my gutted sorry

which is harder?
to like someone you love,
or to love someone you like?

times are horrendous. theres something about the whole atmosphere of life that just aint happening right now. everything feels so damn wrong. the rain doesnt rain right, the sun doesnt shine right. but i guess its not anyone's fault, only mine.

its really depressing, to think that we could possibly not be able to rectify our flaws. are our flaws inborn? are they coded in our genes and hence forever there? if it were, i find it a very scary proposition. i mean, people in general are propogating bad genes. every child that is born, he is but the manisfestation of mankind's faults and imperfections. but no i shall not think about these stuff. i try very hard not to. i dont want to lose hope in life so early on.

i'm not sure i'm ready, i'm not sure when i'll be, i'm not sure if i'll ever be.

i need something to distract myself. i need a change in perspective. i just need, something. i'd go as far as to say anything, but i dont think that'd be a gd idea. but right now, i'd settle for alot of things. do i need something to make me happy? i dunno, i really dont. i think i could settle for something that wouldnt necessarily make me happy, but that just distracts me. what would make me happy? gettin to know my hot neighbour? probably. getting pedals? probably. its all stuff that wont happen anytime soon or at all. so whats the point? i hope, i really do, that this is just another phase, and that it'll be gone after another few days.

at the end of it all, what really matters is who's left to tell the story.