith.
at the end of the day,
i guess you're right.
it will be for the best.
for you, maybe for me.

if you're reading this,
and i believe you are,
i'm sorry.
for your sake,
maybe it really is time for us to part ways.
you've got things to do,
a faith to believe in,
and i wont stand in your way.
i promise i wont mess it up.
yes, our lives are so different,
and i think we both need some time apart.
i've got thinking to be done,
re-papers to be faced,
and its probably best i do it alone.
you once said maybe you were too reliant on me.
i'm thinking, was i too reliant on you?
and i dont know.
i guess its also time for me to face this world on my own.
we promised never to say goodbye.
and i hope, maybe one day,
we can talk this over.
again.

i'm sorry.

love,
desmond.

please. i beg you.

i'm sorry. but why? i dont understand.

if this is really it, at least...

at least give me a conclusion.

deadpan

death is over-rated.










































































~to be continued~

please read this

hello everyone. i have a book reccommendation to make. At the present moment, i am currently reading a book titled Skeptics and True Believers: The Exhilarating Connection Between Science and Religion.

This book basically looks at the difference between science and religion, and how the two are related. It looks at people's general perception of science and religion, the progress of these two schools of thought throughout time, and how today's society is influenced by the forces that are science and religion.

I believe that everyone should read this book. This is for a variety of reasons:
1. It is very well written. The writer, Chet Raymo, writes pretty damn well.
2. Chet Raymo uses alot of statistical evidence to support his claims.
3. The book will give you more insights about science and religion, and their roles in today's society. Raymo analyses the various different aspects very thoroughly, to give a complete picture.
4. The book is written as objectively as possible. Raymo tells the reader at the beginning his stand, but also looks at the pther poinht-of-view.
5. The writer was a christian when young, hence he has experience with Christianity.

Nb. I think that especially Christians should read this book. I'm sure we all know my stand on religion and Christianity in particular, but this book gives you an objective take on very pertinent issues. Also, Raymo does not in any way put down or malign Christianity. He does not attack it, instead showing how Christianity is relevant in the past and now, just as science is. He does nto take a particular side fuly, instead putting forward the claim that without either facet, science or belief, the human mind isnt complete.

better than this

haiz.
its the holidays once again,
and i'm reminded once more,
why school was such a wonderful place.
reminded why i enjoyed myself so much.
reminded why i really do miss times in school.

the holidays.
yes its a break,
but is it really?
do we actually get a break?
i dont.
everyday is a bloody torture,
everynight bleeding painful.

someone tell me.
why is it that parents cant shut up?
why is it that parents never see the need to chat with friends?
why is it that using the computer for personal purposes is wrong?
why is it that listening to music is wrong?
how is it that a father can come home irritated, shout at everyone, and expects everyone to do exactly as he demands?
i seek answers,
answers that arent forthcoming.

its times like these,
when i realise just how much home means to me.
or doesnt.
everyday having to listen to the same old crap,
over and over again like a broken record,
its tiresome.
and i realise,
i dont really care about this family.
i really dont.
the value of family is lost to me.
whatever it stands for,
i no longer believe.
i've lost faith.
or rather my faith hsa been broken.

walking out is not an issue.
not now.
many might say i'm jus bein rebellious and shit,
but in all honesty,
i'm more than willing to leave.
if someone, somewhere,
could take me in,
or if i could somehow find a way of supporting myself,
i will leave.

we should plan for our future.
yes i agree.
but different people plan different things.
and i have some of my plans made.
i'm running away.
is it a short term solution?
yes.
is it a feasible solution?
i dunno.
but will i live to regret that decision?
no.

i guess yeah we must plan.
but dont over-plan.
well maybe its just me.
i don like the structure,
the need to fix things.
i'd rather take things as they come,
to live for the moment.
i want to enjoy my time.
to enjoys the times.
planning, it takes away that sweet sensation.
the exhilaration.

sweet emotion.
its not rock and roll.

ouch

ok i'm like having mental block, so cant really blog properly. so i shall jus be bloggin short reandom posts.

ok so like yesterday i went for cai pai, and den cos we damn free notin to do, so we took out cards and played. i learnt dat:
1. betting push-ups sucks. for me that is. i mean, when u play daidi and like haf to do 44, and ure as weak as me, it aint good.
2. playing poker nailbiting. what more with the kind of people we haf. i mean, its the kind of chiong pple who don worry about doin push-ups. like one round we bidded until 55 push-ups. ow. lucky i won dat one ^^
3. bballers are scary. like strong scary.
4. this is ideal for our performance, cos we're gonna be close to bare bodied. if we keep at this everyone's gonna haf a 6 pack by then...
5. it hurts. my arms are closeto dead now. i cant even swing them, nor can i carry anythin much...

zz dats it. i'm in pain. and bloody bored. this is so crappy. shall find somethin to blog about soon.

i just want you to know

another ripped quiz:

Are you currently grounded?
nope.

Do you snore?
i've been told...

Are you a lover or a fighter?
both ^^

What's your worst fear?
failure prob.

As a kid, were you a lego maniac?
yep. still haf ALOT of lego at home.

What do you think of 'reality' TV?
boring nowadays. and largely fake. ROCKSTAR IXNS IS THE BEST REALITY SHOW EVER!!!!!!

Do you chew on your straws?
dunno. sometimes.

Were you a cute baby?
yes.

Is single life for you?
hopefully not.

What colour is your keyboard?
black.

Is Barbie sexy?
nope. her boobs are too big, her legs too thin, head too empty and has no cunt.

Do you sing in the shower?
sometimes.

Have you gone bungee jumping?
nope. but i really want to.

Do you have any special talents?
erm, dunno. its relative. the talent to irritate people?

What is your ideal vacation spot?
many actually. england, new york, paris, canada, portugal

Can you swim?
yeah.

Are you a virgin?
yeah.

Do you care about the ozone?
no.

How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop?
i dunno. 1. wad the fuck is a tootsie pop? 2. why the hell do i want to get to the centre of ir? 3. must i lick it? i'd rather suck...

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
doubt it.

Have you ever been on an airplane?
yeah. its nice.

Are you an only child?
no.

Do you prefer mechanical or electrical pencil sharpeners?
i use a mechanical pencil.

What's your stand on hunting?
hunt all the hell u like ^^

Is marriage in your future?
dunno.

Do you love your handwriting?
nope.

What are you allergic to?
dust mites.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
never happened. i tink.

Do you cry at weddings?
nope.

How do you like your eggs?
fried.

Are blondes dumb?
depends. the prettier ones usually are.

Where does the other sock usually end up?
on my foot.

What time is it?
dunno. oh yes 10.26.

Do you have a nickname?
yah. many in fact. progressed over time.

Is MacDonald's disgusting?
no. but the food is kinda boring and lousy.

Who's your hero?
myself.

Are you in love?
head over heels. (goes and check tagboard)

When was the last time you were in a car?
jus now. on my way back home.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
don care.

Is Santa Claus real?
yah. santa claus = me.

Do you like having your neck kissed?
dunno. never had it happened. although i tink i mite :P

Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes.

What are you addicted to?
sugar, music, sports, football, myself, food, sleep, my guitar.

Crunchy peanut butter or regular?
not a big fan of peanut butter.

Can you crack your neck?
yah.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
nah.

How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
once.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
yes. very much so.

What colour are your eyes?
i dunno. brown -> black.

How loud do you sneeze?
depends. sometimes loud sometimes soft.

Do you like your life?
YES!!!

Do you play any musical instruments?
piano, guitar (kind of), dats about it. but i can pick up stuff relatively fast ^^

Can you skateboard?
yes, but badly.

Have you ever stolen anything?
yep. 7-11 is too easy.

Do you like camping?
yeah. it is fun.

Are you horny?
depends. if i feel like it i could do it. the gel i'm using now is this weird nivea one which is pretty strong. and i still haf clay. i now to go get wax and spray. >.>

Do you snort when you laugh?
uh, doubt it.

Are dogs man's best friends?
nah. girls are man's best friends.

Do you believe in divorce?
not sure.

What's on your mousepad?
i don haf a mousepad. or when i do its like my guitar pick or smthn.

Can you do the moonwalk?
sadly not.

Are you a racist?
kind of. like i don particularly dislike any race, but i do laugh at them. for fun.

Do you make a lot of mistakes?
yes.

Is it cold outside?
dunno. my aircon is on...

only one

things i really need to start doing:
1. taking more photos. i seriously need to start getting more photos. my collection now is rather sad.
2. read the bible. i'm at exodus >.<
3. hit the gym and go running.
4. read. in general. i wanna get some non-fic books to read, in addition to the usual fiction.
5. get an amp to play the elec i borrowed from daniel. i seriously need to start palying my guitar. well.
6. write.
7. write.
8. write.
9. my webfolio. possibly.
10. shop. i'm deprived.

heres to the night

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not. - George Bernard Shaw

He looked out of the window, watched as the rain fell down onto the earth. Watch, as the heavens opened up, looked up to see but a bird flying in the sky. He stared long and hard. It was an eagle, gliding through the clouds that lined the horizon. The rain fell steadily, yet the eagle kept flying. airborne for the endless depths of time.

