to be.

yes i have realised just how little time i have to think these days. everythings so fast, constantly moving ahead, moving forward, no one really takes time out to consider the past. and i guess i dont want to be caught up in that never ending forward pursuit, without looking back. it becomes a chore. i want to be able to sit down, all by myself, and just think. about everything, anything. to strip away all the superficiality, all the facades, all the borrowed clothing, all the painted masks, strip it all away, and deal with everything that's left. i guess the scary thought would be that maybe theres nothing left. maybe its all that i really ever have.

i am very disturbed by deja vus.