whatever bitch

it isnt fair. but it never is.

what a strange feeling.
its so weird how things just, happen without you even knowing it did.
its like, lifes living without you.

i am so annoyed now i just feel like randomly flinging stuff around and just be violent and shit. argh. stupid.

somewhere, always

absolutely love love love them :)

theres so much more inside

home fucking stinks.

stop misleading me like i'm misleading you

i wish, i wish i could just speak my mind. i wish inhibitions were a lie. i wish it were so much easier. but the truth is, it isnt.

i cant deal with it, i really cant. theres always this barrier, this invisible bridge i cannot cross. i dont know if its because i dont want to, or because i really cant. actually, its not that i dont know, its that i dont want to know. there are so many things that i dont want to think about. j1 life has been so different. but i suppose, things last, but not forever. we want things to last forever, and i still hold out for that little bit of hope, but its hard. i mean, everything changes so damn fast. everything just, happens.

i dont know how to say it. i want to, i think i need to, but i dont know how. every possible scenario i can imagine, it just doesnt work. i think this really is the leap of faith. for very long i think i've been lying to myself. there are still the doubts, the possibilities we never want to consider, they are all still there. i'm only knee deep, not in over my head.

sigh. how does one break anothers heart?

i'm not sure where i'm going with all these. somehow, i cant help but feel i'm going round in circles all the time. i keep saying i want something to change, but i think the honest truth is that i'm afraid of change. i'm not sure i can deal with it.

you know, i think i really am what i'm not. somehow, i feel that i aint really who i seem to be. i contradict my thoughts and feelings with my actions, i contradict my beliefs with my mannerisms, i am one big contradiction.

its always the same old problem isnt it? left or right? i end up right in the middle. too fast? forcing. too slow? nothing. i dont know when i'll ever be truly honest with anyone. its such a terrifying thought. actually, i think i'm alot more honest here than i am in life.

i wish i were interesting.

things could be simpler, but they wont. and i know i've gotta do something about it. its not that i dont know how, its just i don care. i'm afraid.

i always am.

dreaming about toothbrushes and annoying bitches

i haf concluded that the annoying age is from 7-14. stupidest most fucked up time of a persons life. ok now the most fucked up time is 15-19. 7-14 is when they are the most annoying.

and i have also concluded, that i am boring. i want to be interesting. why cant i be interesting? :( i wish i were interesting. like, you know, really cool and funky and shit. but i'm not. i'm just getting by. a little bit of this and that, when you add it all up, its just a little bit of this and that.

the wholehearted truth and the half hearted lie

honestly, whats the difference?

spunk baby spunk

the empty sound of silence

http://bookshop.livejournal.com/834653.html

The Correlation of Good and Evil

Under the new guidelines imposed by the Union of Frankensteinian Detractors (UFD), the Correlation of Good and Evil states that:

1. The pandema of apostrophes is strictly defined to left and right
2. Two of the same is never of one kind
3. Bridging the subsistence divide should be left to the destruction of absolute infiltration and denounment
4. Bringing to fore hte misdemeanour of conflicts is a necessary misformility
5. Edging makes little locomotive action
6. To be is not to be
7. Picking up and placing down are polar similarities along the maekenean plane
8. An enhanced distance of 5 kilometric metres must be registered among all disunity
9. The defence of the missing collision should be left to the instigator and marinated by the involuntary crease
10. The collateral effect of vertical inhibition is strictly forbidden

Failure to adhere to any of the above regulations will lead to severe consequences. Repeated offenders face up to 2 gigaseconds of imprisonment on board the oven spaceship, or condemned to confinement among tiny manequins, or both.

PEACE>>>

the only thing under 12 that i'll ever call cute

omg. her voice jus makes my heart melt. omg.

can you fly, ever so high

crap. its happenning. all over again.

fuck lah, singapore really really really sucks. just like that, 3 wks of absolute bliss is gone, over, never to come back again. the misery that is my reality just struck me like, 429 secs ago.

i really hate singapore rite now. it'll prob pass, but i REALLY hate singapore rite now. heh, europe withdrawal symptoms are finally kicking in. damn it.

suddenly, i just dont feel like myself anymore. some part of me feels that i left some part of me somewhere. just like that.

it is coming to an end isnt it? all this happiness, optimism, hope, everything. i'm becoming myself once more. and as much as i hate it, as much as i dont want it, i dunno. i'll do my best, but sometimes, that just aint enough...

things sometimes really sucks. itunes is fucked up, my msn is lagging the shit out of itself, my dad is pmsy, i'm ranty and irritaty and everythingty, ugh. someone come cheer me up, NOW.

NOW.

forget it. i dont even know what i need. suddenly, i just cant feel happiness, like, i just dont know how i can be happy. rite now, everything looks fucking bleak. sch work's screwed up, family is screwed up, schedules are screwed up, everything i wan to do this hols i havent and prob wont/cant do, what the fuck. and thats not all.

NOW, SOMEBODY.

fascination fixation

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

MATT BELLAMY IS GOD.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

rant 0.78

i feel an inexplcable need to rant. even though i'm not in the ranty mood. i dont feel pissed. i'm not particularly irritated. i'm not being emo. i just feel like ranting. why? i dunno. maybe cos i haven ranted in a long time. maybe its cos i just want to rant. i dunno. i just feel like ranting. of course this kinda all looks terribly stupid cos i keep saying i want to rant but retarded me hasnt actually got around to ranting. which again isnt true because this technically is ranting isnt it? ok screw it i'm going to rant online instead. which again that statement doesnt technically make sense since this is ranting online. but am i ranting? i dont know. ugh. rant rant rant. somewhere there must be some petition going on denouncing the whole stream of conciousness thing. ugh. wad the hell. i love this world, and i ahte this world. AHA! proper rant! ok rant over. goodbye.

holaha

ok its time.

lit trip, was bloody fantastic. super. teriffic. woohoo. i suppose i could describe everything, but that take too many words. so, pictures! tada!








plane ride. very long one mind you.








thats the stratford hostel. kelly's all like: "hm. i think a tennis balls about that big." or smthn.








how anyone can bring themselves to live along that street is beyond my comprehension. then again, jane austen did. but then THEN again, jane austen is beyond my comprehension...









museums are cool man. VERY cool.










i dunno if its not supposed to, but the stonehenge amuses me. i dunno why. it jus does.

oh yes come come my artistic shots :D























gah i'm too lazy to blog about it anymore. come find me for photos if u must. hm i figure i'm pretty bad at this, thing. ah wadeva.

w.i.p

i haf decided that i will blog about everything when the withdrawal symptoms set in. so wait in peace.