making notice

i'm going to pretend that i cannot hear a sound,
so that i may live without seeing you smile.
practice makes perfect in this world of imperfection.
now that it's all said and done,
i can go on making the same mistakes as before.
just to prove to myself that i was wrong,
give myself one more shot at redemption.

i somehow think i am losing it. it just doesnt feel quite right anymore. i am in a strange position. its weird, because i've never felt senior before. there's never been that kind of, i dunno, false sense of responsibility. suddenly, there's so much more to think about. suddenly, it isnt just all about me anymore. suddenly, i've got to be something more.

or maybe i'm just cheating myself, pretending that they actually care.