please?

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MUSE-EP-Very-first-CD-release-555-999-RARE-MINT_W0QQitemZ320174676762QQihZ011QQcategoryZ1049QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

make bob a happy boy :)

i love my father :))))))))))))))))))))))))) <3 <3 <3

i'm sorry ok.
sorry for being so stupid.
sorry for being this useless.
sorry for not having an ounce of initiative.
sorry for being self-centred.
sorry for being selfish.
sorry for being hopeless.
sorry for not believing in all your stupid ideas.
sorry for being a non-conformist.
sorry for believing in what i do.
sorry for being lazy.
sorry for being dirty.
sorry for being eq retarded.
sorry for being a social outcast.
sorry for not knowing basic etiquette.
sorry for having no sense of what is right.
sorry for not doing the basics.
sorry for being totally worthless.
sorry for not even making the grade.
sorry for constantly failing.
sorry for being such a fucking failure, even tho i didnt fail.
sorry for being this pathetic.
sorry for not being a grown up.
sorry for being a teenager.
sorry for following trends.
sorry for being hip.
sorry for knowing how to use computers and technology in general.
sorry for wanting to be cool.
sorry for being so demanding.
sorry for not caring about what you want.
sorry for being such an insensitive bastard.
sorry for being a recluse.
sorry for not wanting to talk to you.
sorry for hating you.
sorry for all that i have done wrong to you.
sorry for making so much noise with my guitar.
sorry for actually liking and wanting to play music.
sorry for failing my grace 8.
sorry for hating my piano.
sorry for not doing what you believe should be done.
sorry for being such an idiot.
sorry for my existence in your life.
sorry for being such a pest to your blissful existence.
sorry for enjoying what i am doing.
sorry for wanting to get away from home.
sorry for wanting to stay over at other people's home.
sorry for being so damn selfish.

yes, i apologise for everything that i have done wrong to you. yes, i am always in the wrong. yes you are always correct. yes i bow down to you great sir. yes i worship your majesty. yes you are right. yes i am useless. yes yes yes.

go fuck yourself wont you.

false hopes and missing presentations

i thought i understood, but i realise i dont.
i cant even see beyond the curtains,
the sun doesnt chase me anymore.

maybe is not enough. we all know that.
and yet, maybes are all that we have.

ruled

pretend like the past was never there,
lift your head and make a stand.
hold on to the candles that light the way,
make all the clouds float away.

i've reached a point, where it just doesnt matter anymore. and i guess, all those things are all lost to be. i'm practising selective ignorance, and its easy. its so easy to block out all those things. i guess the reason its so easy is because its all external. you can just close your ears, let your mind drift of to another spatial dimension. but, there are still those ghosts that keep ringing in my head. yes its easy to block out the external, but the internal rages all the same. and i cant shut it out. my mind inevitably drifts back to those memories, those dreams, those little shattered hopes. and it is a vicious cycle. pain breeds pain. i guess the truth of the matter is that i cannot deal. i never could, and i still cant. its all the same at the end of the day. i mean, everyone's grown up, but still, everything will be the same. we're all existing in a static past, trapped in an artificial void of time. you cant really blame them. its the only way to kind of preserve what was there, yet at the same time not hold it back. the only real way to to create these little artificial blackholes, and to suck us stars back every once in awhile, just to prove that they can. and even the biggest planets must fall, even the farthest stars will divide.

and of course, we deny all that we have done.

that was yesterday, this was tomorrow

and so it begins, all over again, almost like yesterday couldnt be very much the same.

there is a difference. i mean, i dont know if anyone will notice, but i definitely do. and its because of this difference that makes it so hard. its bad enough hacing to start from nowhere. but having to restart from somewhere is even worse.

why is it that a simple man like me cannot even do the simplest of things?

its weird having all these thoughts. sometimes, i wonder if its all just wrong.

using masking tape to patch up these holes, it wont hold. sooner or later, somethings gotta give. lets hope it wont fall too much either way.

this whole escapism thing, its coming back to me. in all honesty, i realise its probably a whole lot easier than people make it out to be.

at some point or another, everyones going to have to entertain these thoughts. i think its just human. i wonder where all our lost thoughts and memories go. is there some kind of thought/memory catching machine that stores all the thoughts and memories that we dont retain? it would be thoroughly fascinating to be able to access such a machine. i'd imagine it would have some form of ranking system. i mean, some thoughts MUST better than others, right?

first time is no time to cry

hm let me try with my ipod instead.

1. Every move you make, and every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
(stalker song!)

2. I am a one way motorway
I'm a road that drives away
and follows you back home
I am a streetlight shining
I’m a white light blinding bright
Burning off and on

3. Tear it out of these open pages
Women and kids of all ages
Millions of men with blank faces
Italicized lies, headlines, bold type
(i suspect only rachel will know this)

4. You were not to blame for
Bittersweet distractors
Dare not speak his name
Did I cater to all you
All your needs?

5. And it's hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it's hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
(lol!)

6. You spent my money, drove my car
I treated you like a shining star
But in my sky all burnt out you are
And I'll have the last laugh, when I see you walking with some other guy
'Cause I know you are gonna end up all alone
(gosh such terrible lyrics)

7. I wanna love you, but I better not touch (don't touch)
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much)
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison
(freak)

8. I'm not in your house
But I'm not in your head
And you're not even listening
It's so hard to know
When you're not scared

9. (jap song. skip. its a ffx song)
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg omg everyone must listen to this song!!!)