Everytime he looked, his life was in shambles. It had been this way for as long as he could remember. He had fallen so hard, so many times already. How was he to get up?

He walks in the rain, hoping it will all come true one day. He dreams.

--

a man without dreams is like a bird without wings. without dreams, a person cannot fly, a person cannot soar. without dreams, everyday is but anyday.

we must dream. dreams makes us more than who we are. it allows us to become the person we want to be. it elevates us to that special place, the place where truly nothing is impossible. dreams allow us to make things happen. dreams let us accomplish things we never thought we could do.

my father always tells me, dreams are nothing. they will get you nowhere. the reality is that the world is out to get you. and to this i say, you're wrong. yes the reality is that the world throws shit at you. but if you do not dream, if u restrict yourself from doing so, then you are but stopping yourself from going higher, from goin further.

dreams fuel the human spirit. it is that that makes us tick. as much as it is cliched, it is true. dreams do come true. granted msot wont, but if you give up now, will they ever come true?

--

Candles we all hold,
Aid the very sorrow we dont know.
Rain we all will fall,
Raw is the skin he wears.
Yearn for sweet beginnings,
My life to make it seem.
Young is that heart that burns,
Lost is the hope he was made to earn,
Over the rainbows he wants to walk.
Vain are the ones who saw this life,
Earnest are the souls who truly have gone.

Living for the times we both will share.
Long for the love we cannot bear.

in the end

tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesnt even matter.

i'm running through my problems again,
they keep crawling right on under my skin

if i think like you think,
it dont make my load much lighter.

i figured out what you're all about and i dont think i like what i see.
so i hope i won be there in the end when you come around.

love doesnt have to hurt

what is frenship? the term is commonly thrown around, but do we actually noe wad fens really are? to different people, friendship means different things. and to me, friends are very important.

friendship to me, is a commitment. or rather it must be a commitment. friends must be willing to sacrifice for each other. the saying "friends in need is a friend indeed". i tink dats wrong. a friend should be there, regardless whether you are in need or not. u must be willing to go the distance.

yet, i still believe friendship is a giving relationship. give, and hopefully get back some returns. one should not expect anything from the other party. be willing to always give, and in due time, you will be rewarded.

for true friendship to hold true, the simple element of trust is all important. it is the thing that seperates normal friends from the ones that truly matter. it is the defining factor of a working relationship. not just must you trust the other party, you must be able to place your trust in the value of the relationship itself. to be able to trust, and thus to know, that the bond between two people will ultimately transcend all petty issues. belief that it will hold strong. sounds impossible, but it can be done.

in any relationship, there are always problems. its inevitable. i have seen frienships degenerate, just because one or both parties weren't willing to give in. its of course easier said than done, but it can be done. even if it takes weeks of silence, it can, and will still work.

how quickly will you give up? how badly do you want that person? your answer will tell you jsut how much that person means to you. if he or she really means something to you, you won't ever give up. i believe in this. true friends must believe in one another. the cant just trust that the other party will act in a particular way. they must know it. they must make sure of it.

do u remember the time, back in primary school, where you told your best friend "friends forever"? i'm sure you've heard the phrase countless times, yet is it possible? i think it is, but you must be very clear how dear that person is to you. don't make empty promises. and it could work. it just could.

friendship hurts. it always does. which is why it should not be taken lightly. i believe a person is made by his or her friends, so be sure you pick the right people to surround youreslf with. it will sustain you or fuck you up real bad. nowadays, i think kids like us take friendship too lightly. we realise how important it is, how crucial it is in our lives, yet i'm not sure we're doing anything about it.

real friends must be willing to face the problems head on. one must not cower, must not run away from the problems. because it will ultimately cost each other each other. a lack of communication is key to breaking up two people. so we must be willing to talk. resolve issues as quickly as possible. yes give each other time, some space to think, and when that is done solve the problem.

i guess for me, themost important part of a true friendship is that both parties must put in the utmost effort for it to work. to do the above and more. to do everything within your capacity to understand the other, and to let the other understand you. its a gamble we have to take, lowering our walls, exposing the fragile inside. its a gamble that may pay off, if one puts in the effort. its hard work, i must admit.

true friendship. it asks for so much more than just a normal bf-gf relationship. and its so much better.

its hard to find someone like that, but if and when you do, its special aint it?

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. - aristotle

whats cooler than being cool? ice cold!!

i don understand why pple are so worked up over their marks. come on. stress ureself once over the exams, why stress ureself after them?? wads the point? jus accept what you got with a smile, laugh about it, (i find my chem marks or lackthereof very amusing), and get on with it. the fun that is.

note: grace chua is a horrible and lame dj. guy tells her its a gd day and asks for daniel fucking powter. grace chua: "its a gd day why are u asking for a song called bad day? -laugh laugh-" like >.<

so back to point. i tink pple are somewhat over-reacting to the whole exams thing. i dunno. maybe i'm jus under-reacting, not caring enough blah blah blah. hus to say? at least i'm all smiley and happy.

on another note, i jus had to major arguments with my dad in two days. yes. on sunday i almost walked out of the hse. almost. i was halfway through packing my staff when the whole family was forced into my room to "settle the issues". and well we jus argued. i was losing/lost my temper at my dad. we were really shouting at each other. oh well, too bad i didnt get to get the fuck out of this place.

its good to know there are pple there for you.
its nice to know pple stilll do care.
i'm thankful that there is someone to fall back on.
we plan to run away when we grow up.
its sounds like what two small kids will say,
but its the truth.
i plan to run,
and at least i know u'll run away with me.

it'll be you and me

i shall rip this thingy off wilbur's blog.

10 YEARS AGO I:
was 5.
was botak.
was short.
was in a christian kindergarden (ie church).
learnt how to play football.
was at my babysitters.

5 YEARS AGO I:
was 10.
was in tao nan.
was kinda crazy.
got into ALOT of trouble.

2 YEARS AGO I:
was in vs.
was still short.
stole from 7-11.
fought with yb.
got into alot of trouble again.
fucked up my eoys.
sat through a lesson by mr koh on "fuck".

1 YEAR AGO I:
had possibly the best year of my life.
started liking pink.
stopped stealing.
started disliking religion.
learnt that i haf horrible memory.
began talking to sher regularly.

YESTERDAY I:
played badminton.
played lan.
fucked up my arm real bad.
stayed up to watch the eng-poland match.

TOMOROW I WILL:
go to school for fucking j2 farewell assembly.
prepare for openhouse.
go out. hopefully.
chiong cs.

3 PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
england. london or manchester.
usa. new york, la, florida.
brazil.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
prove the non-existance of god.
travel the world.
earn lots of money.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF :
coolheadedness.
my ego.
ability to pick up anythin with relative ease.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF :
weak.
low eq.
inability to trust people, bar one.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
fire.
loss.
failure.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
wakeboarding.
playing bass.
working a job.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
i am partly peranakan.
i hate god.
i've played cs less then 5 times in my life.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
get an amp.
master palying the guitar.
borrow cs form jared so i can play.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
journalist.
entrepeuner.
physcologist.

i can see clearly now

yay the exams are over. whoopee...

so.

these are the things i want/need to get, in no order:
1. an elec guit + amp
2. new shoe (canvas, maybe adidas)
3. new shirts
4. a ball pump
5. new picks
6. strings 4 my acoustic
7. bball shorts
8. boardshort or 2
9. a new bag
10. wax, hair spray
11. new pair of specs with tinted lens
12. contacts

things i want to/will do during the hols:
1. cut my hair (read murder)
2. dye my cutted hair
3. work on my guitar playing
4. get a job
5. shop like hell
6. get together with (ex)tuition mateys
7. play soccer alot
8. play bball some
9. watch movies, the more the merrier
10. change my plan (oct 22 actually)
11. blog more
12. hit the gym
13. go jogging
14. crash pple's hse
15. stay overs (?)
16. go cycling
17. re-learn to wear contacts

hm i'm having writers block. kind of. actually more like bloggers block.
fuck.

