and what if we all died tonite?

we could all live happily ever after.
live in blissful ignorance.
believe everything to be all right.
that things will somehow work themselves out,
like they always do.
we could be happy,
we can laugh, joke life away,
but ultimately,
we'd be living a lie.
one many people are willing to live,
but a lie nonetheless.
who dares to try?

i've been dwelling for too long. in some ways, i've lost the ability to feel happy. its like, everday i'm living in limbo. yes i can be something, like be high or be happy or be sad or whatever, but AM i happy? i'm not. and i dont know how to make myself rediscover that emotion. i guess i need for something to happen. something i can do, and probably something i can succeed in. like winning something, or taking part in something, or just doing something. i'm not sure i've found that thing yet. there are some things that may do, but not yet. and i'm just hoping in these few months i might discover something that'll let me feel happy again.