somehow, someway, i must supress the inate rage in me. theres no way to get rid of it, i know. its in my bloody genes. all i can do, is to try my very best to supress it, to contain it. i mean, really its all i can do.
i'm in a terrible position. i'm in a position where i know that even if i dont put in the effort, i can still scrape through, i can still get by, and because of that, i never want to put in the effort. that sucks. its stopping me from doing better than i am doing, its stopping me, period. i really dont know how i can change that. fuck lah.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
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