XXX

ok everybody. i'm now a pornstar. yay.

etuare

austria cheated.
they fielded a non-austrian player.
Andreas Ibertsberger wasnt austrian.
he was fucking french.

jus look at the way he reacted for both challenges by becks.
come on ever sonce that asshole left man u i loss all respect for him.
but yesterday he didnt deserve to be sent off.
i mean, the first challenge:
he went for the header,
stuck out his arm for leverage,
got very little contact.
wad that french bastard do?
crumple to the floor like he's been owned by a roy keane tackle.
come on. its becks.
he couldnt tackle so hard to save his life.
wimp.
so yes yellow crad, tho it mite haf been for smthn he said afterwards.
no matter.

second challenge.
i was thoroughly shocked.
becks didnt even make a tackle.
he pulled back from goin all in jus in time.
trailing leg clips the fucking french asshole.
wad he do this time?
the french way,
he falls like he's jus been crunched from behind.
flailing arms,
loud scream,
body snapping back,
falling and tumbling on the ground in exuberent fashion.
isnt that just so typically french.
and i tell u,
it is one of the better dives i've seen.
notin beats the viera one,
but this is close.
the yellowcard was so unwarranted.
ref can kiss my ass. bullshit.

so austria cheated.
fifa should do smthn...

open your eyes

sigh. i cant get over her. hm. its strange. considering i saw her for wad 15 mins?

someone help me.

what the hell??

yay. i failed maths. honestly. i rule.

so, i'm bored as hell and cant give a shit about the papers tomorrow.

wonderful.

the shit playing on 987 totally blows.

fuck it.

wad the hell am i doing?

ok i guess this is really random.

sigh.

ok ok i noe.

i shall make song/artist recommendations.

everyone should listen to this kind of shit.

1. anything marty casey. i highly recommend trees, everlong, wish u were here, creep and mr brightside. and baby one more time.

2. sugar we're goin down. woot.

3. anything creed. mp3 only. do not, i repeat DO NOT watch any of their vids or look at pictures of the band.

4. everlong. original and acoustic.

5. bohemian rhapsody. queen, suzie mcneill, elton john & guns n roses. ONLY.

6. journey.

7. chicago.

8. my chemical romance. helena and i'm not ok. and if u can all the rest.

9. good charlotte ^^ special mention for riot girl. plus the normal selection.

10. scars. original and acoustic. papa roach.

11. alterbridge. open your eyes, down to my last, broken wings. and the reat if u can.

12. air supply.

13. swing swing. all american rejects. by far their best song.

14. i am the walrus. the beatles. its just plain funny shit.

15. freestyler. bomfunk mc.

16. boyzone. great songs.

17. unconditional. the bravery.

18. busted. !!.

19. jimmy gets high. daniel powter.

20. save tonight. orignal and acoustic. eagle eye cherry.

21. hotel california. eagles. plain classic.

22. eric clapton. u noe the songs. i hope.

23. doa. big me. foo fighters.

24. wake me up when september ends. greenday.

25. smoke on the water. metallica version.

26. november rain. guns n roses.

27. i predict a riot. kaiser chiefs.

28. photograph. nickleback.

29. somewhere out there. our lady peace.

30. pieces. sum 41.

31. under pressure. my chemical romance and the used.

32. velvet revolver.

33. westlife.

yeah. dats all i can tink of.

now for shit u must NEVER listen to.

1. britney.

2. jessica.

3. ashley.

4. hillary. nb i now somewhat detest joe madden.

5. avril.

6. james blunt.

7. travis.

8. jd fucktune.

9. pussycat dolls. look don listen.

10. s club anything.

11. rem.

12. gwen stefani.

13. keane.

14. jesse mcfuckney.

15. jay chou.

16. the reason. if u've heard it more than 50 times. limit air time of this song to once a month.

17. boulevard of broken shit. i mean songs. its sad...

18. holiday. greenday.

19. goldfrapp.

20. madonna.

21. lindsay.

22. G4. they suck balls.

23. dido. ew. i can only rmb it as dildo minus the l. >.<

24. destiny's child.

25. craid david.

26. bep. jus keep lookin at fergie.

27. barenaked ladies. they are pretty much crap.

28. a1.

29. 50 cent. he's, uhm, borin.

yes that will be it.

now u noe wad to and not to listen to.

enlightenment.

my dreem guitar - BIlly Martin SE

lose yourself

i am kinda screwed. the bio paper is 9 hrs 45 mins away and i havent done any revision today. AND i'm pretty sure i've forgotten everything i haf already studied >.< sigh.

oh yes my guitar string snapped!! the high e string. i took out the rest. now theres one less distraction. one down, many many to go... sigh.

wad the fuck am i doin?? fuck. i shld be studyin bio, the subject i can go suck cock with. its like, wad the hell. i'm so fucking screwed. ugh. couple that with falling asleep in class. best.

i rule.

girl on the mrt

sigh. i'm really sad.

ok so i shall start from the beginning. i was on my way back from toa payoh, after my cai pai. it was 6+, on the 1 of oct. i stepped into cabin 18 (accordin to toa payoh numbering). i then walked over and leaned against the pole right at the centre. picture this. u walk in. turn right. the seat on your left in front of you, nearest to the door. there.

there she sat.

and damn was she pretty.

ok i've said this many times actually. she isnt wad you'd conventionally call pretty/chio/hot. i dunno. maybe and probably its jus me. point is she struck me, kind of. and its like, i was wearing a cap, blasting my ipod in my ear. irrelevant facts actually. point is, she jus sat there, playing with her phone (i seriously don tink she smsed).

so she was roughly our age, give or take one year. not very tall, judging from her sitting height ie how tall she was sitting down. she was wearing a apir of adidas (!!) shoes with pink (!!) stripes. yellow socks. short brownish skirt, the pleated kind if dats wad its called. she as wearing a black top, with like a jacket thing on top. i cant really rmb wad the jacket thing looked like, except that it covered her arms till abit past her elbows. she had on this pair of really cool/nice specs. it was the half frame kind, maroon-brown, moderate thickness. and she had her hair tied back in a ponytail. i guess her hair is about shoulder length, maybe abit longer.

she was relatively slim, not anorexic. she had damn fine arms and legs. nice tan, proportionate. she had rather nice hands. if i rmb correctly, she had pretty lips. rather small, not poutish but not too straight either. and she had ncie eyes. yes. judging from what i could see at least. and she had a nice bag too. brown-grey, with some pattern on it which i tink is pretty nice. and it was a shoulder bag ^^.

so.

what now?

when you haf an exam tomorrow but don really give a fuck

as u can tell by the title, i am very much wasting time. which is good. ok. i shall rip the thingy of wilbur's blog. haha. its...interesting.

The rules:
1. Write something about people you know.
2. You CANNOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks which is about them, you CANNOT tell. This also applies to people asking about who other people are.
4. Some may be a bit the obvious (that's the idea), but don't try to guess less you get it wrong.
5. The good thing is, you all may take whichever one you think refers to you, and post it on your blogs, but i won't tell you whether you're correct or wrong.
6. Clue: None.
7. You cannot ask me anything I don't want to answer.

ok here goes.

1. where do i start? we go back quite a long way. its been almost 5 yrs now. haiz. the times, the times... you've been a great friend, and i know you always will be. so many promises haf been made. lets jus hope we will follow through on them. smile yeah? and pls do take care...

2. yo bro. wattup? haha. oh well wad can i say? 1. you're gay. 2. you're a bleedin fag 3. you're a pal. i tink. we've had alot of fun times. memorable really. and i hope it'll be this good forever. (yay i'm quoting everlong. lol) brush up on ure guit and we can go jam! and honestly, jd sucks core.

3. hi tai tai. i haf to say you are fast. not like runnin or anythin (duh) but u noe... go through..stuff fast. haha. maybe its true. u do wan to beat your sis? maybe, jus maybe.

4. hm. fire boy. hows things? esp with, u noe... one month? we'll see... haha. u noe, having u around is useful. we could use u for "stuff". haha. i dunno wad to say. you shld maybe be less gay with ure boyfriend? and be more accepting of "her"? haha.

5. yo black. (and here i haf to admit wilbur's one was motherfuckin hilarious) wattup man. you shld be mroe open u noe. i mean, come on no one goes through a yr, at this age summore, and can say you never liked anyone rite? haha. and don let ureself be bullied so much eh. yeah.

6. hm. mr don give a fuck. interesting person u are. come on man. some things call for commitment. don last minute always pang seh can... ugh. and u owe me a guit. and a jammin session.

7. its kinda strange. we can actually talk now. but i must say you've changed alot since the start of the year. and for the better too. maybe dats why he... uh nvm. lets not go there shall we? haha. but yeah. its a good thing i guess. although it'll be alot better if u'd stop usin markers so much >.<

8. hm. i personally feel dat you're fine to talk to. however, there is a serious problem, where around certain people, and i shant say who, you become someone else almost. its really like two different peoples. or maybe they jus bring out the other side in you. which is not good. and don live in denial.

9. hm. the above very much applies also. you two are very much alike in that way. but you. man... work a little bit harder, and you won haf to worry so much. and control ureself.

