getting lost in no rock n roll

am i not one to judge?

as fair as i want to be,
and its not saying i don try,
sometimes its jus so hard.
when everything i see,
i hear, its always about you.

now looking back,
i dont think you were this way all the time.
yet its strange the longer here,
the harder its for you to adapt.
to change so as to survive here.
things haf happened,
things dat should be put behind,
and move on.
things will happen,
and theres nothin u can do about that.

there jus isnt any point dwelling in the past.
yes, reflect we all should,
the lessons we all should learn,
but never brood on it,
for it'll only bring about resentment,
and regret? maybe so.
why keep wishing for things already lost?
there is no going back in time,
there is no bringin back those lost to you.

move on, as we only can do.
leave the past where it should be,
in your's.

see, that this is a new world,
a changed enviroment.
the poles have been reversed,
the plane turned upside down.
in this new place,
there is no commander,
there is no respect,
no trust, no belief.
and maybe you search for those,
which brings you security,
makes you feel comfortable in this foreign enviroment,
finding the ordinary in the extraordinary.

and i jus feel sorry,
for those whom haf been put thru.
all the suffering,
the hurt, the deceit,
all the things said.
having to spend the time,
the effort to even try.
and to respect you.
for being able to put up with all these.
to keep those emotions,
those fury locked inside.

your actions, your words,
i really dont know wad to say.
its so childish,
so immature its surprising.
for someone like you,
wad with the deceiving mask of a man u put up.
the things you ask,
more the way they are demanded,
it disgusts.
no one owes you anything,
as much as you seem to believe so.
maybe back then,
everyone treated you like a king,
and really i cant blame you.
but this is a different place,
and the game is immensely different.
so play it by the rules.

you're not dumb.
its true.
but why is it you never seem to think?
go straight on the defensive whenever anything is asked.
do things, then not ready to face the consequences.
cant u take a hint to save your life?
i always wonder,
if there was a huge neon signboard,
right smack in front of you,
could you read it?
its debatable.
and debated.

wad happened, its insulting.
to the integrity of the class.
rules were clearly laid out,
but lo and behold!
you, only you can break them.
and in what style to.
its no matter who,
but the action that is more important.
the fact that there can be a blatant infringement
of set rules which we had followed.
the fact that even after all of it,
you don even realise what it all meant.
you don even try.

to be dumb is one thing,
but to act it? when its so damn obvious?
now thats taking it abit too far.
its jus pushing it.
we know jus how it happened.
its apparent for all to see.
don try to play with language,
cos evidently you cant.
it cant be mere coincidence.
even coincidences must follow a certain guideline,
one that obviously lacks in your case.
what bullshit.

to whom haf suffered:
its jus too bad u had to go thru it all.
the time wasted,
the oportunity missed!
what a waste.
but now dat your eyes are fully opened,
to all the things you were blinded from,
its good to see that though a mistake had been made,
you're getting over it.

to whom is in the midst of it all:
you keep saying how it all aint worth your time.
bitch and bitch,
learn from each other so much,
yet when the crucial moment comes,
it seems you could never do it.
learn to harden the heart.
learn to hurt,
and then u will understand what it's all about.
its a choice for you to make,
and i trust u'll make a right one.

to whom else it may concern:
i leave you with this quote:
"learning never does equate understanding."

no venom involed.