the truth is that i rather be a failure than a lousy friend

the ringing of your laughter slices through his heart. 

being depressed makes u do stupid things. 

being very depressed makes you do nothing. 

i cant believe that my great great great grandfather owned everything from tiong bahru to fort canning to clifford pier to telok ayer to mcritchie, and 20million worth of property and land in malaca, has a road named after him, 

and my grandfather is left with nothing. boo :(

the truth is, its never real till its real, 

always have to be the odd one out. 

knowing neccesitates action, 

so i guess sometimes not knowing is the easier way out. 

not that i have a choice anymore. 

its not different, missing out or not. 

missing has in a way been the word to describe my life. 

so i guess nothing's changed. nothing does. 

and of course i'm not surprised. 

i've just got to act like i'm not affected. 

radiohead and absurd go so well together, i'm surprised there hasnt been a gazillion plays written already... 

i love the internet. 

yay, i'm gonna have a jersey that says bobthemob :D

oh no :(

argh. how does one contend with this madness? 

who shall speak for the people when their leader is dead? 

i wouldn do anything it takes to get what i want. 

i would even lie to you about the fact that i lied to everyone. 

i'm the cool brother all little sisters want to have.

she's the fucking annoying little sister all brothers hate to have but have to have.

there just isnt any come back to "but you're smart what..." 

ugly

dreams. 

my dreams have been starting up again. i've been having more 5-dreams-a-night nights recently. the situations and events have all been very real. ok not real, realistic is the right term, as opposed to non-realistic. my problem is with the progression of time. things happen chronoloically, but not in absolute time. one moment i'm chatting with a girl, the next we are holding hands walking off into the sunset, for (hypothetical) example. and as realistic as these dreams are, they still dont make sense. they dont tell me what i want, they dont show me what to do, they dont do anything other than confuse me. and i'm already confused enough as it is. 

i've lost the habit of recording my dreams, or at least the fragments that i remember. why? because it doesnt matter. no one cares. at least not right now. 

the best friends are not those that are there for you all the time, they are the ones that are there for you at the right times. 

no one is perfect. and yet no one is equal. life will never be fair. 

the best time you weed something out of someone is just before they sleep. of course, you cant be a boring lousy conversationalist, because u'll just put them to sleep. you must be interesting, so as to keep the conversation going, and hence stop the other person from falling asleep. it is likely the other person will spill the beans just to shut you up, cos if u've heard what you want to hear, you wont ask any more questions, and he/she can sleep in peace. 

hur hur. 

its probrably indicative, when the scar on my leg is taking too long to heal. 

LIFEHOUSE WAS AWESOME :))))))))))))

friend, you cant lie about the truth. 

when you're willing to give without wanting anything back, yes, you know you've changed. 

h=e=l=l=o world. 

i have a theory on why singapore and america work so well together. for any action, there must be the ability and the willingness to act. so says econs, somewhere. singaporeans have the ability but lack the will. look at the number of A students we have and the number of A people we have. americans have the will but lack the ability. look at the number of people they have in power and look at the number of stupid people they have in power. so if you add them together, you have both the willingness and ability to act. success! (jireh scoffed at me.)

on another note, i feel different today. maybe its the fatigue. maybe its change. maybe its nothing. the think i do know is that today's different. i actually feel like telling people stuff. i feel like being a selfish jerk and just spout nonsense until people tell me to piss off. 

interesting thought: must dinners have a point? is there such a thing as dinner for dinner's sake? i suspect not. everyone has a motive, everyone has an intention. it's what makes people interesting. i want dinner to have a point, even if there isnt. no that doesnt seem right. i want dinner, regardless of whether there is a point or not. we can figure that out later. 

ok i am feeling tired. its all catching up to me now. 

i'm excited about lifehouse!! 

and i dont really like itunes anymore. its giving me lots of problems, although i'm not sure if its the itunes or the laptop. i wish i could figure things out more easily, life would be so much happier... 

i dreamt last night that ixer totally scoffed at my IS. 

i dreamt alot last night, it involved alot of running, alot of people, and the desperate search for koropok. 

i ran so much last night it felt unreal. then again, it was unreal.