10. sigh. you're so different from the guy i knew last year. good? bad? i would hardly know. we don really tok now, but i wish you all the best. and with her too!

11. its strange. i'm actually kinda surprised you havent jus put this all behind you. i mean, wads the point of asking for forgiveness? does it really matter? we both haf more impt things to deal with. i know. i wont ask you to change, jus as much as you wont ask me to. keep it like that. theres no need for anything more.

12. ok i shall cheat abit. hey you two!! haha. thanks alot for the bible. its very much appreciated. and i understand your desire for me to see as you do. but sorry to say i'm still very much a non-believer. now at least. will it change? who knows? haha. thanks alot again.

13. bitches never do come harder den you do they?

14. the kind of relatioship we have is really strange. its maybe again the issue of the environment. and for you its drastic. but with them aside, hell its fun. don keep dwelling on the past yeah? things here arent really that bad u noe...

today is a good day

is nice jus an excuse?
i dunno.
maybe people say that so they don have to explain.
or maybe they don want to face it.
come on...
i seriously doubt jus cos a perosn is nice is reason enough to like him/her.
there must be other reasons.
haha.
i'm confused.

dont you worry.
i'll be back for you.
it'll only be a matter of time.
cos i'm out to get you.
muhaha.
so is she pretty (nice)?

roflmfao

arrogant selfish brat.
how lovely.

one day,
just waiting for that time.
and when it comes,
i couldnt be any happier.
its lovely,
to must see you again.
lovelier,
if i do never wake up.

on the road of self-rediscovery

"what is my biggest flaw?"

those who wish/have an answer to the above question, pls email me at desmondchan11@hotmail.com. i'd be very glad to hear from. thank you. and yes even if u don like me, i would actually really like to hear from you.

talkin to her on the phone

i hate secrets.
really.
but i have so many.
and i know quite a fair bit too...

ugh.

the thing about secrets,
it binds you.
it controls you.
it gives others power over you.
control.
and i hate that.
u can say i'm ego or wad,
but i've never been the most sharing person in the world, bar one.
but that has changed alot.

and i really thinks its takin too much.
i've made my first step.
lets see if i can keep it up.
or not.

how i wish, wish you were here...

times like these

watching people is very fun.
ok so i come up with crazy thoughts,
but dont we all?
thats where the fun is isnt it?
and come on.
if u noe the truth,
nothing others say will change it.
(and no i shant go on about how the pomo man believes there is no truth etc).

haf fun while you can.

nb. people should stop living in denial.

music, makes the people, come together..

i realise that there are always song that reflect exactly how u feel.

Broken Wings - Alter Bridge

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
in our souls
Leave the peace alone
Now we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold are always first to go
And who's to say we won't end up alone

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
in the same place with all I love
Mend the broken homes
Care for them
they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give will always carry you
And who's to say we won't survive it too

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

Set a free all
Relying on their will
to make me all that I am
and all that I'll be
Set a free all
Will fall between the cracks
with memories of all that I am
and all that I'll be

On broken wings I'm falling
and it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
by the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I'm bleeding
and it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
and I'll search for so long

all i ever wanted

i like lessons.
any lesson.
cos at least there is some peace.
i need to read my bible in peace.
and no i'm NOT converting.

nb. people should learn to shut up.

crumbling empire of infatuation

i turn around,
upside down,
turna turna turna turna turn around.
but all that i can see,
is just a lemon tree...

words of wisdom indeed.
for thats wad its like now.
and how it shall be.

find peace.
that is my objective,
one of my greatest desires.
nah i don give a fuck about wad nobel peace prize or what shit.
fuck world peace.
i don care.
i'm looking for something else.
my peace.
selfish? maybe.
self-centred? yes. 100%.
why?
cos its my life,
its my resposibility,
for my actions determine who i am,
and who i become.
and one of the most important things to me,
is the ability to find peace.
withint myself.
and yet its so hard.

finding peace.
maybe dats wad yoga is for.
but is it really about meditation?
of course not.
"peace. its does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart." -unknown
those words can be no truer.
and my failure no bigger.
that is my goal.
to find the calm within,
and sadly, its not happening.

its a dangerous little game we all play.
with each other.
especially in the 2 years in vs,
i've seen quite abit of shit.
tolerence issues,
conflicts of every kind,
and i've learnt one thing.
if one is to find peace,
one must know turmoil.
one must face the problems.
and only then can one find true calm.

den i qn myself.
haf i done that?
face up to my problems,
tackle my issues head on.
have i?
i'm not sure.
i cant say i havent,
btu then again i cant really say i am.
its like climbing a wall.
i'm climbing,
yet i don noe if i want to go over.

its really doesnt help with the kind of people i have around.
really.
after awhile it gets frustrating.
i'm beyond irritation.
its part of me now (sadly. an issue i have to address).
its a whole new level.
well kind of.
considering things don change,
how its the same thing repeated over and over again.
much like a broken record.
nb: is it me or am i surrounded by broken records? maybe i've walked into the wrong shop.
i'm sicked of it.
and sadly its always the same fuckin people.
the same fucking table.
the same fucking voices,
saying the same fucking things.
the best part is,
what they say,
its all meaningless banter.
"oh my god!!"
"really??"
"goodness!"
"hurhurhurhurhur"
"aiyaaaa..."
"don liiidaaat laaahhh..."
"you're so fat."
"you're ugly"
words that have absolutely no meaning at all.

well my point is that all these is really wearing down the patience i've tried so hard to build over the years.
i know my limits.
and i know they werent as they were last year.
maybe its the people.
or the school.
i dont know.
i'm not trying to make excuses,
cos i know alot of it eventually boils down to me.
i'm living in a past.
or actually i'm trying to recreate the past.
trying to find what i found,
even though i know its already all gone.
things here arent the same.
people are immensely different.
you get a whole new spectrum of things.
pms, bgr, scandals etc...
i tink its hard to say i've not moved on,
but i guess i have yet to let go.
yet to allow the past to be my past.
as much as i try to make it my present,
i know it won't happen.

i guess one leads to another.
to find the peace i so desire,
i must learn to let go.
well actually its more like learn to accept,
that it won be like before.
it cannot be.
i cannot be.
for things have changed me.
i've become a much different person than before.
much.

i have to clarify.
its not that i don find peace.
i'm not some turmoil filled angst machine or anything.
its jus dat i've realised that in sch,
it harder and harder for me to keep myself in one state of mind.
the numbed one.
the one that advocates violence,
in al its manifestations,
i've tried my hardest to supress.
i really have to be thankful that i'm not really alone.
for i tink i'd probrably go mad.
its very comforting to know there can and will be someone there for you.
someone you can turn to in need.
for that's usually what pushed a person forward,
instead of over the ledge.

calm in my heart.
its difficult.
bloody well so.
but nonetheless,
its must be done.

ever felt lonely?

cos i'm in too deep, and i'm trying to keep, up above in my head, instead of going under

hm. swamps are pretty fun. ok scratch dat. VERY fun. yeah. i'm not joking one bit. today we were suppose to do some coastal clean up at sungei buloh, but it turned out to be a mud party ^^. ewll for us vipers aniwae. which is why i say we rule. i mean, i could only imagine if any of the j1s had gotten as dirty as say subra of olivia. they'd freak out. i mean, they are really hopeless. and accordin to marjorie, one j1 girl said that the were "smarter cos they kenw where to step, hence they did not get dirty". well dats true. it doesnt really matter where u step, as u don really sink in sand. normal sand. with mud its a different story altogether.

hm. j1s are wimpy. subra is wimpy. daniel ho is wimpy. well dats the truth. like what the fuck ure already dirty. does it really matter how dirty u get? i tink wilbur would make a good adventure partner. maybe one day i'll climb mount something with him. yeah. but back to the wimps. j1s are jus plain hopeless. they are too afraid to get dirty, and claim to be smarter than us cos they won be dirty. wads their agenda? cip never is about cip. well involvement yes. but its mainly about having fun. rolling around in mud is fun. subra is a scaredy cat. afraind to get dirty (the irony). lol. and daniel is a plain wuss. i would bet my life on it that we wouldnt haf dared to even touch the mud. (sidenote: when i was washing my shoes jus now i found some mud still in its exact condition. thought about keeping it, then decided against it.) so aniwae, he didnt turn up, cos he's prob (and almost defnitely) too afraid to get his precious little (touching) hands dirty, to scared to be a man maybe? oh no i forgot. his hands are for a different purpose. dirty, but defintiely not muddy. lmao.

hm. playing in mud is fun. even though rolling around with (and like) the worms in there can be abit freaky, its still fun. and walking in mud is WAY cool. the sensation is really unique. like suction baby... the feeling of ure foot goin in and out of ure shoe when u try to extract ure leg is, erm, sensual to say the least?

