when the've all gone away

today during the workshop thing joe talked about him and his sis, and i was moved by his story. i really was. and yea i teared. why? cos it really affected me... his story, it sounds so much like mine. and it made me think. it made me tink real hard... about things dat haf happened in the last yr and 3 months.

so i thought. about my marks. about sws. about my parents. about sher. about my frens. about some of the choices i've made. some of the decisions i've made. and looking back, i cant help but feel goddamn sad. cos sadly, i've lost it all... really. nowadays i don really feel much. everythin seems so far away...

i ask myself, is this what i want? my answer? no its not. but its wad i haf. its wad i've given myself. so want it or not i jus haf to get it done, this shit i've brought onto myself. blame me for the mistakes i've made, blame me for the choices i didnt make. anything goes really.

is it so hard to keep promises? or is it jus dat one chooses not to? becos there are promises i want to keep, promises i hope pple will keep, and maybe we'll all be better off. waiting, holding on, mistaking life for what it is.

i am incoherence.

all time been frozen, just an hour maybe two...