making notice

it makes my heart beat a little bit quicker,
lets me forget i'm hanging on to life-support.

the sooner this is all over, the better. i cant wait for ns. i really really cant wait. i mean, 2 years of being away from home!! how wonderful is that!

sigh. it really does piss me off. and well, the sad part is that i know it is in me also. and i dont know if i can control it. its like a monster eating away from within, yet at the same time attacking from outside.

and i'm hanging on to a heartbeat, waiting to pass my time.