hm. diane lost a shoe. roflmfao. well its not funny but it doesnt fail to ammuse the careless stranger. and diane does weird things. like asking guy(s) to play with her, admitting to liking nuts, wanting to cut jus cos her shoe got stuck in mud (must be depression) and getting her clean shirt dirty. smart girl she is.

hm. being hosed down by ms toh is jus so wrong. must take special care to ensure u come out the same person (read gender) u were. protection is key here. ms toh is perverted in the head. seriously.

hm. the whole experience was really cool, since the last time i actually walked on/in mud was like 3-4 yrs ago. and i definitely want to do it again. although i'll prob wear my fbts or smthn. and an ugly shirt. maybe i'll find a chelsea jersey. hm.

hm. pity the wimps werent there. well wimps/bimbos. u noe. the like. people like beatrice, yx, amanda, cheryl, audrey. lol. it would haf been bloody amusing. watching them whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine... u get the idea. it would really be funny. not forgetting those from the other classes >.< imagine:
bimbo 1: "oh my god! we're suppose to go into that?? -squeels-"
bimbo 2: "-shriek- so dirty and disgusting!.."
bimbo 3: "yarh..."
me: -rolls eyes-
bimbo 4: "eeyugh... hmph i'm not goin ANYWHERE near that."
toh: "oi all of u! what are u all doin? standing there like a bunch of taitais."
bimbo 5: "but miisss tohhh..."
bimbo 1: "i am SO not goona dirty myself."
me: -rolls eyes-
wilbur: -laughs-
bimbo 2: "wad lah."
bimbo 3: -crosses arms and refuses to go anywhere near the swamp-
bimbo 5: "i noe!! lets jus pick up all the stuff here. den don haf to touch the mud."
bimbo 4: "eeyugh u mean we must touch all this stuff? so diirrtyy..."
me: (to them and subra)"wa lau don be a cheebye and jus go in lah."
subra: "shit up/fuck u."
imagine. (note: this has been re-recreated cos somehow it got deleted o.0 wtf.)

hm. i realise i jus began all my paragraphs with hm. hm. interesting.

hm (wtf). the coastal cleanup thingy was hence fun, minus all the irritating noises. we haf a plan. muahahaha.

propaganda

great songs dat everyone should listen to:

1. trees, marty casey
2. everlong, marty casey/foo fighters
3. photograph, nickleback
4. here by me, 3 doors down
5. helena, my chemical romance
6. home in me, mig ayesa
7. wish you were here, marty casey/pink floyd
8. bohemian rhapsody, suzie mcneill
9. live and let die, any of the numerous covers
10. suspicious minds, JD fortune
11. dead on arrival, fall out boy
12. sugar, we're goin down, fall out boy
13. mr brightside, the killers/marty casey (i strongly reccommend the former)
14. leader of men, nickleback
15. be my escape, reliant k
16. right here, staind
17. it's been awhile, staind
18. sweetness, jimmy eat world
19. knocking on heaven's door, there are jus too many
20. down to my last, alterbridge
21. somewhere out there, our lady peace
22. bittersweet symphony, the verve/oasis
23. another brick in the wall, pink floyd
24. listen to your heart, DHT
25. jimmy gets high, daniel powter
26. make up your mind, theory of a dead man
27. hello lonely, theory of a dead man
28. suteki da ne, ffx (i tink the composer is nobuo umatsu)
29. middle of nowhere, hot hot heat
30. jouney songs
31. making love out of nothing at all, air supply
32. all out of love, air supply
33. 98 degrees songs
34. hard to beat, hard fi
35. boys of summer, the ataris
36. be yourself, audioslave
37. like a stone, audioslave (audioslave luvs the wa-wa peddal)
38. ALL backstreet boys songs
39. ALL westlife songs minus the jazz
40. stay together for the kids, blink 182
41. living on a prayer, bon jovi
42. bowling for soup (you cant really go wrong)
43. meant to live, switchfoot
44. dare you to move, switchfoot
45. beautiful letdown, switchfoot
46. u2 (again u cant really go wrong. although i never liked vertigo much)
47. velvet revolver (u mite go abit death, but nonetheless...)
48. forever, vertical horizon
49. you're a god, vertical horizon
50. blue orchid, the white stripes

anone who wants any of these songs (and are too wimpy to download it yourself), or haf any reccommendations fro good songs, pls drop me an email. haha. down with piracy!!!

knot tied tight to last forever

extreme boredom + good music -> extreme music + good boredom

eh the above equation sucks core.
wadeva.

i tink i'm goin crazy.

i haf marty's trees on repeat. >.< i tink i've listened to it about 20 times already.

this is stupid. but wad the fuck the song rules!

fanboyism

Trees - Marty casey

i, don't wanna go through this life,
without you, by my side.
and i, have got it all worked out
in my head, here's how it's got to be.

it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.

we, we make believe,
in a world we rule together.
we,can build our dreams,
with a know tied tight to last forever.

it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.
it'll be you and i,
up in the sky,
it's a combination for disaster.

yeah yeah yeah... yeah yeah yeah...
we got one shot,
so what are we gonna do.
it'll be you and me,
up in the trees,
and the forest will give us the answer.
it'll be you and i,
up in the sky,
it's a combination for disaster.

and i know there's more for us in this life...

this song owns all. 

sing it! i love rock and roll...

It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best. - E.R. Bulwer-Lytton

are we but living in the past?
move on, only to realise you really are standing still.
you seek trust, but do you give any?
you want respect, but do you give any?
much as this world is about give and take,
whos giving, and whos not taking?
jus how often do we ask ourselves this?
its so comfortable for all of us,
such that we forget,
the fact that the world is much bigger.
even as the world gets smaller,
with technological advances and the likes,
i cant help but feel,
its fucking ironic,
that though the distance between new york and singapore is getting much smaller,
the gulf between two people,
standing side by side,
is increasing by the day.

friendship seems so far away now.

this isnt about anyone in particular,
but if u tink i'm referring to you,
good.

like some punk ass kid sitting in front of the tv, then migrating to the laptop, wastin time typin crap, listenin to music and running out of space...

i'm bored. what can i say?

little boys and virgin girls

since the issue is bein discussed on my tag board, i shall give my view.

pretentious: Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified. (dictionary.com)

are the people in the vip pretentious? yes. without any doubt at all, positively yes. vipers are pretentious. however, i realise the word has many negative conotations, and in many circumstances varying definitions.

vipers are pretentious. no doubt. but their ways are largely different. there are a few kinds, revolving around different factors.

the first is academic excellence. here in the vip, we are the elite in singapore. or we're suppose to be aniwae. anyhow, the point is that there is alot of competition. and because of this competition, this desire to be better than others in terms of marks, it results in neccessary distinction. this distinction makes people pretentious, whether you want to believe it or not. people here base much judgement on marks. examples are ample. how many times haf you heard or asked "eh wad did you get for the test/assignment/ws?" it jus goes to show how much emphasis is placed in academic execellance, over anything else. no, not by the teachers, but by the students themselves.

the second factor is that of ego. of sorts. people (or course not all, but many) want to show, possibly even prove, that they are better than others in a certain aspect, or in different aspects. i don haf a problem with people who ARE better, beyond reasonable doubt. you jus haf to accept it. i mean, your're so not gonna beat wilbur in sailing. but as the definition goes, "especially when unjustified". i don jus refer to the people in v14. i mean the WHOLE ip. there are many, and i mean MANY people who are like that. we should all "want to be the best". that is the correct attitude. but those pretentious ones constantly TRY to APPEAR profficient in everything, when they arent. dont we all see it every day? the wannabe attitude, that ultimately spawns the pretentiousness. (is there such a word?) pretending to be something you arent, petending to be someone you aint.

the above are but the extreme.

but in the vip, people are all pretentious, in their own little ways. its a matter how how much they show, and how much you (choose to) see.

absolutely nuts

stupid things i do when i'm bored as fuck:

1. do random searches on letssingit and download the songs dat haf "interesting" lyrics.
2. search an artist on limewire pro and download any of the songs which look remotely listenable.
3. create dumbass quizzes. like wtf??
4. write weird poems dat are specifically about no one (although my brain has ceased to function recently)
5. jump around in my room. yes mindlessly jumpin. i mean it. i actually do this...
6. throw a tennis ball around the room, accidentally hitting my guitar or laptop or smthn...
7. strum my guitar >.<
8. listen to bohemian rhapsody 10 times (i haf 5 diff versions. lol)
9. think of stupid ways of murdering my hair (!!)
10. this.

nobody will break my heart

friends are there when u need them.
true friends are there when u don want them.

a friend shares his cake with you.
a true fren eats it, then brings you to the pastry shop to but one.

