making notice

i swear, it felt like something. i dont want to admit it, but i think i will. its affecting me bad, i think. and any way i look at it, no matter how i try to twist all of it, it always comes back to the same thing.

quite how much, its always a problem you know. its hard to quantify such things, and in some ways, i dont think i should. well, doesnt mean i dont. i keep trying to quantify things, everything. everything must mean something, and when they do, i want them to mean nothing. but they do.

sigh.

what can i say that hasnt already been said?

its so messy, so complicated, when all i really want to say is so simple.

hello, again.