titles hardly matter

now, the line's so blur, does it even matter anymore? even if i cross it, who will know?

u noe, zombie is actually a very good song to do work, play dota, some other stuff with. it has this strange thing to it. don ask me.

there are some things. you want them so so bad, that you'd be willing to do anything to get those things. but yet, no matter what you do, you never have the say. one word, and everything comes crashing down. every hope you harboured, they no longer matter. because why? in the first place the choice never was yours to make in the first place. you're just a pawn. or a bishop. or a knight. maybe even the king. but, you're still a damn chess piece.

how much of everything i say do i actually mean? everything i say and do, i'm not sure whether i myself think them through. or whether everything's only in hindsight. sometimes, i say things i don mean, and suffer for it. sometimes, i say things i mean, and suffer for it. i myself cant draw a clear distinction between the two. its the overlapping thats screwing me so bad. everything overlaps, in my life. so much so i really don noe what to do.

no one can really see me as a lost kid, rite?

funny? i'd rather it not be. i'd rather i not say anything, den to make most pple laugh, and that one person feel, i dunno. insulted? the feeling sucks, and the problem is that not everyone can deal with it. and i mean, how would i know? the line is never there till you're crossed it. and i've crossed way too many lines in my life. and i will keep crossing those lines. pioneer, or retard? you take your pick.

hey. so you wanted this, here it is. what can i say? thanks, and i'll see you soon? maybe. hm i haven made a xmas wish yet u noe. do you tink i could accumulate xmas wishes? haha. i really dunno what i'm saying. i noe. theres stuff i gotta tell you. personally. i'm not yet sure how exactly i'll do it, or how it'll sound, but its gotta be done i tink. so tell me when ure free. it really is a time for thank yous.

we can all put up a brave front.
but how many people can we say have seen us for who we are?
how many people can we see truly understand us?
how many people can you say hello to, and not expect a response?
how many people can tell you things you dont want to hear, over and over again?
how many people can do the things you want them to, without u telling them?
how many people can take all the blame for you, and not even know it?
how many people can make you cry?
we can all put up a brave front.
but how many people can you call your friend?

its terrible, how i have to use all these facades. ok, have to? or want to? i've yet to decide. i need time to think. i need perspective.