i never realised how important friends were.
or not.

we need each other.
survival is mutual,
or none at all.

been living for tomorrows all my life, searching, waiting, watching...

i haf to say this.
some people are irrtatin the fuck out of me.
(yay, some of u will say...)
with no particular individual(s) in mind,
these people get on my nerves:

people living in denial.
they are so fuckin (here i refrain from usin goddamn) myopic about things, its sometimes amazing. shocking that it can actually be that way. i mean, some things are jus so bloody obvious. its also hilarious, when a person can immediately do what he(for simplicity's sake i shall use he.) claims no to. in the space of 5 secs.
people all haf impressions, some call it stereotypes. i noe it too fucking well. hell start failing and u'll noe wad i mean. i noe i'm looked down upon. i noe my marks give me a bad name. people here in the vip base alot of judgement on academics. hey i aint saying this is fucked up or anything. well it is, but there is basis for it. i mean, in such a competitive environment, marks is the first and sometimes only comparison.
so when placed under a particular image, i tink its bloody stupid to claim to want to fight it, and den do nothin. wait, i'm goin off point. point is, some people keep tellin the whole world who they don wan to be, yet they are exactly that. claim to not be a suck up, yet act cute in front of trs. and then deny it. thats really the cherry on top man...

bimbos in v14.
there are a specific couple/threesome here. but that doesnt matter. the thing is, i'm getting so irritated with all the stupid brainless remarks, the wannabe actions, the acbc attitude.
its like, its tiresome after some time to say the least. i mean, we are all smart. duh. we're the fuckin vip. but when these people start becoming stupid, as in un-thinkin, it fucks up everything. its like i don recognise them anymore. people haf changed too much. for the worse. and now it gets on my nerves. bloody hell it does. fuck it if its jus me. it doesnt matter. the point is that bitch or not, they haf changed. mutated. and in all honesty dats not a gd thing.

people who don stand by what they say.
this is qutie an issue. a personal one too. cos i've witnessed this many many times. i really cannot stand it when people say one thing, then becasue of something, probreably popular opinion etc, then revise his or her stand. i haf a big problem with these kinds of people, mainly becuase of my nature. i am one who will stand by wad i say, wad i believe, and fuck u if u don agree. but i hate it when people's stand keeps changing. its all in the futile attempts to fit in isnt it? and its not jus 14. i also see alot of it in 13. in wanting to fit in, to be accepted by the mass, one changes and confirms to the norm, even after statin clearly that he or she would stand by his own stand.

like fuck u all.
i cant stand it.
i'll make it fuckin clear.
if u tink i'm being egoistical and all,
so be it.
i don give a fuck anyway.
i'm allowed my own opinion.

this is but the tip of the fuckin iceberg.

all the things she said

even within the eng language, there are words with absoutely no meaning at all. not literally, but they haf no siignificance. GENERIC WORDS. (nb: this after some lang lesson last yr lol). i've learnt never to use any of this words. as much as possible.

1. nice.
2. good.
3. bad.
4. mean.
5. evil.
6. etc the words of this sort.

why? because there is no meaning fixed to the word. like, i'm nice. compared to osama of course i'm nice. there is signifcance in using the word. i've seen it so many times. "oh my ure so nice!". "omg ure very nice too!" "no no URE nice!" me: -_-"
jay taught us this last yr. if u must "express" the above ideas, you haf to show it. you cant jus go "oh ure mean..." and leave it at dat. mean? fuck mean. prove it or shove it.
it shows a few things: limited vocab, limited brain capacity, limited intellectual abiltiy, etc.

gang bang

the 10 kind of people i dislike and that irritate me, in no order of preference:

1. people who make empty promises. theres jus no point in them. after awhile the lies start to run dry.

2. people who pretend to do what they cant. its a boring act really...

3. show offs. its bloody irritatin, considering they hardly are any gd. i mean, if ure like in national team i notin to say, but if u suck? uh...

4. people who don noe when to shut up. its funny. the first time.

5. cheaters who don admit it. its against the very basic cheating mantras.

6. acbc people. c = chio, cute, clever. the point is, theres no use pretendin ure smthn u arent. unless, ure seriously disillusioned, theres a limit for everything.

7. people who cant hold an argument. actually, i don exactly dislike these kinds of people. they provide comic relief. BUT when ure put up against one, i tell u it sucks, and its fuckin painful. cos 1. it gets too funny for u to think about a proper rebuttal 2. when u do calm down u cant rebutt without sounding totaly duh or stupid.

8. egoistic fuckers. there are two kinds. those who noe it and those who don. those who noe it i still can stand. barely. but those who don even realise it, jialat. it gets to a point u can drown in the egos flyin around (mind u this is at times only one person).

9. suckers. as in parasites. people who suck of others. constantly, and deny it.

10. whiners. they are the worst. and its getting worst.

as u can tell, i haf a tendency to want to hate myself alot.
anyway those in question, if u noe who u are, pls tag my board and receive a free gift at the counter dude.

fragile little girl

she, that little fragile girl.
so happy everyday,
anyday.
nothing could bring her down,
couldn't blacken her day.
even the rain go away.

she, that pretty little soul.
everyday flying on wings of joy,
riding clouds so high.
soaring,
no one could catch her.

she, that cold mean bitch.
fingers freeze at a touch,
eyes pierce through your heart.
to get to her so hard,
what more through her.

she, my fragile little girl.
where are you?
--
do i believe in fate? i tink i do. do i believe in destiny? not in the least bit. at least not in the conventional sense of the word. what is fate? its largely debatable.

i feel that a persons life is jsut like a path. and these paths are all placed on a plane. fate, is the planned intersections of this paths, at distincts points of it. some are crossed once, some twice, some tens and tens of times. this is by no means destiny, jus fate. fate is the planned occurances of things, most importantly people. two people are brought together for a reason. love, hate and everything in between. fate is wad initally brings u to people, and wad brings people to you.

destiny, on the other hand, is a whole load of bullshit. i believe so. though some things are fated to happen, they arent destined. it might seem fucking ironic here, but i tink they are two totally diifferent things. destiny is something thats supposed to happen, not so much planned more than a perception. people think that is one is "destined" for smthn, he or she will definitely achieve it, sooner or later. this is a whole lot of bullshit, as the only thing we're destined for is death. and even that we cant be too sure. fate is not a goal. fate is an occurance. fate is not a guideline. fate is an occurance. put it this way. when u say two people are destined to meet, it means that they are sure to meet, regardless of situation, regardless of anything else, they will meet. this is jus plain crap. whereas when you say two people were fated to meet, it means that they happened to meet, very much a coincidence, but their is meant for alot more den jus the passing of strangers. that isnt destined. its fated.

destiny, as one might want to call it, is YOUR plan in life. that is your destiny. is is how you want things to happen. destiny is your choice, not anothers. yes, they will haf a role to play, but ultimately its still down to you. what you do, the things you say, what you allow to happen, all this defines your destiny. if thats the right word to use. cos if its a goal, then there must be a build up, and this build up has a name.

life.

nuclear ambitions

already gone
broken glass line the streets,
the lights all faded,
the moon having given up.
in this time,
he could only stand there.
still as the nightsky above.
locked in time.
though he could see,
his mind was a void.
and so was his heart.
empty of any feeling,
dead to the touch.
his shirt ruffled in the wind.
--
its times like this that i truly understand,
what the world is to me.
its but a bloody game,
one to test our resolve,
see how far we'll reach.
it calls to us to soar,
to reach for the stars so high,
only cause he wants to see us fall.
he, and i don mean no god,
is out not to play us,
but to watch us play.
this cruel game that he had set,
played according to his rules.
and we arent given a choice.
for his conditions are simple.
survive.

one must often wonder.
why is it we're subjected to this kinds of battles.
struggles, yet with no apparent reason at all.
but are we ever given an answer?
can we be given one?
here we sink into the gray area of our minds,
the parts best for seclusion.
but is that any way out of this vicious cycle?
i would think not.
its a strange world,
governed by stranger people.
one has to survive,
keep up with the moving tide,
and of need be,
use every ounce of energy just to stay above.

his rules arent fair.
they never were,
and they never will be.
why, we ask?
becuase it never was meant to be a fair game.
the odds were never 50-50.
it would be stupid if it were.
those odds always suck,
because there is absolutely no gurantee.
without any, would he play this cruel game?
his intentions might have been mighty fine,
but he wants to win.
we all do.

who is he?
thats up to u to decide.

aa

1. i found u out? wads there to "find out"? its there all out in the open. and pretty obvious too. its not like its some big secret or anything. and u tink i spent all my time trying to "find [you] out"? i've got better things to do. like messing with my hair.

2. i don exactly plan to "spread" this thing, considering that every will prob already know, sooner or later. and it doesnt really help if ure confidante is going around telling everyone is it?

