that was yesterday. driving in the car.

how interesting.
seeing all of you,
as in ALL of you,
wan to put an explanation to wad i do.
why try?
cos theres no way you can.
is it that much of a mystery even?
i seriously believe its too much.
the attempts to try to make me feel sorry,
or insulted, or inferior,
whatever it is.
you and i both know it aint gonna work.

so you hate me.
how wonderful.
do i care?
no.
do i hate you?
i cant be bothered to.
yes i read your blog.
helps to destress.
thats why they invented comic relief.
and so much for being open and not hiding behind words eh?
hello but everything is communicated through words no?
and i find it really amusing you can talk about how they get to see the real me.
you've seen the subdued me?
humour me and tell me when.
i seriously doubt that has happened,
for the basic fact that no one noes the real me,
and i don tink u nor anyone in our class gets even close,
to even a small bit of me.
so don go shooting ure mouth off when you cant.
we haf lang arts lessons on argumentative writing.
its termed substatistion.
and yes i may need someone to hang on to.
but that person is so much more than any of you.
i'm not desperate.
i'd gladly survive,
maybe even prosper without "frenz" like them,
people like you.
i don noe.
i cant get over the fact that you can say you've seent the real me!
its jus too funny.
ah my sides hurt from falling off the chair.
and i'd like to see jus what you haf to say.
i can jus imagine:
" i hate you for everything you've done to me. i cant be bothered to explain."
whoa. some scariness.
you ask who am i to insult others?
my answer is plain and simple.
i'm human.
hence i feel.
i don imagine living in this comfy world,
where everything is served,
ready when you want it.
i know life sucks.
its out to get us all.
and i deal with that.
who are you to say that i haf no right?
i happen to also tink alot about,
who i am,
what i do,
what i want to do.
i don tink about how wonderful i am,
unliek SOME people,
but i tink about how i want to be.
screw people.
my life is and always be about me.
some people say they live for frenz.
i did.
i still do.
but not by any of you.
honestly i don care what you tink.
i don care what any of them tink.
fuck all of them if i care.

so you two are some pair eh?
interesting.
so this is about pride?
i wonder.
you wish to talk about egos?
isnt there abit of self-examination in order?
the two of you.
and the rest who are playing this game.
yes i do realise that this is a problem.
and it can and is tearing apart the class.
and why?
cos as much as you say you arnt,
you are taking sides.
and so is the class.
and i can safely say it isnt mine.
i don want for them to.
yeah yeah go side with them.
they're so nice.
they're so pitiful.
why cant we like forgive and all that stuff?
its simple enough.
there is no forgetting.
i also realise another thing.
this wasnt a class issue.
until CERTAIN people decided to make it one.
am i guilty?
possibly.
but dat doesnt change the fact that by bringing this out to a class level,
people are making others take sides.
if you havent already noticed,
i happen to realise that this is not some show.
adn i'm playing it as one.
you haf personal experience?
so do i.
and i'm not saying things arnt resolvabale.
problem here is it jus won be.

there is tension.
its darn obvious.
but why do you all bother so much?
thension will always suffice.
some stay, some go away.
let it be.

this is a plea to anyone who still wishes to comment on the issue at hand.
don bother.
nothing's gonna happen.
not yet anyway.

nb. and before you start saying how i'm deliberately causing trouble with my post(s), let me get this straight. i blog for the purpose of clearing up certain, say misconceptions. and i'm a fighter by nature. fight me.

goin back on everything we said.
didnt i already know it.