making notice

she's slipping away once more.

i am confused. i keep having that same feeling over and over again. its just the feeling of no knowing who you are or what you are. sigh. i can still remember everything quite vividly. i dont think it will go away. not any time soon at least. you know, maybe i never did quite move on.

mmmh what you say...

i dont know what i want. or maybe that aint true. i know what i want. i cant decide what i want more. i know i cant want everything, that's just selfish and naive. i suspect i've got all my priorities all messed up. both by myself and also by others. i mean, i think everyone is set expectations. really, some of them are ridiculous. i mean, i know i'm being very selfish and short-sighted, but thing is, if i really dont want to do it, if i dont enjoy it at all, then what's the point?

you know, i keep asking myself so many questions, but i can never find any answers for them. i'm waiting for people to tell me what to do, because i'm just too afraid to take a stand.

i have issues. i dont think i can get along with myself very well. its becoming something of a problem. for quite long, i just have had to tolerate, to endure. i dont know, am i to be condemned for occasionally snapping? i probably am too proud to say sorry, but i am. i just wish people knew that. and i mean, looking at the stuff i've got to take, i dont want to whine and say that it is only fair, but i think it is. oh well. i'm just being all self-centred again.

absolution is upon us.
before you know it,
you're awake once more.