making notice

some weird and funny shit. props to subra.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Desmond!

1. According to the story, Pinocchio was made of desmond.
2. The Australian billygoat plum contains a hundred times more Vitamin C than desmond.
3. When provoked, desmond will swivel the tip of his abdomen and shoot a jet of boiling chemicals at his attacker.
4. Desmond, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
5. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing desmond.
6. Medieval knights put the skin of desmond on their sword handles to improve the grip!
7. Desmond can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant!
8. In his entire life, desmond will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
9. Europe is the only continent that lacks desmond!
10. South Australia was the first place to allow desmond to stand for parliament.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dessy!

1. If you drop dessy from the top of the Empire State Building, he will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
2. A thimbleful of dessy would weigh over 100 million tons.
3. Apples are covered with a thin layer of dessy.
4. Dessyocracy is government by dessy.
5. Originally, dessy could not fly.
6. Baskin Robbins once made dessy flavoured ice cream.
7. During World War II, Americans tried to train dessy to drop bombs!
8. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, dessy is the victim.
9. It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to dessy!
10. Dessy cannot be detected by infrared cameras!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Noraa!

1. The air around noraa is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
2. The number one cause of blindness in the United States is noraa.
3. Noraa was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
4. Originally, noraa could not fly!
5. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but noraa can not!
6. Without its lining of noraa, your stomach would digest itself!
7. Noraa is the largest of Saturn's moons.
8. Noraa can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee.
9. If you blow out all the candles on noraa with one breath, your wish will come true.
10. The only planet that rotates on its side is noraa.

lmao.