a completely pointless meaningless and neccessary post

tamper tampering tampered.

i like eating eggs. even with the cholestral and shit. and i thoroughly enjoy scrambled eggs with bbq sauce. its nice. jus as i like condensed mlik dissolved in hot water or cold milk. i'd rather cold milk. i generally like seafood. i like meat alot also. altho prob beef more than anythin else. ok i'm done with my 4 eggs. i shall go make my cup noodles.

ok i am back. and i haf forgotten wad i was tinkin about. well anyway now i'm tinkin about wad it means to be selfish of generous. which is worse really? tink about it. being generous makes u friends, being selfish can save ure life. which brings me to the question of which is worse? being too generous or too selfish?

i like making list. they give me some sort of comfort. some kind of control i rarely have. they give me smthn to do, smthn to place meaning in when theres nothing left.

oh yes i rmb now. i was tinkin about books. specifically war books. reacently i've been drawn to war books, and i find them very interestin and relevant. i tink wars are cool. i wan to fight a fucking war. the whole concept of warring is rather ironic. u spend months, years of your life preparing and training and preparing and training, and when it really comes down to it, its jus a matter of seconds. enemy? shoot. finish. end of fucking story. and at least from the books i've read, it seems like war brings out a different side of everyone. those fighting, those at home, those orchestrating the war. maybe its cos of the simple fact that wars are so...rare. unlike crime or natural disasters or anything else, war is just so infrequent. so much so that its a new experience for about everyone entrenched in it. which den of course means that no one really noes how to react. everyones new, everyones equal. everyone's on the brink of death. everyones that much closer to the end.

i've had very strange conversations with pple b4. from topics like respecting penises and vaginas to jus random meaningless bullshit. strange nonetheless. its funny.

u noe, somewhere, there is both a kid and an adult inside all of us. and i tink pple shouldnt try so hard to suppress any of those characters. it makes u one-dimensional. wheres the fun in that?? i mean, there are times we shld all jus act like kids. jus forget everything, embrace innocence once more. i don tink pple do this enough. its really quite sad. den again, there are times we shld, well, jus be mroe grown up. it sounds quite stupid and ompossible, but i tink its true. its like someone with the mental maturity of a 5 yr old in the body of a 16 yr old who sounds like an alien from mars. u know.

and another thing. the bus stop opp sch is actually a very good place for stoning. or well if u'd rather do it a place for reflection, a locale for embracing the past and anticipating the future. i don even noe wad the fuck i'm saying. point is, its a good place for stoning. why? cos one its not terribly ulu. so theres enough activity to keep one interested and entertained. two its not too noisy. three the roads quite wide, so its not all dusty and smoky and stuff. and four its a convenient place cos there are so many buses, so getting around/away shld not be a problem. i've taken to stonin quite abit over at that bus stop. it, i tink, keeps me mildly sane. at least after sch.

if ever you want to talk to me or tell me smthn or basically jus get my attention, and i'm listenin to my music and not lookin at u, kick me. its really the only way to get my attention. that or jump in front of my face and act like a clown. now that will get my attention. anyway its cos my music will be blastin at a volume that basically nullifies everything that is happenin around me. so rmb: kick me.

am i toying with fate,
or is fate toying with me?
actually, i shld jus do smthn about it.
yeah right.