when it all means something

i'm terrible with words.

i think the best way to describe it all is that life's left me, jaded. i think it all really started to get real bad since ip. i mean of course some part of it can be put down to puberty and what not, but really, the things that have transpired, its left me the way i am. and i suppose the thing about it all is that our character, our personality, its shaped by all these. it just so happens i've been so jaded. in some way i've been jealous, forever longing for things i cannot have, and its caused me to become so skeptical and wary of things. and on the other hand, i guess i've also been through stuff, experiences, that has changed me. and the funny thing is, i suppose both having stuff and not having stuff has led me to become who i am today.

not that anyone knows.
not that it matters.