Today i fell asleep in the train and embarrassed myself.

yes, lets not talk about our feelings.

i have lost the sense of wonder. nothing fascinates me anymore. life is duller than jabba the hutt. the routine is killing me. the endless cycle of waking up when the world is still asleep, working, working, working. i'm nowhere near ready to start working.

i'm learning more and more about myself. and about who i want other people to see me to be. obviously that sentence was so grammatically incorrect. its all about appearances. there's no running away from that, if not one would be living in self-denial. deny oneself, and deny all else.

there's nothing exciting anymore, especially in this loneliness.