spinning away

i ask and ask again,
but still the same the road leads me back to nothing.
i've come so far only to have to see,
there really was nothing to succeed.

sometimes, i just think i'm chasing the impossible.
holding out for hope, even when there seems to be none.
some people may argue hope is always there,
whether we see it or not.
i just dont see the point anymore.
the truth is, its too hard.
too meaningless, to pointless, to tiring.
i dont want to have to do it anymore.
i mean, it really sucks being held like a prisoner in your very own home.
by others, and by yourself.
i dont want to be here,
and neither does he want me here.
just as it is, it leaves me no where to go.
i could roam, but where will i end up?
could i go anywhere better?
can i find a place that will accept me for who i am?
i think, i can be whoever you want me to be.
cos i dont even know who i am,
i dont think i can be me.
its easier to be someone else,
someone whom i dont have to take responsibility,
someone unlike me, yet in a way, still me.
i've gone and changed, but have you?
i cant help it, i've taken all my drugs and all the pills,
still the same memories and thoughts swirl in my throat,
choking the life out of me.
and i'm spinning, spinning, spinning.
spinning, away.