every time looking back i cant help but laugh. we were all so young and naive, so stupid and ignorant. and yet, after the dust has settled, i think i've emerged a better person. well, better by my definition that is. and everything happens for a reason, once you think about it enough. everything will have their implications, whether you like it or not.
i cant help who i am. but i've learnt that that is a lousy excuse for not trying.
smartass or jackass? i think right now i'd probably pick jackass. i think for very long i've tended towards smartass. its time for a change perhaps? there's no lesser of two evils anyway, might as well just pick one and stick with it.
i think my biggest challenge will be dealing with the reality that its a very different world now. i cant perpetually just live on my own wavelength and expect things to fall in line. i didnt listen then, but i understand now. (its not something i'll readily admit, but i must) its all the little things i guess. these are the things that you actually have control over. i'm done trying to control things that are beyond my control. its too tiring, and just not worth it.
sometimes i wonder if its just me being tactless. i mean there's always two sides to the coin, and it all depends on which side you want to take. and as much as i want to sit on the fence, i cant. so yes, learning when to shut up, it only comes with experience i guess. its really a case of learning from your mistakes. i think very often i walk a very fine line. i probably overstep that line every now and then, sometimes knowingly, other times not. all this living on the edge, i think its bad for me. its gotten me into way too many sticky situations. sometimes i wonder if i'm better off just backing off and just not bothering.
i guess you can only say you know someone when you've seen them in a vulnerable state.
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