key missing

am i so mysterious,
so much that no one knows me?
i dont know.
it nisnt so much that no one knows me,
but i think its more what i want someone to konw about me.
its strange isnt it.
described as hot and cold,
i really dont know.
that wouldnt be the best way to describe me,
cos with some things i'm just permanently cold.

i seek acceptance,
i seek understanding,
but so ironic is the fact that
though i seek all these,
i never allow for it.
and times like these i ask myself:
just what do i seek to achieve?
from all the lies, the deceits,
the part-truths.
and i dont haave an answer.
not yet.

why is it i cant open up?
why is it i cant allow others to understand me?
why?

cos i've kept my self locked,
the key is lost already,
and i still havent found it.