10. Remember Rio and get down
Like some other DJ, in some other town
Who's been trying to tell me to hold tight
But I've been waiting this whole night
But I've been down across a road or two
But now I've found the velvet sun
That shines on me and you

11. Watching the people get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
And not very sensible either
(woo!)

12. Ice-age heat wave, can't complain
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand

13. Take me back where I belong.
You swear that it's safe here.
There is nothing to fear at all.
Take me back where I belong.
The pressure releases,
If I just let down my guard.

14. A monster lives in your backyard.
the 2x4's are making their way around.
the big get bigger when the fight’s done.
i found that secret door.
(lol. one of their weirder songs i suppose)

15. I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
(doh. haha its no 15! lol ok not funny -.-)

16. she was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
(classic man, classic)

17. You know I'm a dreamer
But my heart's of gold
I had to run away high
so I wouldn't come home low
Just when the things weren't right
doesn't mean they were always wrong
Just take this song
And you'll never feel
Left all alone
(i dont like this song very much.)

18. Heaven knows
I'm head over heels and it shows
( :) )

19. No cars facing our way
No cars, no cars
We'll all melt away,
Like ice in your hand, your hand
(i'll be very surprised if anyone knows this song)

20. Prom is coming up,
It's on the 17th of May
And i got a message
That I want to convey

I'll buy a nice suit
And you can wear a pretty dress
You will watch me dance
And realize i am the best
(such a queer queer song. is it even considered techno?)

21. No matter how hard I try
You're never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I'm better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you're here
This is not my home
I think I'm better off alone

22. And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

Cause you're all I want
You're all I need...
(ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh omg i love this song)

23. 'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
(ahhhhhhh)

24. So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head.
(i dont like this song, i dont like this band, Q mag loves them. wth -.-)

25. But this time
I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls
On desert sky
Until the end of everything
(ok granted, one of their better, albeit older songs)

wow. theres really alot of diff btw my ipod and my itunes. sigh. i should be doing pw. yes desmond, go do pw. shuttup bob. go scerw yourself des. -smacks bob-

everyone do the bob!

shall steal something from rachels blog. i am bored.

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly

ok first to decide, itunes or ipod? ok itunes.

1. I've dared to dream and i've tried to live
But I've played it safe again
Just another slave to my vices now...
(its a terrible song with terrible lyrics and terrible melody)

2. I just wanna see the weather,
But you, you've got my shoes,
It feels so wrong, it feels so right,
To come home to you late at night,
But baby, where are you now?
(doh)

3. Unos dos tres catorce!
(eeeeeeek1) i hate this song. hate hate hate.

4. So fly away and leave it behind
Just stay awake, there's no where to hide
I see you cause you won't get out of my way
I hear you cause you won't quit screamin my name
I feel you cause you won't stop touchin my skin
I need you-- I'm coming to take you away
(lyrically it looks terrible)

5. Ain't it amazing when the seasons begin to change
Someone behind the scenes just seems to pull some strings
I struggled with an old angel all nite long
I thought it might be nice if we just talked 'til down

6. I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that is a lie.

7. I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use
I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose
My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose
I'll swear I'll never give in, I'll refuse
(yay finally a decent song)

8. (i shall skip to the next one, i cant even find these lyrics online. its tv screens by phonograph)
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show your world to me
In a boys dream...In a boys dream
(lol)

9. Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay.
were laid spread out before me as her body once did
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn

10. Well I'm back in the class, falling out of your past
All the letters I wrote and you thought as a joke
And the phone never rings when your cold and it stings
All the holidays sucked *by myself* cause I'm fucked
And I'm dying, dying, dying
(eeyer. wad kind of lyrics are those -.-) haha ethel why in the world do u haf this song? its terrible.

11. Another knife in my hands
A stain that never comes off the sheets
Clean me off
I'm so dirty, babe
The kind of dirty
Where the water never cleans off the clothes
I keep a book of the names and those
Only go so far to bury them
So deep and down we go
(-.-)

12. Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight
(omg rofl)

13. And porn speaks to its splintered legions
To the pink amid the withered cornstalks in them winter regions
While aiming at the archetypal father
He says with such broad and tentative swipes "Why do you even bother?"
(this is just weird)

14. Ridin' down the highway
Goin' to a show
Stop in all the byways
Playin' rock 'n' roll
Gettin' robbed
Gettin' stoned
Gettin' beat up
Broken boned
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I tell you folks
It's harder than it looks
(scream!!)

15. Dont love me for fun girl,
let me be the one girl
(ohmygod wtf wtf wtf)
i jus thought of something. its circular isnt it? love me for a reason let that reason be love. wth -.-

16. Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I'd let a rumour ruin my moonlight
(:D)

17. Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
(terrible, indeed terrible)

18. Oh, I've got something in my throat
I need to be alone
While I suffer

19. Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please
(sigh)

20. Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
(possibly the most covered song ever? maybe most murdered too)

21. tick tock of the clock
make a wish but the time wont stop
i saw the glow of city lights
never thought id say that they shined too bright

22. (ugh another ___ song. i shall skip. its an interlude anyway)
betrayed
my plan ends a war with me
it's never up to me
I know they'll all pray
(uh,)

23. Hey Amanda
Where'd you find these crazy boys this time?
They say you're pretty but you don't think they're right.
(HAHA)rachel's possibly the only other person i know who erally listens to copeland. hm.

24. Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
(who doesnt know this song? ah connie.....)

25. The legend brings forth a time to come
No reason to slay the newborn son

The sky is falling
No escape Armageddon
The sky is burning
The end is just the beginning
(i would be very surprised if anyone knew this. if you do you prob need therapy)

aha so it is done. bob is off to eat again (that fat pig) and i shall go guitar.

not near, not here

its not quite all right. not yet. and maybe it will never be, but there's hardly anything we can do about it anyway...