Oh Dear

things have been different recently. i've spent more time worrying about my life than life in general. i dont know if that's a good or bad thing. perhaps it is neither. sometimes, it is better not to judge. taking a stand can be dangerous. 

i am tired. i've slept less than 18 hours in the past 3 days i think, which is disturbingly little considering its the holidays. i keep wondering if i am actually spending my remaining days the way i should. i mean, its not a lot of time left. yet somehow i dont really care. i am so so tired. 

gosh, its ironic how it is only now that i really understand some of the stuff i've learnt in school. i finally understand what young meant about waiting, about keeping an appointment that may never come. i can finally appreciate the beauty of the dream, and the misery of the illusion. perhaps one may never fully grasp the greatness of gatsby, but sometimes, one glimpse is more than enough. 

yes, settling for less can be a painful thing. at least be thankful you dont have to settle for nothing.