3. swear at me all u like. i'm scared all rite... like oh fuck fuck fuck .whoa.

4. wads with all the threats? castrate me? wad for? i honestly don give a shit about wadeva dats goin on with u. i honestly don care. i don make it a point to get involved in everything u do -rolls eyeballs-

5. pls don fuck me up. i really want to reserve dat for someone ALOT more deserving. like a dildo.

6. its is unbelievable. accept it.

7. its so ironic. tho there is so much i could or do depise for, i dont bother with trying to intimidate you. hell i don even do anything. why? simply becos there is no need 4 me too. like i said, i have better things to do. i also haf to feed my dog. i don see a need to tell the whole world how much i dislike oyu, as they prob already know. fuck i don even hate you. cant be bothered to.

8. wads the issue aniwae? so wad if i noe? afraid i'd steal her?? wad the fuck man... and fyi i knew about this some time back. don u blame wilbur.

9. i'd really like to see you carry out ure promises. or try aniwae. it'd be interestin to watch.

10. before u blame anyone else, take a look at ureself.

i'm mighty scared i tell you.
i'm so in need of someone for protection,
for bragging rights.
send me a postcard.

running through my head

is time ever right?
we live a life of choices,
decisions which will shape our future.
made in the past,
lived out in the present,
destined for a future.

is there ever a right choice?
is there even an answer?
or is it all about the discovery?
i'd like to think so.
life's a big joke.
how will you go along with it?
do you know how to?

we learn from our mistakes,
such that we do not recommit them in the future.
so we say.
for no matter how hard we try,
its just in human nature,
that things will keep happening.
life's a marathon.
not one ran on a course,
but one ran around a track.
round after round after round.
its the same old things over and over again.
the difference,
is in how you face them.
turn it up, slow down,
dats your call to make.
but always you must keep a lookout,
for the people behind and/or in front of you.

its a fine balance.
very fine.
will one bad decision ruin your life?
possibly.
but many a time,
the decision wont destroy your life.
your reaction does.
its all in how one takes it.
takes the shit that life relentlessly dishes out at you.
do we stand up,
or take it lying down?
i tink it all depends.
decide what is right.
sometimes you jus haf to face it.
some things there is no running from.
for the further you run,
the quicker it'll catch up with you.
and it'll strike harder.
but at other times,
one must learn to let it past.
don allow it to ruffle your feathers.
isnt depression all about letting things get to u?
especially when it shouldnt.
its all in the little things.

there are always different possibilities,
all laid out in front of you.
how do u noe which to pick?
is there a right path to tread?
i seriously doubt so.
paths are made.
by man, for man.
paths are created,
the product of one man's desire for exploration,
to discover the unknown.
one must be willing to strive for what you desire,
to tread the path you want to,
not the path you think its best to tread.
need be, and in many cases you must,
create your own path.
maybe, just maybe others will walk it.

"i've come to regret what i did".
a phrase i'll never use.
why?
cos no good will come out of regret.
i don allow myself to regret any of my decisions,
simply because life is and will always be a progression.
movement.
why stall?
regret will only bring about dissapointment,
and this inevitably holds you back.
becuase of this,
people don progress,
they don move on,
trapped in their own past,
a past that has already left long long ago.

you only get one shot.
true and simple.
take it.
the present is but one moment in time.
there is no time for second doubts.
no second tries.
with only one chance,
what will you do?
blow it?
absolutely not.
its pretty impossible to say that you have to make the right choice,
since its really subjective,
but make sure you don regret it after.
even if things do fuck up,
even if things seem down,
never allow youself to be consumed by regret.

he who doesnt kill u only makes u stronger.

mood: grinning

do things change?
its a question no one can really ans.
but wad i find interesting,
is that life seems to be this very small circle.
a cycle of sorts.
i dunno.
does everything happen for a reason?
its strange, the irony.
it seems that everything isnt anything at all.
almost like a set scenario,
only with different characters.
is this a post-modern life?
every situation has been done before,
its always the same.
different people, same words?
is change really change at all?
can there be change?
or are we already set out in this script,
an auditioning room of sorts.
do we bring about change?
or do we jus alter the situation,
jus to call it change?
i dunno.
so many questions.
so little answers.
someone pls enlighten me.

don u jus sense the irony.

best of wishes.

suck my balls

you don get it.
you all jus don.
since thats the case,
couldnt u jus stay out of this??
i mean, pls do not insult us.
we are the true blue victorians.
this means alot to us.
DO NOT MAKE A MOCKERY OF IT.
u think its so funny do u?
joke about it.
how we're over-reacting and all.
btu do u noe wad it feels like??
imagine they made tkgs co-ed.
imagine they made scgs co-ed.
wad would u tink?
well maybe its diff.
VS so something more.
we have culture.
we are family.
once a victorian, always a victorian.

to those who tink its funny,
i'm tellin u its not.
and do not try to replicate wad we do.
u don understand our motives.
u don understand the situation at all.
fuck u. we don not need bitches insultin the name of victoria.
tarnishing it.
be more fuckin sensitive will u all?
this is a fuckin important thing to us.
yes we're fuckin worked up.
we have reason to.
fuckers.

never imagined it could be

why are people becoming so whiny??
its getting worse and worse,
and its sooo irritatin.
and its not just the usual suspects.
its the ones you never thot would be whiny.
worse still, two whiners face of.
-dies-
i cant help but feel irked when the respective parties start whining.
the sounds are disturbing,
and it sure as hell does not help the class environment,
not that its goddamn gd aniwae.
but still.
maybe its jus me.
probrably so.
but still its apalling how some people can change so much,
become a different person within days/weeks.
and start whining.

and bimbotic.
the usual ones nothing can really be done.
but when the most unlikely person becomes one?
thats scary .
i don get it.
in the past i never imagined it could happen,
but you've proved otherwise.
transformed into a true blond bimbo.
a bimbo with an attitude still.
your sardonic behaviour,
i have to say is getting out of hand.
dont you know what tact means?
i'm sure you do.
you jus don seem to be able to practice it.
not anymore.
its insensitivity taken to an extreme.
your behaviour has changed drastically.
and i cant say for the better.
maybe it'd get you to fit in better with the girls.
i wouldnt know.
but it contrast so much from before.
maybe its a good thing.
well lets hope it is.

you want it,
yet its always "forget it".
you expect me to bother?
forget it.

nil sine labore

just to add on.
nothing without labour.
girls? labour?
right.
VS is and must remain a guys sch,
for the very simple fact that its VS.
we all know it as a guys sch.
everyone does.

things that can be done:
1. go to sch wearing skirts
2. push ang pow chew into the pond
3. boycot sch
4. revolt -> make noise tok crap durin class
5. march out of sch (!!)
6. submit a proposal to moe to get apc sacked
7. vj ex-vs victorians: first period of sch we pon and go vs protest

wa lau somebody pls do smthn.
open ure eyes.
shoo.

glad to be gone

screw you ang pow chew.
the notion of having girls in the wonderful institution called Victoria School is just disgusting.
i mean, can you imagine?
our reputation for being an all boys school,
all 129 years of it,
all down the drain.
bring in girls?
and rape us guys of all our fun?
no way.

VS stands for Victoria School.
VS stands for THE guys school.
no way in hell could they ever change that.
all the tradition,
spanning the many years of our existance as a purely guys sch,
and ditch all that? nooo...

it doesnt really matter what they do.
the thing is, they are doin SMTHN.
which is just wrong.
VS is perfectly fine the way it is,
and will be less someone does smthn to change it.
which is wads happening.
fuck it man.

wad do they know of the Victorian Spirit?
after coming to Vj,
i still feel i'm most at home back in vs,
among all the guys,
standing together as one,
a Victorian.
girls will just fuck dat up.
or whatever they do.
vs and vj and institution?
look at hci.
it'll never work out.
it'll jus destroy everything vs has built.
the spirit, the belief,
the culture.
no one cheers as hard as we do,
no one fights as hard as we do.
no one will.

and just tink.
with girls vs life will never be the same.
they'll haf to "respect" members of the opp sex,
so no more with all the crude joking,
all the crazy antics,
hardcore games,
madass fun.
like imagine the canteen,
when they're doin the oi.............. thing.
guy: oi....
guys next to him: oi!!...
girl: *in high pitch shrilly voice* oi stop it lah! so irritatin. hmph. *turns away and flicks hair*
guys: *stares* -pause- *points middle fingers*
teacher(maran?): oi u clowns! come here!
guys walk over to get screwed.

hell yeah i'm glad i left while it was still well and good.
yeah i'm missing out,
but at least i wont be walkin to sch every morning seeing girls.
i do that now. in vj.
but never in vs.

you guys this is your time.
make it count.
victorian boycot.

behind closed doors and blue eyes

dont you love the feeling?
the rage, an illusion of power.
i would.
but i've forgotten to hate.
these few years pass,
if theres one thing i've learnt,
its to let go.
no, not of things.
i cant do that.
to let go of feelings.
its not that i dont feel,
and i'll never claim that,
cos its nothing but a lie.
i feel,
but as much as i can,
i dont let my feelings to feel me,
to control me,
let it consume me.

and as such i don hate anymore.
i've gotten over it.
why burst a few capillaries here and there,
when one can just get on and live?
i'm not saying its wrong to hate.
its relative to each individual.
there are some things emotion is inevitable.
feelings will linger,
tempers to flare.
but after all that,
could you move on?

i'm not sure its the best way,
moving on,
don let it affect you.
some people just are affected.
its a result of bonds so close,
once broken, its more than just heartbreak.
they say the higher you climb,
the harder you fall.
so do you take the climb?
dare to traverse great heights?
i must admit.
i'm a coward.
for i dont even know,
if i'm willing to dare.
if its worse then not taking it.
its being unsure,

even after all this,
i've learnt one thing.
dat is not to let my emotions take control of me,
to let it eat me.
and in hate i see this major flaw:
obsession.
those who hate,
they're so obsessed with disliking a person,
they lose sight of the reality.
dat the person was never really there to hate.
which is why i hate no one.
i don particularly like many people,
in fact i pretty much dislike many people,
but i don hate anyone.
seeing as people obsessing over the person they hated,
i jus refuse to walk down dat road.
theres so much more i can do with my time.
"forgive and forget" the espression goes.
half of it is sufficient.
forget.

dont let emotion rule ure mind,
nor ure heart.
sunder thy soul.

manana - tommorow.
where i want to be.
i like watching doccumentaries.

deservingly deprived

why type so small?
isnt there nothing to hide?
you tink you're funny don you?
maturity is all about the scale.
and you evidently don haf one.
age is no measure of maturity,
i noe.
but again, maturity is all in the mind,
and all in the actions.
jus how,
is giggling at the top of your voice,
squaring up with someone one head taller (albeit his face OVER yours),
swinging your (not very big/powerful) fist at someone with twice your strength,
trying to boss/be little(the irony) people you cant,
going "oh you're so nice" so many times,
claiming all the "rage"and "anger" (so called) trapped inside,
(waiting to be unleashed on the world? god save the world)
how you're oh so weak inside,
not wanting to "lose it" in front of girls,
repeating jokes after everyone has laughed at the first,
acting the big-shot you're not,
showing off in everything you do,
shouting across the classroom,
going on and on about yourself,
everytime, anytime. (people do roll their eyes)
THEN label others immature and the sort.
to suppose so much.
is this maturity??
if it is, den i'm glad you actually tink me immature.
thanks, cos i'd gladly stay young forever.
above all, it'll save me all the embarassment.

blast from the past

i realised that recently, my taste in songs haf gone back in time.
i tink.
its like, i'm listeining to alot more 90s-02 songs den 05 songs.
so.

top 20 songs (again):
1. scars, papa roach
2. summer of 69, bowling for soup
3. one last breath, creed
4. so far away, staind
5. we believe, good charlotte
6. the young and the hopeless, good charlotte
7. faithfully, journey
8. beautiful didaster (live), kelly clarkson
9. behind blue eyes, limp bizkit/lifehouse
10. guilty, the rasmus
11. this i promise you, nsync
12. the middle, jimmy eat world
13. work, jimmy eat world
14. just the girl, the click 5
15. dirty little secret, the all american rejects
16. boys of summer, the ataris
17. drowning, backstreet boys
18. everything burns, ben moody ft. anastacia
19. stuck in a moment, u2
20. build me up buttercup, busted

hm.
i'm actually quite sure i left out some songs. many in fact.

my song reccomendations:
(besides the above 20)
- dreaming in red, the calling
- freestyler (original and remix), bomfunk mc
- crumbs, disagree
- runaway, electrico (wadeva u all may say i tink electrico is good. and so is pug jelly.)
- heaven sent, dokken
- crawling in the dark, hoobastank
- hello, evanescance
- maurenn, fountains of wayne
- the chronicles of life and death, good charlotte
- who we are, hope paltrow
- open arms, journey
- live for you, jason sweet
- very last moment in time, lindsay lohan
- you get what you give, new radicals
- sometimes, papa roach
- its been awhile, staind
- right here, staind
- outside, staind
- redemption, switchfoot
- the beautiful letdown, switchfoot
- daddy is a bitch, desmond

//

nothing left to say

actions speak louder than words.

anti-christian sentiments

warning:
ALL CHRISTIANS WHO DON HATE ME YET, PLS BE WARNED THAT THE FOLLOWING IS PARTICULARLY INSULTING AND CRUDE. I ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF YOU DON YET WISH TO HATE ME FOREVER.
NOW LEAVE.
nb. i won an ipod mini!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
disclaimer: to all my christian friends, i hope you arnt offended if u choose to read on. i don mean any harm. its jus my personal opinions and observations. i'm very sure you wont agree with me on many/all things, but let it be known that as much as you believe in god, i dont. if i do offend you, i'm really sorry. pls don take it to heart and come "crusade" me.
------------------------------------------------------------



----------------------------------------------------------


-----------------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
--->>
ah. still here.
well then. read on.

yesterday i went to church. well sort of. i was inside a church. suffering.
my conclusions.
1. church sucks.
2. christians are worse.
3. preachers can talk a whole lot of shit
4. whoa they sure as hell get all caught up and all
5. christian young-ass punk-wannabes are qian bian shit
6. i shall never hook up with a extremely devout christian
7. christians look stupid when they pray/worship ie. openin both arms into the air, spinning on the spot while singing... etc. like o.0
8. christians make PATHETIC mosh pits!! >.<

my reasons:
1. wa lau its goddam borin... i mean, sitting through i hour of preaching? man it takes its toll on you. i mean, me and lester ended up playin monopoly on his phone. oh then our game was cut short by prayer/some stuff that ended with amen. what nuts.

2. whoa look at the way the "dance" and bounce man!! its scary. like turning around on the spot?!? and the fucked up girl in front of us, (today whom i realised is from vj >.<), was like "excuse me do you mind i'm trying to listen?" when she turned back me and lester started laughing. softly, of course.

3,4. 2 stories! ugh! and they werent even interesting... what the hell. i mean, like who the fuck wants to know how god touched you or called out to you when u were about to commit suicide?? hello?!? it wasnt no god calling you. it was common sense. or well actually, not very common sense. christians don seem to haf it. the ones i saw aniwae. and well, the pastor joyce girl, she was like getting all emotional and "in touch" and stuff. its pretty interesting to watch. i mean, whoa they're getting touched. imagine if someone went up when every had their eyes closed and like touched her. no, not in the sick way. as in jus like lay a hand on her shoulder or smthn. -laughs and laughs and laughs for no apparent reason- well yeah. she sepnt 1 bloosy hr tokin cock, encouraging people to convert, to "accept god's love", cos "god will always love you". liek oh "god wants to meet you". hell yeah. he wants to meet me? he better que up. that is IF i want to meet him. by appointment only.

5. there was this small boy in front of us. yeah. everytime we sniggered at somthing or jus fidgetted abit, he would like look (up) at us and give us the "death" stare, the oh-shut-up-or-else-god-wont-love-you-and-i-cant-hear-him-and-let-him-touch-me look. ew.
like me, yeow boon and lester were ready to punch him.

6. ah duh. i don wan a chick who's gonna be touched by someone else other den me. no wait. i don wan a chick who WANTS to be touched by someone other than me.

7. like before the race the were showing videos and stuff, and there was like shots of the people lifting their arms into the air, feeling the god, during a concert/performance thingy.
me: "yo wad??"
lester: "oh my son..."
me: "dats gay. seriously."
lester: "yeah man. like wtf?!"
me: "man... christians i tell you".
lester: -staring at screen, still in disbelief-
dats roughly wad happened. you get the idea. i mean, it was reather retarded. dats wad god brings to you. there was this song, one line had somthing to do with spinning, people were spinning on the spot, in total tellytubby fashion!! like whurt?!?

8. jus look at them. just watch. they suck. seriously. bobbing up and down. WITH A BODY'S SPACE BETWEEN EACH OTHER?!? WAD KIND OF FUCKED UP MOSH PIT IS DAT??? crazy i tell you...

thoughts after church:
christianity is one heck of a deception. think da vinci code. except there never was jesus nor mary nor whoever else appears. jus imagine. scandalous.
the next time (if there is one) i willingly step into a church (keyword willingly) would be to collect an ipod. or smthn of that degree.

no more hour long preachin 4 me.

eeeks.